Tuesday, September 18, 2007

"They" Are Ruining My Life!!!

I used to complain to my husband on a pretty much weekly basis about how our little rental was going to drive me bananas because it was too tiny for our needs and we were running out of space and I was going to lose it if we didn't move. So, now we've moved. The place where we live now is significantly larger than our old place and now I have a different gripe.

My father-in-law is known for saying "They are ruining my life!" Who are they? That's the mystery. It starts when your child is old enough to recognize the discrepancies between your parenting and her friends' parents. She'll say, "They always get to go to McDonald's." As you age, you find "they" are always around doing the things you wished you were doing. "They" always wear the nicest clothes, drive nicer cars, eat at nicer places, look better, etc., etc.

I've discovered the "they" that is ruining my life and it goes by the following names: Pottery Barn, IKEA and Crate & Barrel. Maybe some of you get catalogs from these companies like I do. I am always excited to see what new designs are out and what color schemes I would love to duplicate if I had endless amounts of cash on hand. The bedroom pages don't bother me, it's the rest of the house that starts causing my paranoia.

Let me tell you what these photos do to me:
  1. I start thinking that my counter tops should not have any scraps of paper or spare parts or stray items.
  2. I begin to think that I own too many items to ever accomplish this design and begin to hunt through my stuff for items to throw away, give away or destroy.
  3. I start to get rid of some pan I haven't used in a couple of years and then realize that I may need said pan in a couple of months for a certain recipe I have that I haven't yet made because I don't have the room to store all the ingredients needed to make the recipe.
  4. I put back the pan and turn around to see my living room which doesn't have matching wood accessories. That's when the panic starts...
  5. I run from room to room searching for cleanliness and order and trying to ignore the mismatching items.
  6. I find the catalog that ruined my day and light it on fire.
Okay, so I don't really light the catalog on fire, but I do go through the other discouraging steps. Why hasn't someone started a revolution with design and gone for something called, "Goodwill Couture for Kitchens" or something along those lines? In the house I grew up in, I only recall the couches matching. Now it seems that there's a whole movement to make us feel insecure about our homes unless they look as though they were designed by someone.
Would I love for my house to look like no one ever lived there? Ironically, yes. Isn't that crazy to want to accomplish a design that isn't real? Have you ever noticed that the pictures with the bookshelves always look so pretty and nearly empty? Honey, if I'm buying a bookshelf it's because I own a lot of BOOKS! Not because I like to see bare wood that would require dusting in about a week's time if there weren't books covering it up!
So, one day, maybe if I'm lucky, you'll be able to come over to my house and think, "Gosh, does anyone live here?" Then you'll know that I'm living the Pottery Barn/IKEA/Crate & Barrel life. Until then, just pick up those dozens of DVDS Owen has strewn around the floor, ignore the piles of papers on my counter tops and desks and if you want to, borrow one of my hundreds of books, so I can make room for some more that are hidden in boxes.

10 comments:

Tina said...

All I have to say is: Amen, sister.

brooke said...

Wow Tina stole the words out of my mouth. Seriously I was just going to say Amen!

That's what I get for watching that video you have on here. Which by the way is hilarious! Amazing as well. I have mastered the bunny and that's it!

I am having a blast buying magazines and decorating my home (wish I had a little bit more artistic decorating genes in my blood. . .) but some days I feel like all I do is clean, pick up toys, and clean some more, just to start over the next day. Okay not some days ALL days!

I want to get pictures of my house up, but never clean enough to do so! Like right now, my living room has cranium cards strewn about, not only thanks to Isaac, but Ainsley as well!

Being a mom is a tough job. Is there anything wrong with wanting my kids to have fun and yet having a beautiful home?!! Here's to wishing.

Actually I need to be 100% honest. There are only parts of my home I want to look unlived in (the kitchen being one of those places). I enjoy watching my children play and make messes, and then cleaning them up together. Fun times!

Lacey said...

I can only imagine how overwhelmed you are feeling!! Those magazines are the devil!

I would say my main goal in our future home will be a place that's clean and comfortable, where we have room for friends to have dinner with us, and my kids want to hang out and are proud to bring their friends home to.

I think your home is just that!! Even if you have a pile of "to go to Goodwill" in your front room!

Crazymamaof6 said...

ok i am so feelin' you on this ! i hadn't realized it before that it was all my beloved catalogs doing it to me. making me unsatisfied with my reality.

and maybe going to my bunko friends houses that are gorgeous, and you wonder where are the kid things? do they own any toys? do kids really live here?

wow on the catalog thing i realized a long time ago when i looked at skinny catalogs i was unsatisfied with myself. now i see how easy it is to feel unsatisfied with my home from magazines and catalogs that show the ideal but have no basis in reality. and along those lines , if i had a fabulous decorator home i would be the biggest screaming Meany just becuase there is no way my kids would not ruin something every other day! nail polish on the vanity would probably kill me. and yet at this point in my house, oh well. it'll come off with nail polish remover when i get around to it.

JenW said...

the evil "they" it's insidious and it can crop up everywhere...in the form of "their house is better than mine" " i bet their baby doesn't scream her head off after she eats" and "that girl lost all her pregnancy weight like 5 minutes after leaving the delivery room" crazy...just be happy with ourselves right? i love your house audrey...everything i have is a serious work in progress and that's how it should be i think.

burn the mags.

Heather said...

Its kind of nice being in a small apartment again and everyone you know is poor and in a tiny place. I don't feel that pressure nearly as much!

Lara said...

I think we all feel this way. I'm always feeling like my stuff is just not good enough. :)

BUT, I think you should stop subscribing to those catalogs. And start getting magazines like Cottage Living and all the shabby chic stuff, because they mismatch woods all the time and clutter is cool. :)

Ryan & Rischel said...

Audrey,
Understand completely. Those are my moms famous lines to me. "Rischel, I don't mind if people see my home and that someone is living here"
Sometimes I think I am a little too obsessed with Pottery barn. But hey, I can't change my taste in decorating. Cute pictures from the game

bloggingchristy said...

Do you know what my big problem with the whole decorating/furniture industry? It's that as soon as I spent a bizillion dollars making my house "in style" the styles would change and I would STILL be out of style and now broke. I think burning those magazine is a wonderful idea!

Kelli said...

Then the stinger is...."they" tell you that this look can be achieved in a 950 square foot loft. BARF!