MY Idea of Black Friday

So, I didn't get up early to go to all the "doorbuster" sales this morning. I'm sorry, but 4 am? I am up at that time often these days, but it's with a nursing baby, not with piles of merchandise in my hands.
Seriously, why do these stores do this to themselves? I had never participated in these sales before last year. We live across the street from a Kohl's and they had some items I wanted, so I decided to go see what I could get. When I walked in and saw the line of people, I thought that they must be waiting in line for something other than to check out. Surely that was it. Then I walked through the store and the two lines cross each other. What is this?
Needless to say, I shopped for about an hour and waited in line for over three hours. THREE HOURS!!! I am happy to say that one of those items was my Hoover Floormate that cleans my wood floors and saves me a lot of work, but it was still a ridiculous wait for that price.
My idea of Black Friday? Trust me, someone out there is going to read this and someday you'll see something like this soon.
Rules for MY Black Friday:
1. If you show up before 11 in the morning, you pay double for your items.
2. You can choose to peruse through the store for your items, or for a small fee you can have a personal shopper locate all of your items while you kick back and get a pedicure, massage or sip a smoothie (or hot chocolate)!
3. The sale prices remain the same all day and you can get a raincheck if we run out of what you want.
4. You can bring your husband and he can sit in our football/basketball (HUGE flatscreen) relaxation room.
5. Bring your kids too, there's free babysitting!
6. Last, but not least, the sales associates would be friendly and knowledgable. (Okay maybe this one is the most unrealistic of all).
Trust me, this is the store of the future. I'd shop there for sure!