Yard Work--not for the pure in heart!

Derek and I spent the day preparing our yard to plant our winter grass. Yep--that's right, winter grass. In Arizona you have two seasons for grass and every winter you have to replant. So, we decided to do it today.


In preparation for planting the grass, I went to Home Depot to get us a rake. I found one that I thought would do an awesome job. Unfortunately, it did. It did too good of a job in fact and you couldn't rake more than two feet without breaking out in a sweat because the prongs grabbed the grass so deeply. So...Derek sent me back to Home Depot to get another rake and he also asked me to get a shovel and a file to sharpen it.


A few side notes here: I did not know until last week that a shovel had to be sharpened. Also, Wal-Mart used to be the establishment that ate up most of our money, but Home Depot is quickly taking on that title.

Anyway, I find the rake and the shovel no problem, but I didn't know where to find the file. Since their motto is: "You can do it. We can help," I went in search of a helpful sales associate. The guy took me to the files, picked one out and handed it to me.

The following conversation ensued:

Me: "Is this the right file?" (There were several lengths of files to choose from.)

Him: "Yes. This should be fine for what you need."

At this point I look down at the package to read it and am startled to see what must be a typo. I point to the word and say to the salesclerk

Me: "What is this about?"

He looks at the word and gets this embarassed look on his face and says, "Oh...that's not what you think it is..." Though he couldn't explain exactly what it was though.
For all you file masters out there, you must know what I'm talking about. For you file novices such as myself I'll enlighten you. The box said "Bas*ard." What? Yes. You read that correctly. I know you're not going to believe me, so you'll just have to go to Home Depot and see for yourself. You can also click here and type in the abovementioned word and see that I'm telling the truth.


Now, I didn't even realize till I was about 18 that there are "male" and "female" parts to objects such as outlets. When I first heard it, I thought the guy was just trying to be funny. Nope. He was serious.
Last month when my husband and I were making a list of what items we'd need to buy for yard care, my husband said he'd need a hoe. Of course, you can probably imagine what kind of comments that lead to. I told him that he could have one, but I better never find it in our home and he better keep it outside, etc.


I'm starting to really wonder how much more home improvement or gardening I can be involved in and keep a clean mind.

And, since we're on the subject, I have to tell you about the conversation Ryanna and I had a couple days ago when I gave her and Owen a bath.

Ryanna: "Mom, what is that?" pointing to Owen's male anatomy

Me: "What?" hoping she is not pointing to his male anatomy

Ryanna: "That!" pointing to Owen's male anatomy

Me: "That's Owen's private boy parts."

Ryanna: "But what is it called?"

Me: "That's his pe___" (I'm not going to type the word out hoping to avoid somehow causing a bunch of weirdos to accidentally link to my blog.)

Ryanna: "Oh! His peanuts."

I'm still laughing...