About three weeks ago, I got the news that the Bishop wanted to see me. You know that means something new to do. I was actually excited to get in and get involved in this ward because we've been here since the last week in August and I still had no calling other than being a visiting teacher. So, Derek, the kids and I headed to the Bishop's office to find out what awaited me.
I like to think of myself as a very willing participant--someone who realizes the importance in the small callings. Especially after being Relief Society President in my last ward, I appreciated those people who took their smaller callings seriously, allowing my job to run smoothly.
That being said, when the Bishop asked me to be the Assistant Nursery Coordinator, I was a bit disheartened. I accepted of course because, like I said, I'm willing to help and not every calling is glamorous. However, it was a very hard day for me following this news because I don't feel like the nursery calling utilizes my natural talents in anyway. One of my only talents (the other talent is eating) is being organized. I asked the Bishop if I should contact the Nursery leader to find out what I should do and he said, "Nah, just show up." That made me feel worse, thinking, "Great, I'm just going to be hanging out in the nursery all day."
I realize that callings are supposed to help us to grow in areas where we are weak and apparently I still haven't mastered what this calling is supposed to teach me because this is my third time in this calling in the last 4 years. It's still hard for me though because I'm with small kids all week long and I'm one of those people who goes to church and is actually willing to participate and enjoys learning while I'm there. I know plenty of people who would vie for this job because they just endure church. That's not me.
So, today I was sustained in my new calling and I showed up at the nursery only to find no other adults and a bunch of kids running around. I don't know what happened to the coordinator today, but she didn't show up. Luckily, there was another couple there who knew the kids and helped me out. It actually wasn't bad and the time went pretty fast.
The best part though was feeling a little connection to the kids. I really did feel a little close to them--one of the blessings of a calling. It's not that I don't like other people's kids, but nursery is a lot of kids running around usually and you, as the director, trying to keep them from hurting themselves or each other. One of the little girls sat on my lap during singing time and told me how beautiful my shirt was and was so sweet. Aren't children fun? This same girl asked me to take her to the bathroom and this is where the conversation occured that made my day.
We arrive at the bathroom stall. I asked her, "Do you need any help or can you do it yourself?" She replied that she could do it herself. While she's using the bathroom, I'm standing outside the stall door and then she says the following:
Kennedy: "My mom says that I'm going to have to start wiping better."
Me: "Oh yeah? That's a good idea."
Kennedy: "Yeah, she said if I don't wipe better I'm going to get an infection."
Me: "Oh no, that wouldn't be good."
Kennedy: "Yeah, and it will last a long time and hurt a lot."
I can hardly wait to find out all of the secrets in the ward. You know I'm going to hear it all. This is going to be so fun!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
On the Road Again, I Can't Wait To Get on the Road Again...
Well, I most certainly CAN wait to get on the road again. When I was a teenager, I actually really enjoyed my various drives from Provo back to Montrose where I would crank up the volume on the radio and sing as loudly and as badly as I wanted to. In fact, most drives I arrived almost hoarse from those nearly six hour drives. I even thought, from time to time, how I would love to be a trucker just chugging down the road listening to my tunes, singing and chatting on my CV radio to other truckers...
How scenarios change when you add a four year old and a barely one year old. I knew the drive from Gilbert to Montrose would be long (it's 11 hours if things go well), but I couldn't imagine how poorly it would really go.
We started off by finding ourselves on major icy roads--in Arizona!!! I realize that northern Arizona gets snow, but I never really take it all that seriously since I don't live there. Well, just before we reached Holbrook (the town with all the dinosaur replicas for you who have driven this path) the roads were really bad. I was driving--I like to drive okay. Like I said, I was driving and we were last in a line of about six cars. We were all going about 25-30 miles an hour. All of a sudden, I see the car in front start to spin off the road. I gently applied my brakes and watched as our car started to fall off the road as well.
It was really a little bit surreal as I didn't panic and neither did Derek. It was like one of those action scenes from the Mission Impossible movies where everything is in slow motion. In fact, during the car sliding off the road, Derek looked at me and calmly said, "Audrey? Blah, blah, blah" (I don't remember) I said, "Derek, I am putting on the brakes." So lovingly spoken to each other--must be the Christmas holiday spirit or something.
When we finally stopped, I was glad to see no one was hurt although it did wake Owen up from his nap, which is plenty enough damage in my book. Out from the car that originally slid off the road emerges three of the skinniest teenage boys you'll ever see. I promptly employed these boys as well as Derek to try and push the car back on the road. Given that the total weight of the four combined was probably about 450 pounds, I wasn't giving much hope to this activity and sadly, they couldn't do it. We had to wait until the highway patrol came and towed us back on the road.
The fun doesn't stop there as we slowly wove our way to Cortez, Colorado. Upon our arrival there, we called my grandma only to find out that there was a crazy snowstorm by Telluride and they were requiring chains and possibly closing the whole pass, so we needed to turn around and go to Utah and venture through that way. Well, Moab was clear as the reports promised, but Monticello was a nightmare. Derek was about to fall asleep, so we switched driving again and I drove the rest of the 14 hour drive home. Yes, 14 hours in the car with the kids. In the first two hours Ryanna asked that terrible question, "Are we almost there yet?" at least five times until we mentioned Santa's route may be flying directly past our house if she didn't desist. Owen was actually an angel and cried a tiny bit on and off and slept a lot. This is quite an improvement since the last time this drive was made he screamed for two hours straight without stopping.
After all of this driving, I can most definitely attest to the fact that Willie Nelson did not drive in snow-packed roads nor did he travel with small children or his lyrics would be greatly altered. I would also like to offer my greatest thanks to the creators of the portable DVD player. Bless you.
How scenarios change when you add a four year old and a barely one year old. I knew the drive from Gilbert to Montrose would be long (it's 11 hours if things go well), but I couldn't imagine how poorly it would really go.
We started off by finding ourselves on major icy roads--in Arizona!!! I realize that northern Arizona gets snow, but I never really take it all that seriously since I don't live there. Well, just before we reached Holbrook (the town with all the dinosaur replicas for you who have driven this path) the roads were really bad. I was driving--I like to drive okay. Like I said, I was driving and we were last in a line of about six cars. We were all going about 25-30 miles an hour. All of a sudden, I see the car in front start to spin off the road. I gently applied my brakes and watched as our car started to fall off the road as well.
It was really a little bit surreal as I didn't panic and neither did Derek. It was like one of those action scenes from the Mission Impossible movies where everything is in slow motion. In fact, during the car sliding off the road, Derek looked at me and calmly said, "Audrey? Blah, blah, blah" (I don't remember) I said, "Derek, I am putting on the brakes." So lovingly spoken to each other--must be the Christmas holiday spirit or something.
When we finally stopped, I was glad to see no one was hurt although it did wake Owen up from his nap, which is plenty enough damage in my book. Out from the car that originally slid off the road emerges three of the skinniest teenage boys you'll ever see. I promptly employed these boys as well as Derek to try and push the car back on the road. Given that the total weight of the four combined was probably about 450 pounds, I wasn't giving much hope to this activity and sadly, they couldn't do it. We had to wait until the highway patrol came and towed us back on the road.
The fun doesn't stop there as we slowly wove our way to Cortez, Colorado. Upon our arrival there, we called my grandma only to find out that there was a crazy snowstorm by Telluride and they were requiring chains and possibly closing the whole pass, so we needed to turn around and go to Utah and venture through that way. Well, Moab was clear as the reports promised, but Monticello was a nightmare. Derek was about to fall asleep, so we switched driving again and I drove the rest of the 14 hour drive home. Yes, 14 hours in the car with the kids. In the first two hours Ryanna asked that terrible question, "Are we almost there yet?" at least five times until we mentioned Santa's route may be flying directly past our house if she didn't desist. Owen was actually an angel and cried a tiny bit on and off and slept a lot. This is quite an improvement since the last time this drive was made he screamed for two hours straight without stopping.
After all of this driving, I can most definitely attest to the fact that Willie Nelson did not drive in snow-packed roads nor did he travel with small children or his lyrics would be greatly altered. I would also like to offer my greatest thanks to the creators of the portable DVD player. Bless you.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Double Threat
So, as you see in the post below, Ryanna plays the violin. Well, she's also taken quite a liking to one of my Christmas CD's. She has taught herself the lyrics during the course of this last month. Tonight she grabbed this huge microphone she has that echos and started to sing the song. You'll notice the initial verses are a bit vague for her, but the chorus is all hers. Enjoy! (Since I don't think this will post on blogger correctly--is anyone else out there having major issues with their pics and videos posting weirdly?), go to youtube here and view it.
****UPDATE!!!*** Okay, after all this constant teasing about me owning a Britney Spears Christmas album, I had to set the record straight. I do NOT own a Britney Spears Christmas album. I own an album called Platinum Christmas which features various artists, one of whom is Britney Spears. To further repair my tarnished image, it also features such artists as: Dave Matthews, Dido & Whitney Houston. Enough!
****UPDATE!!!*** Okay, after all this constant teasing about me owning a Britney Spears Christmas album, I had to set the record straight. I do NOT own a Britney Spears Christmas album. I own an album called Platinum Christmas which features various artists, one of whom is Britney Spears. To further repair my tarnished image, it also features such artists as: Dave Matthews, Dido & Whitney Houston. Enough!
Saturday, December 15, 2007
How to Play Jingle Bells Without Looking at Your Violin
So, Ryanna's violin concert was this morning. I was very happy to see that several kids who are older than her were playing the same song she was "Jingle Bells." I also am happy to report that she can play "Jolly, Old St. Nicholaus" and has learned the beginning of "Joy to the World" as well.
Now, we have been talking for weeks about her playing for this recital. One of the biggest problems for her in the last year is she is a people watcher violin player. This means that instead of looking at her violin, she'll learn a song so well that she won't even look at her instrument while she plays the song.
This was exactly what happened today. Since she wasn't looking at her instrument, she also played herself completely off her strings which caused her to lose her grip on her bow. She played on though. The crowd cheers---she played on, she played on! You can't see it especially well, but she's holding her bow a really crazy way after she loses her grip. She caught right back up to the music though. She did a great job overall. She played it perfectly three times before we left the house, but we apparently aren't nearly as fun to watch. Also, I have a video of her teacher playing a song as well. It's beautiful! I mean, it's not Jingle Bells, but it'll do--hee, hee.
If you can't get these video below to work, please go here and watch the video.
PLEASE let me know if you were able to view these videos on my blog or if you had to go to youtube.
Now, we have been talking for weeks about her playing for this recital. One of the biggest problems for her in the last year is she is a people watcher violin player. This means that instead of looking at her violin, she'll learn a song so well that she won't even look at her instrument while she plays the song.
This was exactly what happened today. Since she wasn't looking at her instrument, she also played herself completely off her strings which caused her to lose her grip on her bow. She played on though. The crowd cheers---she played on, she played on! You can't see it especially well, but she's holding her bow a really crazy way after she loses her grip. She caught right back up to the music though. She did a great job overall. She played it perfectly three times before we left the house, but we apparently aren't nearly as fun to watch. Also, I have a video of her teacher playing a song as well. It's beautiful! I mean, it's not Jingle Bells, but it'll do--hee, hee.
If you can't get these video below to work, please go here and watch the video.
PLEASE let me know if you were able to view these videos on my blog or if you had to go to youtube.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Projects that suck up my energy and time
I have always had the desire to create a picture DVD for my grandparents that documents their marriage and all of us that have come from their union. Well, I never had a program to do it before, but I decided this was the year. They also celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this year, so I thought the timing was perfect.
The problem lies in the fact that they reside in Colorado while I live in Arizona. One time while I was visiting, I was able to chronologically organize a bunch of snapshots through the years. When I say chronologically, I mean to the best of my memory and realize that I was not even alive for a lot of these photos.
I was able to convince my grandma to let me take those a year ago. The best photos are in a box at her house. Yes, a box, they should be on the wall or burned to a CD so all of us can enjoy them, but at least they're safe I guess. There's only a few things my grandparents really guard--jewelry, guns and photos. You psychoanalyze that. My aunt did manage to scan quite a few photos for the 50th Anniversary celebration, so that she could make these huge posters. She provided me with a copy of the CD and it has been a great resource for my project.
This is the very reason why I have been neglecting my blog. I have easily spent over 30 hours thus far (and I'm STILL not done) trying to create this thing. It's about 30minutes long with each photo taking up 5 seconds. Yes, that's over 400 photos. I scanned probably 150 of them myself. I have had to crop a lot of them and tried to improve color on a few.
Needless to say, my husband and kids have been awesome in giving me the time to do this. Especially my husband. I usually wait till the kids are in bed, but poor Derek has been incredibly understanding that his wife is bound and determined to finish what she set out to do.
So, I thought I'd post of few of me as a little girl, so you can enjoy my cuteness too.
The problem lies in the fact that they reside in Colorado while I live in Arizona. One time while I was visiting, I was able to chronologically organize a bunch of snapshots through the years. When I say chronologically, I mean to the best of my memory and realize that I was not even alive for a lot of these photos.
I was able to convince my grandma to let me take those a year ago. The best photos are in a box at her house. Yes, a box, they should be on the wall or burned to a CD so all of us can enjoy them, but at least they're safe I guess. There's only a few things my grandparents really guard--jewelry, guns and photos. You psychoanalyze that. My aunt did manage to scan quite a few photos for the 50th Anniversary celebration, so that she could make these huge posters. She provided me with a copy of the CD and it has been a great resource for my project.
This is the very reason why I have been neglecting my blog. I have easily spent over 30 hours thus far (and I'm STILL not done) trying to create this thing. It's about 30minutes long with each photo taking up 5 seconds. Yes, that's over 400 photos. I scanned probably 150 of them myself. I have had to crop a lot of them and tried to improve color on a few.
Needless to say, my husband and kids have been awesome in giving me the time to do this. Especially my husband. I usually wait till the kids are in bed, but poor Derek has been incredibly understanding that his wife is bound and determined to finish what she set out to do.
So, I thought I'd post of few of me as a little girl, so you can enjoy my cuteness too.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Christmas Carols, Christmas Trees & Christmas Cheer
So, let's start right in with the Christmas carols. Since I'm 29, that's right, I'm enjoying the last year of my 20s. Wow, I can't believe it. I digress, as I usually do when I write these things. Anyway, since I'm a mature adult, I have long since taken forgranted the lyrics to the Christmas carols we sing every year. Now I have a four year old who is very interested in learning the lyrics and I want to teach them to her. I want you to stop and think for a minute about the verbage in these songs and how antiquated or foreign it sounds to a four year old in this day and age.
Start with a simple song, "Jingle Bells"
Dashing through the snow (okay, that's not bad other than we live in Arizona, but she still knows what snow is although she doesn't think it's fair that I can't make it snow down here.)
In a one horse open sleigh
Over the hills we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bobtails ring WAIT, what? What's a bobtail? I'm assuming here the author is discussing the bells put on the horse's tail although I'm not an equestrian, is "bobtail" a correct term for the horse's tail?
Making spirit's bright
what fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight!
Overall, not too bad of a song, let's move on to "Deck the Halls"
Deck the Halls with boughs of holly. Problem--I know what a bough is, but it's not a word I ever, ever use in conversation with her.
Tra-la-la (etc.)
'Tis the season to be jolly
repeat
Don we now our gay apparel. Okay for this generation that phrase right there could take on a whole different meaning than during the writer's time don't you think?
repeat
Troll the ancient yuletide carol. I'm not gonna lie, I don't even know what this means, but I don't think it has anything to do with an ugly creature that scares small children.
See the blazing Yule before us. What the heck is this yule junk he keeps mentioning?
(Yule: Christmas, or Christmas season) Don't act like you knew that one either. So, since there were definitely not any Christmas lights then, is this a pyromaniac's song or what?
There's more, but I think that I've made my point with this song.
Okay, I had to get that out. Most of the songs aren't too bad, but the language is definitely old school.
Now, moving onto Christmas trees and Christmas Cheer. We decorated our tree last week. Well, Ryanna and I decorated it and Owen tried to systematically remove as many of the ornaments as he could reach. It didn't help our cause that the ornaments are shaped like balls either. As soon as he tore it off the tree, he launched it across the room. He also put the really little ones in his mouth (see picture). Good thing these suckers are made of plastic 'cause I can't tell you how many times a day now I start thinking, "Owen is playing so quietly and it's so wonderful that he's reached this stage," only to slowly realize that he is playing quietly because he's being NAUGHTY!!!
Do boys come programmed to think that the word "no" means that you are playing some sort of tag or keep away or is this just a second child syndrome? Instead of crying or looking guilty, he puts on his beautiful, dimpled grin and I have to start to giggle and it's really hard to discipline him. Plus, he's getting to be a pretty quick runner. I blame all of these characteristics on his dad because I was very obedient as a child (the fact I had no siblings to fight with is insignificant).
Owen fell asleep later after all of his mischief and I put his in his new sleeping bag by the tree. It was so cute!
While we put up the tree, I played Christmas music. It was also overcast and rainy here, as close to "snowy" as you're gonna get. It really did feel like Christmas. Plus, since it was gloomy outside, we could immediately plug in our tree and see the pretty lights. Not all of them 'cause two of my strands don't work and I don't know how to fix it and my hubby is too busy to deal with it, so with some strategic turning and placement of the tree, we just pretend. Santa isn't real, so why can't I pretend all my lights work?
Now, all I have to do is put on the necessary five pounds of weight from received goodies from others. So, I'm waiting...bring it on. Santa you ain't got nothin' on me!
Start with a simple song, "Jingle Bells"
Dashing through the snow (okay, that's not bad other than we live in Arizona, but she still knows what snow is although she doesn't think it's fair that I can't make it snow down here.)
In a one horse open sleigh
Over the hills we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bobtails ring WAIT, what? What's a bobtail? I'm assuming here the author is discussing the bells put on the horse's tail although I'm not an equestrian, is "bobtail" a correct term for the horse's tail?
Making spirit's bright
what fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight!
Overall, not too bad of a song, let's move on to "Deck the Halls"
Deck the Halls with boughs of holly. Problem--I know what a bough is, but it's not a word I ever, ever use in conversation with her.
Tra-la-la (etc.)
'Tis the season to be jolly
repeat
Don we now our gay apparel. Okay for this generation that phrase right there could take on a whole different meaning than during the writer's time don't you think?
repeat
Troll the ancient yuletide carol. I'm not gonna lie, I don't even know what this means, but I don't think it has anything to do with an ugly creature that scares small children.
See the blazing Yule before us. What the heck is this yule junk he keeps mentioning?
(Yule: Christmas, or Christmas season) Don't act like you knew that one either. So, since there were definitely not any Christmas lights then, is this a pyromaniac's song or what?
There's more, but I think that I've made my point with this song.
Okay, I had to get that out. Most of the songs aren't too bad, but the language is definitely old school.
Now, moving onto Christmas trees and Christmas Cheer. We decorated our tree last week. Well, Ryanna and I decorated it and Owen tried to systematically remove as many of the ornaments as he could reach. It didn't help our cause that the ornaments are shaped like balls either. As soon as he tore it off the tree, he launched it across the room. He also put the really little ones in his mouth (see picture). Good thing these suckers are made of plastic 'cause I can't tell you how many times a day now I start thinking, "Owen is playing so quietly and it's so wonderful that he's reached this stage," only to slowly realize that he is playing quietly because he's being NAUGHTY!!!
Do boys come programmed to think that the word "no" means that you are playing some sort of tag or keep away or is this just a second child syndrome? Instead of crying or looking guilty, he puts on his beautiful, dimpled grin and I have to start to giggle and it's really hard to discipline him. Plus, he's getting to be a pretty quick runner. I blame all of these characteristics on his dad because I was very obedient as a child (the fact I had no siblings to fight with is insignificant).
Owen fell asleep later after all of his mischief and I put his in his new sleeping bag by the tree. It was so cute!While we put up the tree, I played Christmas music. It was also overcast and rainy here, as close to "snowy" as you're gonna get. It really did feel like Christmas. Plus, since it was gloomy outside, we could immediately plug in our tree and see the pretty lights. Not all of them 'cause two of my strands don't work and I don't know how to fix it and my hubby is too busy to deal with it, so with some strategic turning and placement of the tree, we just pretend. Santa isn't real, so why can't I pretend all my lights work?
Now, all I have to do is put on the necessary five pounds of weight from received goodies from others. So, I'm waiting...bring it on. Santa you ain't got nothin' on me!
Sunday, December 2, 2007
The movie stars do it, so why shouldn't we?
Okay folks, you remember those family shots that we had taken? Well a couple of you are photoshop masters out there and you graciously volunteered to "fix" them if you will. I have been seriously impressed and a little bit disturbed to see exactly how much my friends are able to manipulate these photos. Let me just provide an example for you:
Do you see the second shot below? (I would move it to the first position, but blogger is having issues with picture downloads and I can't understand the help language they provided) My friend, and Photoshop master manipulator Jessica, did the following to this photo:
1. Erased all the bird droppings from the bridge.
2. Whitened all of our teeth.
3. Erased all of our wrinkles (must be talking about my hubby here-since I'm so naturally beautiful).
4. Eliminated people and a red bag that were in the background.
5. CHANGED Owen's head from a different photo onto this one.
6. Brightened my jewelry.
7. Erased a bird in the background. Disclaimer: No birds were injured during the editing of this photo.
8. Brightened the grass from yellowish/green to beautiful, like it was summer green!
NO, she did not remove any weight from me. I bet she would if I asked her to. However, when you all finally see me in person you might be a little disappointed if I had her edit that.
So, the moral of the story is twofold: When those Christmas cards and photos come this year. Don't believe them for a second! AND, why diet when you can photoshop?
Here are some other photos edited by Jess and by sister & brother in law Kjirsti and Tom.
Do you see the second shot below? (I would move it to the first position, but blogger is having issues with picture downloads and I can't understand the help language they provided) My friend, and Photoshop master manipulator Jessica, did the following to this photo:
1. Erased all the bird droppings from the bridge.
2. Whitened all of our teeth.
3. Erased all of our wrinkles (must be talking about my hubby here-since I'm so naturally beautiful).
4. Eliminated people and a red bag that were in the background.
5. CHANGED Owen's head from a different photo onto this one.
6. Brightened my jewelry.
7. Erased a bird in the background. Disclaimer: No birds were injured during the editing of this photo.
8. Brightened the grass from yellowish/green to beautiful, like it was summer green!
NO, she did not remove any weight from me. I bet she would if I asked her to. However, when you all finally see me in person you might be a little disappointed if I had her edit that.
So, the moral of the story is twofold: When those Christmas cards and photos come this year. Don't believe them for a second! AND, why diet when you can photoshop?
Here are some other photos edited by Jess and by sister & brother in law Kjirsti and Tom.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Feeling our Hearts
Last week I went out somewhere for awhile. When I came back, Ryanna was really excited to show me the note she had made. She is very into the idea of writing notes to people and is constantly coloring pictures or writing little notes to send to people. I have never actually mailed any of her stuff unless it was going to be part of a card or letter I was planning on sending anyway. I figured she'd whip out a picture she had colored while I was gone or show me a page with a bunch of random words she had written.
Well, I was partly right. The page she showed me did have some nonsense words on it, but what she said really touched me. She said, "Look mom. I made this because I wanted you to feel my heart."
I remember doing a similar thing when I was young. I used to write little notes to my grandparents and leave them on their pillows. I thought that they would really appreciate knowing that I loved them. They never did say anything about them, I hope they actually found them.
Nowadays, it seems that people in general, spend more time hiding or guarding their hearts instead of wanting others to "feel their hearts." It's a bit sad that as we grow up, we learn that people aren't always going to respect or love us and so we have to protect ourselves from pain. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could each love one another enough to allow us all to "show our hearts" to everyone without worry? Ryanna had no fear that I would unconditionally love her writing and her artistic efforts. She knows that I think she's fabulous. She knows I'm incredibly proud of who she is.
What a blessing it is to have a husband and children that let me "show them my heart." I never worry about anything I say or do around them. Do I say or do things I regret to them? All the time, but I know that they will always forgive me and our relationship will continue without blemish. What a wonderful idea it is that we can have a family that allows us to be completely open with each of our hearts.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Family Photos Arizona style
Saturday my friend, Sheri agreed to take some family photos for me. We headed over to Freestone Park which is a beautiful park. I had heard of it, but never been there, however, I definitely plan to go back. Anyway, she brought her camera and her daughter and took a bunch of pictures of our family. Crazily enough, it was a windy day (as you will witness with some of the hair) and it was a bit chilly as well. Being that we have adapted so well to the heat here, that means it was probably like low 70s and we were freezing.
Tell me which of the photos is your favorite of our family. I want to enlarge one and frame it for our wall. Let me tell you, between Ryanna looking anywhere but the camera for most shots and Owen being obsessed with watching the ducks and the water and my hair flying everywhere, it was a miracle that we got anything good. Oh, and yes, that is a bruise on Owen's forehead. Don't ask me, I don't know how it happened.
Remember, please tell me which number is your favorite and why, so I can decide which one is best! That means all of you too who never post comments. Don't try and be sneaky. I know you're reading this and not posting. Obviously the other shots are simply for your enjoyment.
Photo #1
Photo #2
Photo #3
Saturday, November 24, 2007
When a Good Thing Goes Too Far...
I went to book club the other night. No, this post is not going to promote literacy again. I know you're sick, sick, sick of that, so keep reading.
The friend I sat next to said she had spoken to her sister that day. Apparently her sister was at their mom's house for Thanksgiving. She went through the canned goods and discovered (I am absolutely not making this up) that her mom had canned M&M's.
This is just wrong for multiple reasons:
1. If the bag was unopened, you should've left them alone, that plastic bag was doing just fine.
2. If the bag was opened, could you not just finish them up? Could you not put them in a candy dish and let visitors eat them by handfuls?
3. I'm pretty sure this isn't what the Prophet meant when he said store a year's supply. I mean, it's left vague, so you get what's a year supply for your family, but this might be over the top for me even.
Although, if they were peanut butter M&M's, I might cut her some slack, 'cause dang, those would be a part of my year's supply as well. If you're going to have to survive on whole wheat, rice and some dried apples, you might as well have some dessert. No, fruit is not dessert. Fruit is only a dessert if it is covered in chocolate or assisted in its effort to act as a dessert by being a part of lots of sugar or cream.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Books for Christmas!
So, my wonderful husband sends me articles from the NY Times, so that I can be semi-aware of the world happenings around me. We never watch the news at our house because it is so incredibly depressing and disturbing. The most recent article was about the lack of pleasure reading that is going on among youth and young adults. Click here for the whole text.
Some of the sad statistics that this trend is causing (according to the article):
Some of the sad statistics that this trend is causing (according to the article):
- Reading test scores are declining.
- Employers are rating workers deficient in basic writing skills.
- FEWER THAN HALF of Americans over age 18 read novels, short stories, plays or poetry. (Okay, poetry???--I rarely read that stuff either unless it's cited in something else I'm reading.)
I don't want to be redundant with my thoughts here seeing that I recently spoke about reading for fun, but seriously, less than half of our population ever picks up a book and reads for fun? Do people just veg out in front of the TV or computer as their sole source of satisfaction? I mean, Harry Potter books, love 'em or hate 'em, brought back a plethora of youth, and adults, to the love of literature.
I just can't believe that parents are allowing their children to play on the computer, or video games or whatever else it is that they are doing without somehow ever picking up a book. Being that I had no siblings to play with during my childhood, books were such a blessing in my life. I would escape for hours on end in the pages and feel the emotions of the characters and let my imagination create scenery and faces from the text. I suppose that most of these youth and young adults mentioned are still reading, they are probably reading various things on the internet, some of it's even worthwhile...like my blog! I just think we should consider stretching ourselves a bit more than a two page internet article.
The article also mentioned that ours is not a society where the love of books is promoted. Seriously, when's the last time you turned on the TV and saw an author (other than JK Rowling) as the main guest on The Tonight Show or any other program that would draw a younger audience. It's really sad too because I belong to two different book clubs and I love discussing the literature and seeing the book from each person's perspective.
We are seriously seeing such disturbing trends in our culture--we're fatter than we've ever been and now we read less. Seriously, what's next...
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Books on Tape
So, I've been getting Derek books on tape to listen to in the car while he drives to and from work. He always has aspirations for reading more, but never has the time to accomplish the goal, so I thought this would be ideal. I also like being the one to pick the books on tape because I usually choose books I've read and then we can talk about the books later.
The first book I grabbed him was called Stones from the River by Ursula Hegi. I haven't read this book in several years, but I did remember that I liked it and the main character was a female dwarf. He enjoyed the book and thought it was well written.
The second book I grabbed him was a book I recently finished called A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini (the author of The Kite Runner). It was a very sad book, but so powerfully written. He told me he enjoyed it as well, but that he definitely needed a cheerful novel next.
Well, I didn't get him a cheerful novel, but I did grab him a classic that I love...East of Eden by John Steinbeck. If you haven't read it, you should. I read it after my friend Tina and I absolutely loved the story.
So, I have been doing the same thing with Ryanna. You'll notice my "shelf" of books in the sidebar of my blog and you'll see that it lists The Mouse and the Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary. I thought that would be a book a bit above her reading level and would be good for her to listen to as we drove. Truthfully, I didn't know if she'd want to listen, but to my delight, she demands to listen to her books on tape every time we get in the car now.
So, after the first, The Mouse and the Motorcycle, I went to Ralph S. Mouse, also by Cleary. She seemed to enjoy both books and did pick up a bit of the story. I didn't know how well she'd follow because she's often busy looking at the scenery as we drive or daydreaming--something she does a lot. However, I figured even if she gets only tidbits of the story, hopefully, it's enjoyable and she's developing a love of literature.
Our latest book is Matilda by Roald Dahl. I was excited to get it because I didn't grow up reading Dahl. I read Cleary and Judy Blume mostly. My husband had been really excited to have her hear it. I have to say that I've been really shocked at the violence and the language. It's a children's book, but Ms. Trunchbulll (spelling is a guess since it's a book on tape), is quite a villian. It talks about the Chokey where she imprisons children for whole days or hours at a time...and the way she talks!!!!
She calls the children "stupid, little blisters, gobs of glue" (those are the phrases that are fresh in my mind from today's drive anyway). The way the parents treat Matilda and speak to her is appauling. I don't know, I am pretty disturbed by the whole thing really. It's making me worry that Ryanna's going to be afraid of school and start using some of the language that is repeatedly spewing forth from the Headmistress and the parents.
I'm still a little up in the air about how I feel about the whole thing. Not to say that the books I'm intrigued by don't have images that are violent or contain bad language in some spots, but I'm not choosing to read those books to my four year old.
Any of you who grew up reading Roald Dahl, what do you think????
The first book I grabbed him was called Stones from the River by Ursula Hegi. I haven't read this book in several years, but I did remember that I liked it and the main character was a female dwarf. He enjoyed the book and thought it was well written.
The second book I grabbed him was a book I recently finished called A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini (the author of The Kite Runner). It was a very sad book, but so powerfully written. He told me he enjoyed it as well, but that he definitely needed a cheerful novel next.
Well, I didn't get him a cheerful novel, but I did grab him a classic that I love...East of Eden by John Steinbeck. If you haven't read it, you should. I read it after my friend Tina and I absolutely loved the story.
So, I have been doing the same thing with Ryanna. You'll notice my "shelf" of books in the sidebar of my blog and you'll see that it lists The Mouse and the Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary. I thought that would be a book a bit above her reading level and would be good for her to listen to as we drove. Truthfully, I didn't know if she'd want to listen, but to my delight, she demands to listen to her books on tape every time we get in the car now.
So, after the first, The Mouse and the Motorcycle, I went to Ralph S. Mouse, also by Cleary. She seemed to enjoy both books and did pick up a bit of the story. I didn't know how well she'd follow because she's often busy looking at the scenery as we drive or daydreaming--something she does a lot. However, I figured even if she gets only tidbits of the story, hopefully, it's enjoyable and she's developing a love of literature.
Our latest book is Matilda by Roald Dahl. I was excited to get it because I didn't grow up reading Dahl. I read Cleary and Judy Blume mostly. My husband had been really excited to have her hear it. I have to say that I've been really shocked at the violence and the language. It's a children's book, but Ms. Trunchbulll (spelling is a guess since it's a book on tape), is quite a villian. It talks about the Chokey where she imprisons children for whole days or hours at a time...and the way she talks!!!!
She calls the children "stupid, little blisters, gobs of glue" (those are the phrases that are fresh in my mind from today's drive anyway). The way the parents treat Matilda and speak to her is appauling. I don't know, I am pretty disturbed by the whole thing really. It's making me worry that Ryanna's going to be afraid of school and start using some of the language that is repeatedly spewing forth from the Headmistress and the parents.
I'm still a little up in the air about how I feel about the whole thing. Not to say that the books I'm intrigued by don't have images that are violent or contain bad language in some spots, but I'm not choosing to read those books to my four year old.
Any of you who grew up reading Roald Dahl, what do you think????
Sunday, November 18, 2007
My Sunday Munchies
Okay, I don't know if I'm the only one that suffers from this ailment, but I have to confess that immediately when church is over, I need to eat. I'm not talking about going home and casually perusing the cupboards and making a healthy meal either. I'm talking about, the car comes to a complete stop and it's about all I can do to help my husband get our children out of the car, get myself changed from my Sunday best to my pj's (YES my pj's--discovered the comforts of lounging around in pj's much too late in life and have been desperately making up for it by trying to wear them every Sunday for about six months now), and run like a hunted animal down to the kitchen where I grab for the quickest item that can be shoved in my mouth.
So, I could easily explain away this phenomenon by stating that it happens because our church goes through lunchtime, so of course I'm starving when I get home, but let's be honest, if our church started after dinner, I would still come home and want to shove food in my face. Healthy--not really, Satisfying--in a sick, I have no self-control type way.
I would like to end by confessing that once I've found a certain satisfying object and have inserted it into my mouth, the fat girl rampage ends there, but that would not be honest. Actually, on Sunday my mind tends to go into overdrive thinking about all of the yummy, homemade treats that I could be making. I usually start with either chocolate chip cookies or cinnamon rolls. To my credit, I usually make neither like today. I can't give myself too much credit though because I had a little bit of peanut butter chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory left, so that was enough for me. I'm not kidding when I say I like dessert and I like it rich!
Anyway, Sunday usually continues on with our whole family eating random items for meals at random times. Ryanna had toast, peaches and a couple bites of my corn chowder soup for dinner. Derek never ate dinner I think and Owen had some chicken nuggets, peaches and one bite of my soup. I hardly ever get to eat all of my own food. It's my new diet called "be a mom your kids will eat half of your food" diet. It's probably saved me thousands of calories by now thus allowing me to eat things such as...well, peanut butter chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory.
Sidenote #1: The above pictured cheesecake, is not the abovementioned flavor, but it would do in a pinch.
Sidenote #2: Do not be fooled by the frozen boxes of The Cheesecake Factory cheesecakes that are sold at Costco. They don't even come close to touching the flavor and texture of a fresh made piece from the restaurant.
Sidenote #3: You will soon discover that I have a penchant for sidenotes. They just feel good and let you know what I'm really thinking.
So, I could easily explain away this phenomenon by stating that it happens because our church goes through lunchtime, so of course I'm starving when I get home, but let's be honest, if our church started after dinner, I would still come home and want to shove food in my face. Healthy--not really, Satisfying--in a sick, I have no self-control type way.
I would like to end by confessing that once I've found a certain satisfying object and have inserted it into my mouth, the fat girl rampage ends there, but that would not be honest. Actually, on Sunday my mind tends to go into overdrive thinking about all of the yummy, homemade treats that I could be making. I usually start with either chocolate chip cookies or cinnamon rolls. To my credit, I usually make neither like today. I can't give myself too much credit though because I had a little bit of peanut butter chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory left, so that was enough for me. I'm not kidding when I say I like dessert and I like it rich!
Anyway, Sunday usually continues on with our whole family eating random items for meals at random times. Ryanna had toast, peaches and a couple bites of my corn chowder soup for dinner. Derek never ate dinner I think and Owen had some chicken nuggets, peaches and one bite of my soup. I hardly ever get to eat all of my own food. It's my new diet called "be a mom your kids will eat half of your food" diet. It's probably saved me thousands of calories by now thus allowing me to eat things such as...well, peanut butter chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory.
Sidenote #1: The above pictured cheesecake, is not the abovementioned flavor, but it would do in a pinch.
Sidenote #2: Do not be fooled by the frozen boxes of The Cheesecake Factory cheesecakes that are sold at Costco. They don't even come close to touching the flavor and texture of a fresh made piece from the restaurant.
Sidenote #3: You will soon discover that I have a penchant for sidenotes. They just feel good and let you know what I'm really thinking.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
My Baby is ONE!!
Today my little boy turned one year old. Technically as I'm writing this, he STILL wasn't here yet. Yeah, he took his sweet time to show up. Apparently my body doesn't seem to understand that the kids need to come out at sometime. I was a week overdue before they would induce me. I walked my butt off for two weeks hoping to get something going on my own, but no luck. I did get several nasty blisters though. However, with only one dose of prostaglandin, my body gets it done! 
So, to some of you, this may sound gross or too much, but I actually got to see Owen come out. How you may ask? Well, they asked me if I wanted a mirror to see it. My first reaction was no, but then I thought, "I've had an epidural, I'm not feeling any pain, why not?" I figured if it was too much, I'd close my eyes or look elsewhere. Well, I only pushed 7 times and Owen was out. For those not impressed with 7 pushes please remember he weighed NINE pounds when he was born. Seeing him come out was a seriously spiritual experience for me. Amazing.
My first thought after they laid him on my chest (which they immediately did after he was born--covered in blood and such) was "Whoa! This kid looks big to me." He was so perfect though. I couldn't believe I had another baby. 
I was really worried about having a little boy because I didn't grow up with any brothers and so I thought it would be trickier somehow. So far, he's been such an amazing little boy. He is the sweetest thing. There are so many things I love about Owen...- His smile--Dimples on each side (just like his sister and neither me nor my husband have dimples).
- His hair--It's very light brownish/blonde and in the back it has little curls.
- His belly--When he is walking around with just his diaper on and that belly is sticking out it is so cute (I'm still hoping this comes back in style for women my age).
- His little bum--There is something so funny and endearing about a naked little bum that is running away from you as you try to catch it to throw it in the tub.
- His chatter--He isn't saying a lot of words (ma-ma, da-da, na-na (for Ryanna)) but he is constantly saying something...I just don't know what it is...probably exactly what he's thinking everytime we all talk.
- His kisses--They are open-mouthed and they are rare, but so sweetly given.
- His honking--One time I made the honk noise when he grabbed my nose and it made him laugh, so we play that game several times a day now.
- His unconditional love--shouldn't we all be more like children in their quick nature to forgive and to want to love everyone around them? Owen loves me so dearly and makes me feel so important when he reaches for me and finds comfort in my arms.
- His backward eye-roll--when he's really wanting to nurse and he finally latches on, it's the eyes rolling back in ecstacy that just makes me giggle, must be a lot like I feel about food.
- His chest--He has a pretty deep chest, check out the picture of him when he was first born...it's funny because his middle name is my grandparents' last name who raised me and my husband swears that our little boy is built just like my grandpa with his deep chest.
I wanted my husband and I to have the experience of having a boy and a girl to raise. It'll be interesting to continue to see the differences. Right from the beginning it's noticeable and I can hardly wait to see how much more evident it will become.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Hallo-Thanks-mas
Yesterday when we were coming home from church, I saw a couple of guys with ladders and tools walking around a neighbor's yard. I thought, "Oh, just finishing up some yard work." After a closer look, I discovered they had been busy, little elves and installed Christmas lights on the house. Christmas lights? Already? THEN...
Today I went on a walk with the kiddos. I've been trying to do that every night to make the time go by more quickly and get a tiny bit of exercise and mostly to enjoy the temperate climate of this time of year. Anyway, walked by the above mentioned house and the Christmas lights were on! Seriously.
Okay, I absolutely love Christmas. It's definitely one of my top two holidays, but it's not even the middle of November yet. I realize the department stores and every other such stores are already bombarding us with Christmas merchandise, but what the heck happened to Thanksgiving?
My poor daughter is so confused she keeps asking me when we're going to celebrate Christmas and I have to constantly remind her that we have to celebrate Thanksgiving first. Then she asks me when we're going to celebrate her birthday (which isn't till April) and I have to remind her it's not for a long time. Yesterday, she told my grandma that she could go trick-or-treating with her. The poor girl has some sort of holiday schizophrenia going on.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Take a Look, It's in a Book...
- This morning I went to one of my favorite activities--book club! I actually belong to two different book clubs, one made up of women in my new ward and the one I went to today which is composed of women from my old ward. It used to be one of our interest groups for the ward, but was removed as an interest group...not a subject I like to discuss.
The last two times we've gathered we've done a brunch theme where each of us brings a brunch type item and we talk about life, kids, etc. and eventually discuss the book as well. It's a lot of fun to hear people's perspectives on the book that month--what they loved, what they didn't like, how they felt about the characters, the symbolism they found in the book.
Seriously, how can you not love to read? I know there are people out there who don't read. Why? I admit that I don't read a lot of self help or hard science type books, but I do love to read pretty much everything else. Admittedly, there is a lot of trashy literature out there, but there is so much interesting and thought-provoking material as well. I never understand how people can't get into books. I think I average reading a book about every week and a half.
I always get really excited when I finish a good book, I want to share it with other people. I love to talk about it and see myself or my life experiences in the book. I love to learn about the author and see how their life is reflected in the book as well.
I have a lot of areas in my life that I need to improve and that includes reading certain books. Some of the books I haven't read, but want to get around to are: - Anna Karenina and War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
- The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo (We're reading it for this month's book club!)
- 100 Years of Solitude by Gabriela Garcia Marquez
- For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemmingway
- Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote (Did you know he wrote this? Did you know he grew up with Harper Lee who wrote To Kill a Mockingbird--already read it.)
- Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Say it isn't so!
Many of you seem to be aware of the strike by most of the writers who write anything worth watching anymore. Well, I wasn't too concerned until I heard that the Office is only going to have one more episode and then be done because Steve Carrell refuses to cross the writers striking line to return to work.
Time Encapsulated
Hello internetizens. I have returned from my web logging hiatus. You may be asking yourself, “what happened to Dwight all summer?” Shut up. It’s none of your business. Just focus on the present. In this case, the present has two meanings. In its first usage, it is temporal. The present is the here and now. It is also being used to mean “a gift.” This web log is a present from me to you, the reader, because you do not pay for it and I am giving it to you. Enjoy your present (both meanings).
This weekend, while my cousin Mose was aerating the soil in the East Field, he came upon a metal box labeled “For Dwight. DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2005.” Luckily, Mose is not nosey and brought it to me unopened right away.
As it turns out, the box was a time capsule that I had left for myself in 1985. It was quite interesting to see what 1985 Dwight had left for 2005 Dwight, even though 2005 Dwight forgot it was there and had to be reminded by 2007 Mose two years later.
These are the contents of 1985 Dwight’s Time Capsule:
1. A dehydrated beet sculpture of myself holding a very small metal box meant to represent a miniature version of the time capsule. I was very much into beet miniatures when I was teenager. I did not, however, know my “BeetDwight” would shrivel into dehydration. That occurred because of science, not intention.
2. A friendship bracelet. They were all the rage amongst agricultural teenagers in 1985. I was susceptible to fads back then. This has since been corrected.
3. Half of a Twix Bar. It must have fallen in.
4. A letter to myself. It said: “Hello Dwight. If you’re reading this, then you are not dead. Good. If you are not Dwight and you are reading this, be aware that this letter is cursed and the ghost of me will haunt you forever. Dokken Rules. Dwight.”
5. A letter to my wife. This is a sensitive subject as I am unmarried and have obviously disappointed my former self.
6. The carcass of a vole. At first I thought it had either fallen in or been trapped while attempting to retrieve the Twix bar. After careful thought, however, I remembered that this was the skeleton of my neighbor’s pet. I despised him and kidnapped one of his voles. Unfortunately, the vole perished before I could return her, so I threw her into the time capsule so there would be no evidence. This serves as my confession. If any authorities are reading this, I willingly accept any punishment bestowed upon me, although I believe the statute of limitations on vole manslaughter has run out.
This “blast from the past” has cast an interesting shadow over my week. It has provided cause for great self-reflection. In truth, however, I am proud of who I have become and regret nothing. Now I must make a time capsule for 2025 Dwight. I hope he is alive when he opens it. And married. And running a large paper company. And a beet magnate or mogul, whichever is most powerful in 2025. Additionally, I hope he has created a way to keep miniature beet sculptures hydrated over long periods of time, thus making himself very rich yet unburdened by the pressures of being overly wealthy.
That is all,
Dwight K. Schrute
If anyone knows how to get chocolate out of hair, let me know. I fell asleep on top of forty Fun Size Milky Ways last night and now I’ve got nougat everywhere. I already tried peanut butter, but that just made my hair into a different kind of candy. I’ll make you a deal: you get it out of my hair, you get to keep it.
Parents always freak out about crazy people giving their kids apples with razorblades hidden inside for Halloween. Those parents are idiots. If you’re getting a free razorblade inside your apple, you shouldn’t be complaining. And if you really want to impress me on Halloween, give me some licorice. That stuff hits the spot.
Now, I totally understand him wanting to support these writers and honestly, The Office isn't much without a great dialog since it's so character/dialog driven. I don't know what those writers are asking, but GIVE IT TO THEM!!!
Here are some of Creed's Thoughts and Dwight's Web Log from the website to tide you over until tonight's episode:
Hello internetizens. I have returned from my web logging hiatus. You may be asking yourself, “what happened to Dwight all summer?” Shut up. It’s none of your business. Just focus on the present. In this case, the present has two meanings. In its first usage, it is temporal. The present is the here and now. It is also being used to mean “a gift.” This web log is a present from me to you, the reader, because you do not pay for it and I am giving it to you. Enjoy your present (both meanings).
This weekend, while my cousin Mose was aerating the soil in the East Field, he came upon a metal box labeled “For Dwight. DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2005.” Luckily, Mose is not nosey and brought it to me unopened right away.
As it turns out, the box was a time capsule that I had left for myself in 1985. It was quite interesting to see what 1985 Dwight had left for 2005 Dwight, even though 2005 Dwight forgot it was there and had to be reminded by 2007 Mose two years later.
These are the contents of 1985 Dwight’s Time Capsule:
1. A dehydrated beet sculpture of myself holding a very small metal box meant to represent a miniature version of the time capsule. I was very much into beet miniatures when I was teenager. I did not, however, know my “BeetDwight” would shrivel into dehydration. That occurred because of science, not intention.
2. A friendship bracelet. They were all the rage amongst agricultural teenagers in 1985. I was susceptible to fads back then. This has since been corrected.
3. Half of a Twix Bar. It must have fallen in.
4. A letter to myself. It said: “Hello Dwight. If you’re reading this, then you are not dead. Good. If you are not Dwight and you are reading this, be aware that this letter is cursed and the ghost of me will haunt you forever. Dokken Rules. Dwight.”
5. A letter to my wife. This is a sensitive subject as I am unmarried and have obviously disappointed my former self.
6. The carcass of a vole. At first I thought it had either fallen in or been trapped while attempting to retrieve the Twix bar. After careful thought, however, I remembered that this was the skeleton of my neighbor’s pet. I despised him and kidnapped one of his voles. Unfortunately, the vole perished before I could return her, so I threw her into the time capsule so there would be no evidence. This serves as my confession. If any authorities are reading this, I willingly accept any punishment bestowed upon me, although I believe the statute of limitations on vole manslaughter has run out.
This “blast from the past” has cast an interesting shadow over my week. It has provided cause for great self-reflection. In truth, however, I am proud of who I have become and regret nothing. Now I must make a time capsule for 2025 Dwight. I hope he is alive when he opens it. And married. And running a large paper company. And a beet magnate or mogul, whichever is most powerful in 2025. Additionally, I hope he has created a way to keep miniature beet sculptures hydrated over long periods of time, thus making himself very rich yet unburdened by the pressures of being overly wealthy.
That is all,
Dwight K. Schrute
If anyone knows how to get chocolate out of hair, let me know. I fell asleep on top of forty Fun Size Milky Ways last night and now I’ve got nougat everywhere. I already tried peanut butter, but that just made my hair into a different kind of candy. I’ll make you a deal: you get it out of my hair, you get to keep it.
Parents always freak out about crazy people giving their kids apples with razorblades hidden inside for Halloween. Those parents are idiots. If you’re getting a free razorblade inside your apple, you shouldn’t be complaining. And if you really want to impress me on Halloween, give me some licorice. That stuff hits the spot.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Stake "Torture" Conference
Our Stake Conference was today. Also known as the dreaded day without Primary or nursery for those of you who speak in LDS terms. It was a double whammy for me because Derek was out of town until this afternoon, so I was going to have to brave it alone.
Imagine it if you will. Let's put it into one of those movie preview voices. You imagine the music in the background while I narrate:
Hold onto your scriptures because here it is, the most anticipated spectacle of the year! One woman...(dramatic music inserted here and flash my face without the stress zit that popped up on my chin the other day) two children under the age of five (more dramatic music and pictures of my kids running)...face the daunting task of: Stake Conference!
They said it couldn't be done... (show pictures of people mocking) this woman barely out of her youth (I'm adding that phrase to make me feel younger here, just go with it okay.) handling these two children during a conference where adults speak for TWO FULL HOURS without stopping!!! (flashes of speakers at the pulpit).
She'd have only one opening hymn, a couple of releases and sustainings and a rest hymn to help her survive (more dramatic music). Was she up to the challenge? Who would come of conquerer--the young mother or her two, fatherless children? Coming to a theater near you!
Well, I'm happy to say that we survived the entire conference and I actually did feel the Spirit while I was there. Our stake president reminds me a lot of my last stake president in his down to earth, let's be real approach which I really like. I was really blessed to have some friends of mine, who don't have any children, come in and sit right behind me and the wife pretty much served as my nanny during the whole thing.
I really do have to wonder about the whole stake conference idea...I think it's a great idea for all of us to come together as a stake, but it's really, really difficult to have your children endure that much sitting for that long. I realize Ryanna is old enough to do okay with a fair amount of coloring books and Benadryl injected straight to her veins. Owen is not able to do it (I can't seem to get the dosage right yet...) and I am not alone in this either as I saw zillions of other parents roaming the halls with their brood trying to keep them quiet. (Before someone turns me into child protective services, I am totally joking about drugging my kids up okay?)
Even harder is the Saturday night session which my husband and I have never attended since we've lived in Arizona. In our last ward, all of our friends had small children like we do, so it wasn't fair to ask them to miss stake conference so we could go. For those with family nearby, it's was no big deal. Frankly, after serving in Young Women's in the prior ward, I don't know that I would've trusted many of the youth to watch our kids.
Seriously, can you imagine the day before microphones? Can't you just see the families? Here's a probable pioneer family discussion in preparation for attending stake conference:
Mother: June!!! Do you have the gunney sack full of treats for young Henry and Eliza?
June: Indeed I do mother. I have packed some of our tastiest smoked jerky and a whole jar of raspberry preserves with a loaf of that wonderful bread that Sis. Pierce brought us a fortnight ago. (I knew I could get the word fortnight in an entry if I wrote enough of these blog things!)
Mother: Bless you June. I think you may also want to grab some sticks and rocks that they can throw at each other to keep them entertained as well.
June: I already thought of that mother. (you'll notice in corny books written in this day and age, the children always say "mother" instead of "mom.")
Mother: I do appreciate your help with all of this. I can only hope that we don't sit next to that noisy Petersen family. They are what I'd call a lively group.
June: Yes, and have you heard? The town's all a flutter with news that her husband has left her to study abroad for a time and she'll have to care for the young things all by herself.
Mother: Well, we can only hope to set a good example for young Sis. Petersen. She does try her hardest after all.
I am still thinking of creating a petition to begin an even earlier nursery than currently exists. You know how they have CTR A and CTR B or they used to anyway. It would be Nursery A. My guidelines would be:
1. Child must be mobile ('cause before that you just have to deal with them--sorry!)
2. No biting allowed (one bite and you're gone, no fair to make other parents hate your kid)
3. Run by responsible married couples without kids (this will serve two purposes: give the parents of the child a break and make the married couple running the nursery realize how much they want a baby or how they are not yet ready to be parents--bonus either way)
All joking aside, I love church even if it is difficult with kids. I know that the only way they will be able to learn to sit quietly is if I keep giving them opportunities to do it. It's just fun to poke a little fun at my own struggle to deal with it. I am grateful though that I have my husband by my side to help out. There are special blessings for all you women that have husbands sitting on the stand.
Imagine it if you will. Let's put it into one of those movie preview voices. You imagine the music in the background while I narrate:
Hold onto your scriptures because here it is, the most anticipated spectacle of the year! One woman...(dramatic music inserted here and flash my face without the stress zit that popped up on my chin the other day) two children under the age of five (more dramatic music and pictures of my kids running)...face the daunting task of: Stake Conference!
They said it couldn't be done... (show pictures of people mocking) this woman barely out of her youth (I'm adding that phrase to make me feel younger here, just go with it okay.) handling these two children during a conference where adults speak for TWO FULL HOURS without stopping!!! (flashes of speakers at the pulpit).
She'd have only one opening hymn, a couple of releases and sustainings and a rest hymn to help her survive (more dramatic music). Was she up to the challenge? Who would come of conquerer--the young mother or her two, fatherless children? Coming to a theater near you!
Well, I'm happy to say that we survived the entire conference and I actually did feel the Spirit while I was there. Our stake president reminds me a lot of my last stake president in his down to earth, let's be real approach which I really like. I was really blessed to have some friends of mine, who don't have any children, come in and sit right behind me and the wife pretty much served as my nanny during the whole thing.
I really do have to wonder about the whole stake conference idea...I think it's a great idea for all of us to come together as a stake, but it's really, really difficult to have your children endure that much sitting for that long. I realize Ryanna is old enough to do okay with a fair amount of coloring books and Benadryl injected straight to her veins. Owen is not able to do it (I can't seem to get the dosage right yet...) and I am not alone in this either as I saw zillions of other parents roaming the halls with their brood trying to keep them quiet. (Before someone turns me into child protective services, I am totally joking about drugging my kids up okay?)
Even harder is the Saturday night session which my husband and I have never attended since we've lived in Arizona. In our last ward, all of our friends had small children like we do, so it wasn't fair to ask them to miss stake conference so we could go. For those with family nearby, it's was no big deal. Frankly, after serving in Young Women's in the prior ward, I don't know that I would've trusted many of the youth to watch our kids.
Seriously, can you imagine the day before microphones? Can't you just see the families? Here's a probable pioneer family discussion in preparation for attending stake conference:
Mother: June!!! Do you have the gunney sack full of treats for young Henry and Eliza?
June: Indeed I do mother. I have packed some of our tastiest smoked jerky and a whole jar of raspberry preserves with a loaf of that wonderful bread that Sis. Pierce brought us a fortnight ago. (I knew I could get the word fortnight in an entry if I wrote enough of these blog things!)
Mother: Bless you June. I think you may also want to grab some sticks and rocks that they can throw at each other to keep them entertained as well.
June: I already thought of that mother. (you'll notice in corny books written in this day and age, the children always say "mother" instead of "mom.")
Mother: I do appreciate your help with all of this. I can only hope that we don't sit next to that noisy Petersen family. They are what I'd call a lively group.
June: Yes, and have you heard? The town's all a flutter with news that her husband has left her to study abroad for a time and she'll have to care for the young things all by herself.
Mother: Well, we can only hope to set a good example for young Sis. Petersen. She does try her hardest after all.
I am still thinking of creating a petition to begin an even earlier nursery than currently exists. You know how they have CTR A and CTR B or they used to anyway. It would be Nursery A. My guidelines would be:
1. Child must be mobile ('cause before that you just have to deal with them--sorry!)
2. No biting allowed (one bite and you're gone, no fair to make other parents hate your kid)
3. Run by responsible married couples without kids (this will serve two purposes: give the parents of the child a break and make the married couple running the nursery realize how much they want a baby or how they are not yet ready to be parents--bonus either way)
All joking aside, I love church even if it is difficult with kids. I know that the only way they will be able to learn to sit quietly is if I keep giving them opportunities to do it. It's just fun to poke a little fun at my own struggle to deal with it. I am grateful though that I have my husband by my side to help out. There are special blessings for all you women that have husbands sitting on the stand.
Friday, November 2, 2007
This is the Halloween that does not end...
So, when I was growing up, each year I celebrated Halloween one time, one day of the year. It seems to me that in everyone's attempts to make Halloween wonderful for our children, Halloween gets done multiple times a year anymore. For instance...
Halloween #1: Our ward's Trunk or Treat where we were able to have chile (I made a really yummy white chile that I took) and hot dogs and drink root beer. The kids walked around and got buckets full of candy at this event as well as winning little prizes at the various booths.
**Sidenote**I do have to ask though, whenever my grandma makes rootbeer, she always puts dry ice in, to keep it cold and probably for entertainment value as well. This rootbeer was that "left on the counter too long to be good and cool" temperature. Doesn't homemade rootbeer need dry ice or is that one of those myths that I've created from my upbringing? I'm looking to find out if I'm abnormal or do the rest of you do dry ice too?
Halloween #2: Ryanna's pre-school did a small little Halloween where we moms each did a little activity with prizes for the kids. I did the cupcake walk. Ryanna helped me decorate the cupcakes. They were strawberry with cream cheese frosting.
Halloween #3: Our community where we live held trick or treating the night before Halloween because I guess in past years our subdivision got slammed pretty hard and some of the residents were upset that their own children didn't get any candy because houses would run out before kids who live here could get any. I really liked this because it allowed me to meet my neighbors. It's hard in this day and age to meet your neighbors because people work so much and when they come home, they don't go out. I met a lot of people and really enjoyed myself and the kids came home with loads of candy.
**Sidenote**NO Owen's costume is not him being eaten by an alligator as I got asked TWICE. Seriously, that's a little out there for me to even think of. He was a dragon. It's not my fault he wouldn't wear the head piece. Doesn't he know I'm trying to get good photos here? Those Anne Gedes & Tom Arma photos where the kids are in cute animal costumes--don't believe it for one second! Those kids were doped up on Dimetapp or something to get them to grin and sit still and not try to yank the head piece off and give an Indian war cry in your face. At least my son would never go for it.
Halloween #4: Ryanna helped me to pass out candy to the kids that came to our house on Halloween night. We didn't get nearly the crowd I thought we would because so many people turned off their lights and didn't participate on the real night because they had done the community trick or treat. I thought it was a good chance for Ryanna to give since she had received so much. I think she might've enjoyed the power of distributing the candy more than she did getting it even.
Wow! That's enough Halloween festivities to last a lifetime...or I guess till next year anyway!
**Last Sidenote I promise**Due to the amount of times Ryanna was able to dress up, she was a Princess for some activities and a cow for others. Her choice.
Happy Birthday Sweetheart
I just wanted to let you know that I married the most wonderful man (hopefully you all feel the same about your own husbands).
I really feel so blessed to have a hard-working, intelligent, athletic, spiritual, HOT man in my life. The more I hear about some of the guys that are out there, the more I realize how lucky I was to find Derek. If you feel like you're married to a man with great qualities who treats you well, offer a prayer of thanks because you have a huge blessing that some women would die to have.
Serioulsy, how easy is it to bash your husband's faults rather than to acknowledge his differences and celebrate how your differences and his are what make your marriage wonderful? I know that if Derek were just like me, we'd drive each other crazy...and be really, really FAT. You can't have two people obsessed with junk food like me and be healthy.
He's such an example to me...I love him!!!
Derek, I wish that you were able to be home today to celebrate with us, but know we're thinking of you.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Friends, Food, Fun
Do you remember hearing this slogan a while back? (see title) I think that it hits the nail on the head so to speak.
Honestly, yesterday I was having a crummy day as per my post. Don't we all have those days where we deeply ponder the unfairnesses that life has presented us and worry that it will never be right? I get in those funks sometimes...luckily for me, I have a wonderful husband who is so much wiser than I am. I also have such wonderful family members (Kell & Don) who take the time to tell me they love me and appreciate me. I'm sorry I posted when I was having a down moment, I hope you won't all think I'm ridiculous. Thanks for your support though, it really lifted my spirits.
Last week some of my girlfriends and I got together to do a craft project. One of my closest friends, Alacey, is incredibly creative and talented and so she volunteered to help us do a fun fall project. We tried for several weeks to establish a night we could all get together sans kids to make it happen. We literally could not find one single night that all of us women could meet. Finally, we decided to do it with the kids around.
It was chaotic, it took longer than it would've taken without the kids, my house was a mess, but more than any of those things--it was fun. After we had finished our little projects, we all started feeling the munchies. Alacey said, "I think we should go to Barro's for lunch." She didn't have to say it twice and we had all grabbed our kids and were out the door. For those of you not familiar with Barro's--it's a local pizza chain that has a kids' area with a huge TV which plays Disney movies, a play kitchen with tons of food items (even milk cartons that look real--huh Jen?) and a little house and car to play with. Oh yeah, the pizza is delicious too.
After we had devoured the pizza and we were rounding up the kids to head home, I had such a content feeling. Friendships do that don't they? A good chat with a close friend is akin to a good accomplishment--you just feel so satisfied when you've taken the time to do it well.
Today I had a group of girlfriends and their kids over again. It too brightened my spirits. It's just so nice to forget yourself for awhile and just play with friends. It's also refreshing to have a good night's sleep. Amazing how waking up in the morning and thinking about the blank slate of a new day will help you to keep your issues in perspective.
Though I may not have everything I need, or I think I need, I do have so much more than most. I have wonderful friends and I am grateful for them.
Honestly, yesterday I was having a crummy day as per my post. Don't we all have those days where we deeply ponder the unfairnesses that life has presented us and worry that it will never be right? I get in those funks sometimes...luckily for me, I have a wonderful husband who is so much wiser than I am. I also have such wonderful family members (Kell & Don) who take the time to tell me they love me and appreciate me. I'm sorry I posted when I was having a down moment, I hope you won't all think I'm ridiculous. Thanks for your support though, it really lifted my spirits.
Last week some of my girlfriends and I got together to do a craft project. One of my closest friends, Alacey, is incredibly creative and talented and so she volunteered to help us do a fun fall project. We tried for several weeks to establish a night we could all get together sans kids to make it happen. We literally could not find one single night that all of us women could meet. Finally, we decided to do it with the kids around.
It was chaotic, it took longer than it would've taken without the kids, my house was a mess, but more than any of those things--it was fun. After we had finished our little projects, we all started feeling the munchies. Alacey said, "I think we should go to Barro's for lunch." She didn't have to say it twice and we had all grabbed our kids and were out the door. For those of you not familiar with Barro's--it's a local pizza chain that has a kids' area with a huge TV which plays Disney movies, a play kitchen with tons of food items (even milk cartons that look real--huh Jen?) and a little house and car to play with. Oh yeah, the pizza is delicious too.
After we had devoured the pizza and we were rounding up the kids to head home, I had such a content feeling. Friendships do that don't they? A good chat with a close friend is akin to a good accomplishment--you just feel so satisfied when you've taken the time to do it well.
Today I had a group of girlfriends and their kids over again. It too brightened my spirits. It's just so nice to forget yourself for awhile and just play with friends. It's also refreshing to have a good night's sleep. Amazing how waking up in the morning and thinking about the blank slate of a new day will help you to keep your issues in perspective.
Though I may not have everything I need, or I think I need, I do have so much more than most. I have wonderful friends and I am grateful for them.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
What makes you sad?
Have you ever mourned the loss of something you never had? Something you recognized other people had and you envied, but try as you might, you would probably never have it in your life? I'm not talking about something superficial like a nice car or house or killer body, I'm talking something deeper like a relationship with a family member or close friend.
I don't think I would describe it as envy or jealousy of other people because I certainly don't begrudge anyone their happiness. I would love for everyone to be happy. I'm talking about something that's perhaps out of your control...A friendship that is taken from you without your permission...a missing piece of a relationship that will never be filled.
Take for instance my dad. My dad was around for about the first year of my life, or so I'm told. I don't ever remember him being there. I don't really remember anything in my life before about age five which is actually quite a blessing I think. Well, my dad tried on and off throughout the years to be involved in my life in his minimalistic way. He would call and have me over for a couple of hours and then return me to my grandparents' house.
We didn't really develop anything closer than that until I was married actually. He calls me fairly frequently now. He often calls to tell me his troubles and sometimes get advice. I appreciate the effort he makes to be a part of my life. I don't think he had the greatest example of a father himself growing up and he openly admits that. The point is that he's trying now, in the best way he knows how, to be in my life.
This ties back into my first question--mourning the loss of something you'll never have--because I never had a dad. I had a grandpa who served in that capacity, but that doesn't mean that I don't need a dad because I have a grandpa. It would be like saying because I have my grandma, I don't need my mom.
I have reached a point in my life where I have to recognize that I will never have a dad. I don't call my biological father dad because I don't think I ever saw him fulfill that role in my life. I don't know that the love he feels for me is that of a father for a daughter. I know that he feels closer to his other kids than me and that's fine. I don't begrudge them their relationship with him. I'm glad he got a second chance to try and be a dad.
How do you fill those holes in your heart? How do you move past that desire to make things how they should be and accept someone else's right to hurt you? How do you look at them and feel such sadness and let it go and hope for better?
I wish I could explain this to her. I wish I could make her see how she makes me feel. She doesn't even know me.
I don't think I would describe it as envy or jealousy of other people because I certainly don't begrudge anyone their happiness. I would love for everyone to be happy. I'm talking about something that's perhaps out of your control...A friendship that is taken from you without your permission...a missing piece of a relationship that will never be filled.
Take for instance my dad. My dad was around for about the first year of my life, or so I'm told. I don't ever remember him being there. I don't really remember anything in my life before about age five which is actually quite a blessing I think. Well, my dad tried on and off throughout the years to be involved in my life in his minimalistic way. He would call and have me over for a couple of hours and then return me to my grandparents' house.
We didn't really develop anything closer than that until I was married actually. He calls me fairly frequently now. He often calls to tell me his troubles and sometimes get advice. I appreciate the effort he makes to be a part of my life. I don't think he had the greatest example of a father himself growing up and he openly admits that. The point is that he's trying now, in the best way he knows how, to be in my life.
This ties back into my first question--mourning the loss of something you'll never have--because I never had a dad. I had a grandpa who served in that capacity, but that doesn't mean that I don't need a dad because I have a grandpa. It would be like saying because I have my grandma, I don't need my mom.
I have reached a point in my life where I have to recognize that I will never have a dad. I don't call my biological father dad because I don't think I ever saw him fulfill that role in my life. I don't know that the love he feels for me is that of a father for a daughter. I know that he feels closer to his other kids than me and that's fine. I don't begrudge them their relationship with him. I'm glad he got a second chance to try and be a dad.
How do you fill those holes in your heart? How do you move past that desire to make things how they should be and accept someone else's right to hurt you? How do you look at them and feel such sadness and let it go and hope for better?
I wish I could explain this to her. I wish I could make her see how she makes me feel. She doesn't even know me.
Monday, October 29, 2007
7 Things You Never Knew You Wanted to Know
So, I was tagged by my friend Julie... Apparently I'm supposed to come up with seven tidbits of information about myself that you didn't know. I don't know how interesting this is going to be since I think I'm pretty open. We'll see... Also, I'm supposed to tag seven of you faithful readers out there, so make sure you read to the bottom and don't let me down.
1. I exercise five times a week for approximately an hour a day. I don't really love to exercise. I just really love to eat chocolate and hence I have to exercise because I'm still trying to convince myself that I love my current body and don't need to change it. The exercise cancels out the chocolate and maintains my status quo. Though I don't think I like exercising, I really do like the feeling I have after I have conquered a very tough exercise tape though.
2. I have a phobia of large masses of deep water such as the ocean. I need to explain this a little better so you'll understand. I love the ocean, when I'm sitting on the shore. I don't love the idea of being stranded in the middle of the ocean without a boat or a small island. I think that Jaws did in the friendliness of the ocean for me. I mean, how deep is the ocean exactly? You don't know do you! Neither do I!!! Just stay away that's my motto. They have fish down there that they've only recently discovered because of the depth they live. Come on, that's freaky.
3. I love 80s music. Ahhh yes, Madonna, Michael Jackson, George Michael and Whitney Houston--the early years, the Pointer Sisters, Milli Vanilli, the Cars, Tiffany, Erasure, lots of other one hit wonder groups whose names you probably wouldn't recognize except for that one song you've heard.
4. I like the driver's seat. I realize that many women like to be the passenger, but I don't. I like to drive the car, no matter where or for how long. There are a couple reasons for this--I'm a control freak is one of them. The other is that my husband's driving scares me sometimes. He's definitely a better driver than some of the other people I've had drive me around while I've sat in the backseat, but I just try and close my eyes and pray a lot.
5. I was accepted to go to law school, but met my husband in the meantime. I chose not to go and haven't ever regretted it!
6. I had a roommate with an eating disorder my freshman year of BYU. She started out anorexic and changed into bulimic. She had some major issues. She stole checks from other roommates and went to eat at McDonald's. Imagine how much $34 at McDonald's will buy one person in one sitting. She would throw up in our shower and our sink and not wash it down the drain. She needed some real help.
7. I dated the same guy from the time I was 16 till I was 20. He was NOT the man I married.
Phew...I don't think any of these items is all that interesting, but that's all I've got to offer. You all could start up a collection and fund an exotic cruise for me to go on and then I'll happily write something interesting. Don't worry, my phobia about the water won't stop me from going on a cruise. It's just the idea of the water that scares me. If that ship sinks though, I'll probably die from a heartattack before the water ever gets to me. I don't want any of those crazy fish eating me!
Okay, I tag: Kjirsti, Kelli, Sherri, Tina, Rischel, Annie & Heather.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Yard Work--not for the pure in heart!
Derek and I spent the day preparing our yard to plant our winter grass. Yep--that's right, winter grass. In Arizona you have two seasons for grass and every winter you have to replant. So, we decided to do it today.
In preparation for planting the grass, I went to Home Depot to get us a rake. I found one that I thought would do an awesome job. Unfortunately, it did. It did too good of a job in fact and you couldn't rake more than two feet without breaking out in a sweat because the prongs grabbed the grass so deeply. So...Derek sent me back to Home Depot to get another rake and he also asked me to get a shovel and a file to sharpen it.
A few side notes here: I did not know until last week that a shovel had to be sharpened. Also, Wal-Mart used to be the establishment that ate up most of our money, but Home Depot is quickly taking on that title.
Anyway, I find the rake and the shovel no problem, but I didn't know where to find the file. Since their motto is: "You can do it. We can help," I went in search of a helpful sales associate. The guy took me to the files, picked one out and handed it to me.
The following conversation ensued:
Me: "Is this the right file?" (There were several lengths of files to choose from.)
Him: "Yes. This should be fine for what you need."
At this point I look down at the package to read it and am startled to see what must be a typo. I point to the word and say to the salesclerk
Me: "What is this about?"
He looks at the word and gets this embarassed look on his face and says, "Oh...that's not what you think it is..." Though he couldn't explain exactly what it was though.
For all you file masters out there, you must know what I'm talking about. For you file novices such as myself I'll enlighten you. The box said "Bas*ard." What? Yes. You read that correctly. I know you're not going to believe me, so you'll just have to go to Home Depot and see for yourself. You can also click here and type in the abovementioned word and see that I'm telling the truth.
Now, I didn't even realize till I was about 18 that there are "male" and "female" parts to objects such as outlets. When I first heard it, I thought the guy was just trying to be funny. Nope. He was serious.
Last month when my husband and I were making a list of what items we'd need to buy for yard care, my husband said he'd need a hoe. Of course, you can probably imagine what kind of comments that lead to. I told him that he could have one, but I better never find it in our home and he better keep it outside, etc.
I'm starting to really wonder how much more home improvement or gardening I can be involved in and keep a clean mind.
In preparation for planting the grass, I went to Home Depot to get us a rake. I found one that I thought would do an awesome job. Unfortunately, it did. It did too good of a job in fact and you couldn't rake more than two feet without breaking out in a sweat because the prongs grabbed the grass so deeply. So...Derek sent me back to Home Depot to get another rake and he also asked me to get a shovel and a file to sharpen it.A few side notes here: I did not know until last week that a shovel had to be sharpened. Also, Wal-Mart used to be the establishment that ate up most of our money, but Home Depot is quickly taking on that title.
Anyway, I find the rake and the shovel no problem, but I didn't know where to find the file. Since their motto is: "You can do it. We can help," I went in search of a helpful sales associate. The guy took me to the files, picked one out and handed it to me.
The following conversation ensued:
Me: "Is this the right file?" (There were several lengths of files to choose from.)
Him: "Yes. This should be fine for what you need."
At this point I look down at the package to read it and am startled to see what must be a typo. I point to the word and say to the salesclerk
Me: "What is this about?"
He looks at the word and gets this embarassed look on his face and says, "Oh...that's not what you think it is..." Though he couldn't explain exactly what it was though.
For all you file masters out there, you must know what I'm talking about. For you file novices such as myself I'll enlighten you. The box said "Bas*ard." What? Yes. You read that correctly. I know you're not going to believe me, so you'll just have to go to Home Depot and see for yourself. You can also click here and type in the abovementioned word and see that I'm telling the truth.Now, I didn't even realize till I was about 18 that there are "male" and "female" parts to objects such as outlets. When I first heard it, I thought the guy was just trying to be funny. Nope. He was serious.
Last month when my husband and I were making a list of what items we'd need to buy for yard care, my husband said he'd need a hoe. Of course, you can probably imagine what kind of comments that lead to. I told him that he could have one, but I better never find it in our home and he better keep it outside, etc.I'm starting to really wonder how much more home improvement or gardening I can be involved in and keep a clean mind.
And, since we're on the subject, I have to tell you about the conversation Ryanna and I had a couple days ago when I gave her and Owen a bath.
Ryanna: "Mom, what is that?" pointing to Owen's male anatomy
Me: "What?" hoping she is not pointing to his male anatomy
Ryanna: "That!" pointing to Owen's male anatomy
Me: "That's Owen's private boy parts."
Ryanna: "But what is it called?"
Me: "That's his pe___" (I'm not going to type the word out hoping to avoid somehow causing a bunch of weirdos to accidentally link to my blog.)
Ryanna: "Oh! His peanuts."
I'm still laughing...
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