"They" Are Ruining My Life!!!

I used to complain to my husband on a pretty much weekly basis about how our little rental was going to drive me bananas because it was too tiny for our needs and we were running out of space and I was going to lose it if we didn't move. So, now we've moved. The place where we live now is significantly larger than our old place and now I have a different gripe.

My father-in-law is known for saying "They are ruining my life!" Who are they? That's the mystery. It starts when your child is old enough to recognize the discrepancies between your parenting and her friends' parents. She'll say, "They always get to go to McDonald's." As you age, you find "they" are always around doing the things you wished you were doing. "They" always wear the nicest clothes, drive nicer cars, eat at nicer places, look better, etc., etc.

I've discovered the "they" that is ruining my life and it goes by the following names: Pottery Barn, IKEA and Crate & Barrel. Maybe some of you get catalogs from these companies like I do. I am always excited to see what new designs are out and what color schemes I would love to duplicate if I had endless amounts of cash on hand. The bedroom pages don't bother me, it's the rest of the house that starts causing my paranoia.

Let me tell you what these photos do to me:

1. I start thinking that my counter tops should not have any scraps of paper or spare parts or stray items.
2. I begin to think that I own too many items to ever accomplish this design and begin to hunt through my stuff for items to throw away, give away or destroy.
3. I start to get rid of some pan I haven't used in a couple of years and then realize that I may need said pan in a couple of months for a certain recipe I have that I haven't yet made because I don't have the room to store all the ingredients needed to make the recipe.
4. I put back the pan and turn around to see my living room which doesn't have matching wood accessories. That's when the panic starts...
5. I run from room to room searching for cleanliness and order and trying to ignore the mismatching items.
6. I find the catalog that ruined my day and light it on fire.

Okay, so I don't really light the catalog on fire, but I do go through the other discouraging steps. Why hasn't someone started a revolution with design and gone for something called, "Goodwill Couture for Kitchens" or something along those lines? In the house I grew up in, I only recall the couches matching. Now it seems that there's a whole movement to make us feel insecure about our homes unless they look as though they were designed by someone.
Would I love for my house to look like no one ever lived there? Ironically, yes. Isn't that crazy to want to accomplish a design that isn't real? Have you ever noticed that the pictures with the bookshelves always look so pretty and nearly empty? Honey, if I'm buying a bookshelf it's because I own a lot of BOOKS! Not because I like to see bare wood that would require dusting in about a week's time if there weren't books covering it up!
So, one day, maybe if I'm lucky, you'll be able to come over to my house and think, "Gosh, does anyone live here?" Then you'll know that I'm living the Pottery Barn/IKEA/Crate & Barrel life. Until then, just pick up those dozens of DVDS Owen has strewn around the floor, ignore the piles of papers on my counter tops and desks and if you want to, borrow one of my hundreds of books, so I can make room for some more that are hidden in boxes.