Friends, Food, Fun

Do you remember hearing this slogan a while back? (see title) I think that it hits the nail on the head so to speak.
Honestly, yesterday I was having a crummy day as per my post. Don't we all have those days where we deeply ponder the unfairnesses that life has presented us and worry that it will never be right? I get in those funks sometimes...luckily for me, I have a wonderful husband who is so much wiser than I am. I also have such wonderful family members (Kell & Don) who take the time to tell me they love me and appreciate me. I'm sorry I posted when I was having a down moment, I hope you won't all think I'm ridiculous. Thanks for your support though, it really lifted my spirits.
Last week some of my girlfriends and I got together to do a craft project. One of my closest friends, Alacey, is incredibly creative and talented and so she volunteered to help us do a fun fall project. We tried for several weeks to establish a night we could all get together sans kids to make it happen. We literally could not find one single night that all of us women could meet. Finally, we decided to do it with the kids around.
It was chaotic, it took longer than it would've taken without the kids, my house was a mess, but more than any of those things--it was fun. After we had finished our little projects, we all started feeling the munchies. Alacey said, "I think we should go to Barro's for lunch." She didn't have to say it twice and we had all grabbed our kids and were out the door. For those of you not familiar with Barro's--it's a local pizza chain that has a kids' area with a huge TV which plays Disney movies, a play kitchen with tons of food items (even milk cartons that look real--huh Jen?) and a little house and car to play with. Oh yeah, the pizza is delicious too.
After we had devoured the pizza and we were rounding up the kids to head home, I had such a content feeling. Friendships do that don't they? A good chat with a close friend is akin to a good accomplishment--you just feel so satisfied when you've taken the time to do it well.
Today I had a group of girlfriends and their kids over again. It too brightened my spirits. It's just so nice to forget yourself for awhile and just play with friends. It's also refreshing to have a good night's sleep. Amazing how waking up in the morning and thinking about the blank slate of a new day will help you to keep your issues in perspective.
Though I may not have everything I need, or I think I need, I do have so much more than most. I have wonderful friends and I am grateful for them.

What makes you sad?

Have you ever mourned the loss of something you never had? Something you recognized other people had and you envied, but try as you might, you would probably never have it in your life? I'm not talking about something superficial like a nice car or house or killer body, I'm talking something deeper like a relationship with a family member or close friend.
I don't think I would describe it as envy or jealousy of other people because I certainly don't begrudge anyone their happiness. I would love for everyone to be happy. I'm talking about something that's perhaps out of your control...A friendship that is taken from you without your permission...a missing piece of a relationship that will never be filled.
Take for instance my dad. My dad was around for about the first year of my life, or so I'm told. I don't ever remember him being there. I don't really remember anything in my life before about age five which is actually quite a blessing I think. Well, my dad tried on and off throughout the years to be involved in my life in his minimalistic way. He would call and have me over for a couple of hours and then return me to my grandparents' house.
We didn't really develop anything closer than that until I was married actually. He calls me fairly frequently now. He often calls to tell me his troubles and sometimes get advice. I appreciate the effort he makes to be a part of my life. I don't think he had the greatest example of a father himself growing up and he openly admits that. The point is that he's trying now, in the best way he knows how, to be in my life.
This ties back into my first question--mourning the loss of something you'll never have--because I never had a dad. I had a grandpa who served in that capacity, but that doesn't mean that I don't need a dad because I have a grandpa. It would be like saying because I have my grandma, I don't need my mom.
I have reached a point in my life where I have to recognize that I will never have a dad. I don't call my biological father dad because I don't think I ever saw him fulfill that role in my life. I don't know that the love he feels for me is that of a father for a daughter. I know that he feels closer to his other kids than me and that's fine. I don't begrudge them their relationship with him. I'm glad he got a second chance to try and be a dad.
How do you fill those holes in your heart? How do you move past that desire to make things how they should be and accept someone else's right to hurt you? How do you look at them and feel such sadness and let it go and hope for better?
I wish I could explain this to her. I wish I could make her see how she makes me feel. She doesn't even know me.

7 Things You Never Knew You Wanted to Know

So, I was tagged by my friend Julie... Apparently I'm supposed to come up with seven tidbits of information about myself that you didn't know. I don't know how interesting this is going to be since I think I'm pretty open. We'll see... Also, I'm supposed to tag seven of you faithful readers out there, so make sure you read to the bottom and don't let me down.

1. I exercise five times a week for approximately an hour a day. I don't really love to exercise. I just really love to eat chocolate and hence I have to exercise because I'm still trying to convince myself that I love my current body and don't need to change it. The exercise cancels out the chocolate and maintains my status quo. Though I don't think I like exercising, I really do like the feeling I have after I have conquered a very tough exercise tape though.

2. I have a phobia of large masses of deep water such as the ocean. I need to explain this a little better so you'll understand. I love the ocean, when I'm sitting on the shore. I don't love the idea of being stranded in the middle of the ocean without a boat or a small island. I think that Jaws did in the friendliness of the ocean for me. I mean, how deep is the ocean exactly? You don't know do you! Neither do I!!! Just stay away that's my motto. They have fish down there that they've only recently discovered because of the depth they live. Come on, that's freaky.

3. I love 80s music. Ahhh yes, Madonna, Michael Jackson, George Michael and Whitney Houston--the early years, the Pointer Sisters, Milli Vanilli, the Cars, Tiffany, Erasure, lots of other one hit wonder groups whose names you probably wouldn't recognize except for that one song you've heard.

4. I like the driver's seat. I realize that many women like to be the passenger, but I don't. I like to drive the car, no matter where or for how long. There are a couple reasons for this--I'm a control freak is one of them. The other is that my husband's driving scares me sometimes. He's definitely a better driver than some of the other people I've had drive me around while I've sat in the backseat, but I just try and close my eyes and pray a lot.

5. I was accepted to go to law school, but met my husband in the meantime. I chose not to go and haven't ever regretted it!

6. I had a roommate with an eating disorder my freshman year of BYU. She started out anorexic and changed into bulimic. She had some major issues. She stole checks from other roommates and went to eat at McDonald's. Imagine how much $34 at McDonald's will buy one person in one sitting. She would throw up in our shower and our sink and not wash it down the drain. She needed some real help.

7. I dated the same guy from the time I was 16 till I was 20. He was NOT the man I married.

Phew...I don't think any of these items is all that interesting, but that's all I've got to offer. You all could start up a collection and fund an exotic cruise for me to go on and then I'll happily write something interesting. Don't worry, my phobia about the water won't stop me from going on a cruise. It's just the idea of the water that scares me. If that ship sinks though, I'll probably die from a heartattack before the water ever gets to me. I don't want any of those crazy fish eating me!

Okay, I tag: Kjirsti, Kelli, Sherri, Tina, Rischel, Annie & Heather.

Yard Work--not for the pure in heart!

Derek and I spent the day preparing our yard to plant our winter grass. Yep--that's right, winter grass. In Arizona you have two seasons for grass and every winter you have to replant. So, we decided to do it today.


In preparation for planting the grass, I went to Home Depot to get us a rake. I found one that I thought would do an awesome job. Unfortunately, it did. It did too good of a job in fact and you couldn't rake more than two feet without breaking out in a sweat because the prongs grabbed the grass so deeply. So...Derek sent me back to Home Depot to get another rake and he also asked me to get a shovel and a file to sharpen it.


A few side notes here: I did not know until last week that a shovel had to be sharpened. Also, Wal-Mart used to be the establishment that ate up most of our money, but Home Depot is quickly taking on that title.

Anyway, I find the rake and the shovel no problem, but I didn't know where to find the file. Since their motto is: "You can do it. We can help," I went in search of a helpful sales associate. The guy took me to the files, picked one out and handed it to me.

The following conversation ensued:

Me: "Is this the right file?" (There were several lengths of files to choose from.)

Him: "Yes. This should be fine for what you need."

At this point I look down at the package to read it and am startled to see what must be a typo. I point to the word and say to the salesclerk

Me: "What is this about?"

He looks at the word and gets this embarassed look on his face and says, "Oh...that's not what you think it is..." Though he couldn't explain exactly what it was though.
For all you file masters out there, you must know what I'm talking about. For you file novices such as myself I'll enlighten you. The box said "Bas*ard." What? Yes. You read that correctly. I know you're not going to believe me, so you'll just have to go to Home Depot and see for yourself. You can also click here and type in the abovementioned word and see that I'm telling the truth.


Now, I didn't even realize till I was about 18 that there are "male" and "female" parts to objects such as outlets. When I first heard it, I thought the guy was just trying to be funny. Nope. He was serious.
Last month when my husband and I were making a list of what items we'd need to buy for yard care, my husband said he'd need a hoe. Of course, you can probably imagine what kind of comments that lead to. I told him that he could have one, but I better never find it in our home and he better keep it outside, etc.


I'm starting to really wonder how much more home improvement or gardening I can be involved in and keep a clean mind.

And, since we're on the subject, I have to tell you about the conversation Ryanna and I had a couple days ago when I gave her and Owen a bath.

Ryanna: "Mom, what is that?" pointing to Owen's male anatomy

Me: "What?" hoping she is not pointing to his male anatomy

Ryanna: "That!" pointing to Owen's male anatomy

Me: "That's Owen's private boy parts."

Ryanna: "But what is it called?"

Me: "That's his pe___" (I'm not going to type the word out hoping to avoid somehow causing a bunch of weirdos to accidentally link to my blog.)

Ryanna: "Oh! His peanuts."

I'm still laughing...

I Keep On Fallin'...

So, I can't help myself. I didn't know what it would be like to have a second child. I was honestly a bit worried being raised as an only child, though I have lots of siblings. I love Ryanna so deeply that I questioned how it would be possible to love another child as much. Could it be done? Well, I can attest that it can...it is being done...each and every day I think I fall more in love with my little boy.

He's doing the cutest things lately. Just this week he started holding both of his arms in front of him when he wants me to hold him. So cute! Even when he's doing something naughty, it's so cute. For instance, when he's done eating whatever I have placed on his tray, what does he do? He picks it up one piece at a time and in a very calm manner drops each piece on the floor. When I look him in the eye and say, "No." He looks very calmly back at me and picks up another piece and repeats the process, all the while thinking, "Dear woman, if I wanted to eat this, I would. I am simply done. Please remove the food or I'll do it for you. Look. I'm showing you how."

I bought him some jammies the other day and put them on him tonight and he just looked adorable, so I couldn't help but take several shots of him. Don't worry...there's only nine pictures for you to browse through.

How do you teach this?

Ryanna had her third violin concert in her life Saturday. I was really excited for her because she has progressed so much in her abilities the last couple of months. We took the summer off because her teacher was gone and we were terrible about practicing...pretty much didn't practice to be honest, but boy did we have good intentions. I didn't know how it would be starting up again this August and I have been pleasantly surprised by her improvements in so many areas--bow hold, fingering, speed, etc. There is a lot to think about when you play a violin.

I signed her up to do this concert at one of the group lessons she takes every other Saturday. They have children of all ages and abilities that perform. Ryanna's teacher, Mrs. Bowling, had decided that it would be good for Ryanna to play the theme to Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. I agreed, she had really grasped the song well. Seriously, she's been able to play this song without any errors for several weeks. I was really excited about the concert.

A brief history about Ryanna's violin concerts...She was always a bit shaky on the songs she was going to perform before the past two recitals. I never knew how she would do. I was always excited and anxious for her. She apparently has the ability to rise to the occassion and do well. With this history in mind, I knew she was going to rock this concert. She was so prepared.

Imagine my surprise when she got lost playing her song on Saturday. Here she was the first performer (she always is because she's always the youngest person playing the easiest song) and she started the song beautifully. I was really pleased and all of a sudden, she forgot to repeat the middle section. Oh no! I was worried for only a split second because not only does she rise to the challenge of these pressure filled events, but she is very good at finding her place in the music if she misses a note.

Well, this time she didn't. She wasn't able to find that note right away like she's so talented at doing. She wasn't able to act as though she slightly missed it. She got lost. She did eventually pick up with her teacher and finish the performance. She bowed...(I love her bows) and everyone clapped of course.

Honestly, I felt badly for her. She KNOWS this song better than any other song she's ever done before. We've practiced this song over and over. Not to the point where it's obnoxious because she knows it so well there has been no need. I couldn't help but wish it had been perfect. I wanted her to shine on her special day. Her grandma drove down from Colorado and we even had some good friends, Jack & Annie & their little girl, come and watch.

After the performance she went and sat down to finish listening to all the other performers. She didn't cry or seem distressed at all. After the concert finished, she came up to me and I told her good job, but I couldn't help but ask her what had happened. She didn't seem to know exactly herself.

We went to get gelatto afterward and had a good time as a family celebrating her performance. She had done the best she could after all.

I just wonder, how do you teach your child to strive for their best and be slightly disappointed that they didn't reach it and want to do even better next time? How do you do it without making them feel like they aren't good enough? How do you let them know that they are so perfect to you in every way, but you want them to reach their full potential, but not heap so much pressure on them that they always feel inadequate?

I struggle with this because I know I have felt this way. I know my potential in different areas and I know that I'm not reaching it all the time. I remember as a child wanting to please eveyone so badly and feeling their disappointment when I wasn't reaching expectations. Honestly, it definitely helped me to excel, but is it good? I don't want to be one of those parents you hear about who are vicariously living their lives through their children. You know those parents on the bleachers who are freaking out about their child missing the shot or the goal or the pass opportunity. That's not me. I want to be encouraging without demanding. I want my child to want for herself to achieve.

When Ryanna and I did a lesson today, we warmed up playing the first four variations that she knows. Then I said, "How about we do the theme now and I'll go get the camera and we can record it?" She said, "Yeah, 'cause I didn't play it right yesterday." My heart kind of sunk when she said that because I wondered, "Did she say that because she recognized it herself or because she could feel my disappointment?"

I realize that I'm imperfect as a parent and I hope that my child can look back and forgive my imperfections as I know I've certainly had to do for my parents. I just want so badly to be a better parent. Isn't that what we all want? To be better than the previous generation? To reach our potential...to feel like we might not have been perfect, but no one could fault us for trying? I think about this all the time. I worry that through my thoughtless words and actions, spoken or performed in haste, I may damage the relationship I have with my children or cause them to lose confidence and trust in me.

I am so proud of her. She is such an amazing child. My gosh, she's playing the violin at four years old!!! I could've never done what she's doing at her age. She's such a great sister to Owen, helper for me, friend to so many. I love her to pieces and I am so proud of my little girl. I hope that she can continue to teach me to be a better parent and remember that we're all works in progress.

(Here is the song from this afternoon. She starts to play the wrong note and catches herself and corrects it. The camera goes crazy a couple of times because I am holding Owen and he was batting the camera. Note: you'll need to turn off the music on the Pumpkin Patch slide show to hear this correctly. If you can't figure out how to do that, you can also view this at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXfu1_Qy7oE)

DEmotivational

My Aunt sent me these funny posters and I thought I'd share some of my favorites with you...

The Pumpkin Patch

Today Ryanna's preschool class had a field trip to The Pumpkin Patch which is located just down the road. It was a great place!!! It only cost $7 for me, Ryanna and Owen to get in and they had tons of activities that were included in the cost: a hay bale maze, decorating a pumpkin, a hay ride, pumpkin smashing to feed the pigs and goats and a bouncy tent. Seriously, a great deal for the money.

Limited Edition

Do you get so excited when you go to the grocery store and they have a new ice cream flavor that sounds absolutely scrumptious? Then you notice the wording on the package: "Limited Edition" and you think: "Oh my, I better buy up everything they have here, 'cause they are only making so much of this stuff." (Oh by the way, most of the blog entries on my blog will involve comments revolving around food. Get used to it. I can tie almost any subject back to food. It's MY blog and that is my obsession and problem. Good thing I don't drink huh?)

Come on, you know you think this when you see that Dreyer's has their Girl Scouts Thin Mint ice cream out. I can not possibly be the only addict...okay, maybe I am. I honestly don't consume as much ice cream as I did growing up, but you may never know that from how much I talk about it.

Now I'm all about the advertiser letting me know that a good thing is only out there in a limited amount, but when I saw this at Costco I had to feel a little bit deceived.

Now, I do realize that Dreyer's chooses to only make so many quarts of that delicious ice cream, but really--are strawberries soon to be on the endangered fruit list? If they are, let me know, I'll freeze them up! Maybe this is why the Prophet is telling us to keep a year's supply. I always thought I'd see this on hamburger or bacon or some animal product...who knew the first casualty of our time would be the Strawberry?

T-shirts in All Their Forms

Last night Derek and I were invited to go to an Arizona State University football game. We were able to get some friends to babysit at the last minute (thanks Chris & Lolly!) and off we went. I didn't know until we got there that our seats would be amazing. By amazing I mean we were on the 50 yard line three rows up. I was telling Derek that lately we have been scoring amazing tickets to games. Now, if only we could find someone who has tickets to the Suns...

I had forgotten how fast, big & athletic the players really are. I had previously only attended BYU football games when I was a student there. Those were such fun games. I sat with my roommates and we had such a great time. We weren't in the student section this time, but the student section was directly next to ours corded off by a long, yellow rope. After being there for only a short while I realized that that rope was probably for my own protection. Those fans are crazy! I think they're mostly crazy because they're drunk. Well, they are college kids trying to impress each other so that comes into play as well.

You'd think that with such amazing seats it would be impossible to be distracted by anything else. Well, you'd be wrong. I am a people watcher. I love to see how people present themselves not just in dress, but in body language and facial expression. I had a really hard time when we were looking at houses when we were deciding where to move because if the house was occupied, all I wanted to do was look at the photos on the wall or try to figure out the person's interests from items in their homes. Honestly, I even looked in their pantries not just to see the size of the pantry, but to see what foods the home owners liked. I know, I'm weird.

So, when I wasn't watching the game and trying very hard to protect my ears from the foul language of the all the fickle "coaches" sitting in the stands, I was being shocked by the way the ASU women present themselves. Now, to be fair, there were some female students there that were dressed very modestly and looked very sweet, but they were in a small minority compared to those girls who were prowling around. These prowlers were wearing ASU T-shirts that they had deconstructed into tube tops, dresses and whatever else they could to barely cover their chests. Seriously, I've never seen such a sight. I did figure out how they do it though:

1. Buy an ASU T-shirt that is already too small for you if it were left completely alone.
2. Rip said T-shirt to where you can tie in around your chest exposing most of your clevage.
3. If you think that style is too "last year" then you can cut slits in the side of the T-shirt causing others to place bets as to how long your shirt will stay together.
4. If styles mentioned on numbers 2 & 3 are too boring for you or you actually want to try a new avenue, you can buy two shirts and make them into a dress. It won't be flattering, but it will be a dress.
5. I also forgot to mention that you must bleach your hair blonde and wear a lot of foundation on your face.
6. You must carry a cell phone with you at all times. If you are not texting on this phone, you must have it stuck to your ear to let everyone know that you're at the game, but you are so popular you could be anywhere with anyone.
7. You need to walk up and down the stairs or in front of the bleachers where the other ASU students are sitting at least 4 times per quarter. Any less and you might be able to watch the game.

Okay, I'm being really judgmental here. I know, I know. I was a crazy college girl once too, but I couldn't help but think while I was there, "We are going home and teaching Ryanna the BYU fight song. We are going to buy all of her clothing in blue, tan and white. We are going to bring up the idea of BYU at least twice a day and mention how excited we'll be when she goes there." It really scared me to think that women are presenting themselves this way. No wonder the men in our society are turning to hard porn, there's soft porn surrounding them daily.

Even sadder is that these girls are dressing this way to attract attention from guys. I had a group of about eight such guys sitting directly behind me during the first half of the game, so I was able to hear their running commentaries on the above-mentioned women. They did think these females were hot no doubt, but with absolutely no respect for them. They called them very unflattering names. They didn't find these girls interesting for any other reason than their bodies. Besides, what kind of a man are you going to attract when you dress that way?

Ryanna would've talked my ear off if she would've been at the game. We had a family home evening lesson on modesty about two months ago and boy she took it to heart. Whenever we're out she lets me know when she seems a woman immodestly dressed. I hear it from her when I do my exercise videos:

Ryanna: "Mom that lady is not dressed modestly."

Me: "I know, that's not good is it."

Ryanna: "No, she should put some modest clothes on."

Me: "Yes, she should."

Now that I've got that out, I feel a lot better. Oh yeah, ASU stomped Washington.

Why Am I Such a Poor City Girl?

My friend and fabulous hair stylist, Brooke, invited me to go to Schnepf Farms with her today. Since the weather appeared to be cooling off lately, I thought it would be fun. Plus, I think it's good for the kids to get out of the house. Anyway...we went to Fry's to buy the tickets for the Farm because they were "discounted" to $12 per person.

Now, you know how they say that similarities between you and your spouse are like money in the bank? Well, Derek and I have lots of money in the bank in this sense. We both try to be very careful with our cash. We only eat out once a week, we don't go shopping very often, we definitely don't buy big purchase items without thinking about them for so long that we usually talk ourselves out of said item. Dear Reader, do not worry, I'm tying this all together.

So, after getting into this dusty "farm" we decide what we want to do first. Hmmm...should we go pay more money to ride the train that goes around the farm? Maybe we should get ripped off by buying lunch at this place. I don't know, why don't I just get a bull horn and broadcast my credit card number to everyone? I know, I'm forgetting the whole purpose of this trip--to go broke! Wait, I mean to have very expensive fun!

Really though, the train was fun and the food was fine, if overly priced as is most food. But what did the kids enjoy the very most? The little park that was just like all the free parks you see built in track neighborhoods and this gigantic FREE slide oh and let's not forget perhaps the most amazing attraction of all--dirt & rocks!!!

Yes, it's just like when you buy your child some big ticket item for a holiday/birthday and what do they love? The item you found at the last second in the dollar bin at Target. I swear, it happens to us over and over.

Before you start calling me Ebenezer, I want to let you know that I wasn't raised this way. My grandparents are all about buying a huge tub of really buttery popcorn with sodas and candy to boot when we go to the movies. They would never dream of sneaking in items. That's a whole other post I swear--do the movie workers not suspect a single thing when you are bringing in a beach bag to the movies? Okay, I'm getting off track. Anyway, my grandparents were uber generous with every activity, no corners were ever cut.

I think that I've learned this from my husband. It's probably a good thing. Have you met my husband? This is a man who would come home from school, after being gone 12 hours and proclaim how hungry he was. Upon further investigation, I would learn that he didn't have time to eat breakfast and forgot to bring lunch, so he didn't eat all day because he didn't want to waste our money to feed him.

Isn't it crazy how you can change over time? Maybe the difference is that I grew up in a small town and even when I was in high school going to the movies was only $5.50 a person. Can you believe that? I don't know...I had a really fun time. I think the kids had fun...Ryanna said she did. I feel good about my day: $24 to get into the place, $8 to split lunch between the three of us, $4 to ride the train, the parking was free, so was a little carnival type ride that didn't work correctly, the tiny petting zoo and the big slide. I mean, the zoo charges you a fortune too. I guess it's capitalism at work.

I feel good about my day and my sunburn, in fact, it probably wasn't that expensive of a day if you figure how long we were there and that my kids had fun. I'm going to have to say that this was money well spent. (Now you can read how deeply this disorder goes when I have to write an entire blog about it and convince myself of my decision.)

You Look Just Like...

I was reading in my Parents magazine the other day about genes and traits that may or may not be hereditary. Do you remember hearing about the determination for baldness was reliant on the mother's father? Well, apparently that's been disproved, giving Owen better odds than he had previously given that my dad is baldish (I think that term is hilarious!!! Our Bishop's wife used it to describe the Bishop the other night.)

We've all seen unexpected traits pop up in the physical features of our children, but what about their personalities or attitudes? My daughter absolutely loves to perform whether playing the violin or giving a talk at church. I always point at my husband and proclaim it came from his genes. My little boy already demands ice cream from me whenever he sees it even though he eats it all the while making a face that proclaims, "This is freezing my tongue!!! Give me MORE!" I have to be the one to claim the preference for sweets. So, how much of this is just my desire to see myself or my husband or our family members in our kids?

According to this article which is citing other recent studies (so mind you this is a watered down version of some crazy, scientific study) it says, "Families tend to have similar facial expressions when they're happy, sad, angry, disgusted, surprised, or thinking hard. And kids don't just pick up these reactions from watching us; Blind members of 21 families in the study also grimaces, smiled, and scowled like their relatives 80 percent of the time."

Another crazy fact cited by the article: "Kids who have a taste gene that's associated with a sensitivity to bitterness are less likely to pick milk as their favorite drink and more likely to love sugary soft drinks and cereals." Ahhhh, so I'm not a sugar addict, I just have a more delicate, refined palate! I KNEW IT!

One more interesting fact for those of you out there determining when to start your children's music lessons: "Most people with perfect pitch started taking music lessons before age 6, and that only 3 percent of people who started voice lessons after age 9 have perfect pitch--suggesting that both genetics and training affect one's singing voice."

I was disappointed for my husband when I read that, "The impact of genes for height can be modified by the foods you eat." Ah-ha! My 5'7" husband was fed the scraps from the table while his 6' tall youngest brother was feasting on roast beef! He'll love having an explanation for why he's the shortest man in his family. Surely food played more of a part in that than the fact that all of his mom's brothers max out at 5'7".

I think this is part of the reason I love to do family history and find out details about these people whose genetics have helped make me who I am. Where did these big lips of mine come from other than my big-lipped mom? What about my mom's crazy, course hair? My fingers that are kinky and won't point straight, what's that about? Wouldn't you love to know?

I think that everyone enjoys playing this game as you always hear people proclaim, "Your daughter/son looks just like you!!!" I can't tell you how many people have told me that my daughter with her dark skin, brown eyes, petite build and brown hair looks just like me with my light skin, green eyes, very blonde hair when I was her age, and medium-large build. Uh, yeah, a perfect match...

I still love to hear the similarities mentioned between me and anyone else though. I think it provides me with a sense of belonging. Really, no matter whether we have our dad's meticulous ability for detail or our mom's big lips we just want to be loved.

Conference, Conference, Conference

Another General Conference down. I really enjoyed what I watched and what I could hear. I'm usually really good at watching an entire conference each day. One of the two conferences each day I normally crash and fall asleep about part way through.

Maybe it's my memories of the time I attended General Conference with my roommates and some friends our freshman year of BYU. One of my roommates was from Utah, and she insisted that we would have to get in line at a horrendous hour if we wanted to get in without having any tickets. Plus, we were young and foolish and it sounded like a lot of fun, so off we went up to Salt Lake City to get in line. Now, when I tell you we got in line at a terrible hour, I mean 2 am. That's right, we never went to sleep the night before and then got in line. My roommates packed a bunch of blankets and I attempted to snooze on cold, hard concrete without much success. We did luck out and get seats in the tabernacle though. Remember, my freshman year was 1996-97, so I'm talking about the OLD tabernacle.

It was really exciting and invigorating to be a part of a live session. However, the adrenaline rush didn't outweigh the effects of dimming the lights to begin the session. The lights dimmed and me and my roommates lasted for a few minutes and then slowly began to fall asleep...in the old tabernacle...where the seats are hard, wooden pews with straight backs. To sum it up, it was one of those experiences that is fun to do once when you're young and foolish. I would never be able to do that now...of course all of my ideas of what I could do now are jaded due to having to think about hauling kids around.

My favorite talk was by Julie B. Beck. She is such an amazing speaker. I love that she feels real, that she seems to be so organized and capable. When she spoke about how important the role of mother is, I couldn't agree more. She spoke, like she did last Saturday, about how important it is that we have children and not be selfish with our lives. I know several couples that have or are currently struggling to have children and I'm sure it's so hard for those women to hear talks like this, but I hope they realize that remarks like this are never meant for them.

I have to say that it was wonderful for her to emphasize that mothering does not mean babysitting. What sort of vested interest does a babysitter have in your child. None. As a mother, you have 100% interest that the child in your care is well fed, well taught, well loved. I watched an Oprah one time where they had working mothers and women who had chosen to stay home with their children. One of the working moms said, "Anyone can read a story to a child." How sad that her perception of a "mom" is someone that is only able to perform menial tasks. As if her mind were too important to waste on instructing her own child.

My husband actually heard another woman speak one time who works well over 40 hours a week as does her husband. Someone asked her if she felt like she was being a good mom given that she didn't get any quality time with her child. She honestly said that she felt like the drive to daycare and the drive home were quality time because she had good conversations with the child. Now, if she HAD to work in order for their family to survive, I would say good for her for trying to make the most of what little time she gets with her child. However, when you CHOOSE to work because you feel like your talents are wasting by being at home I feel badly for your children.

I have been blessed enough to always have the opportunity to stay home. I'm not saying I'm the greatest mom ever either. It was a very hard transition for me to go from working 8-5 to having no defined hours. From leaving my work at the office, to actually, literally living at the office. It was especially frustrating when my first child was a newborn because all she really needed was sleep and food. How easy to convince myself that anyone could do that for her. (I'm not going to go into all the arguments that support how much better breastfeeding is than formula.) Plus, I felt like I was highly appreciated at work where at home this tiny baby never seemed to be aware of my efforts in her behalf.

However, I have to say that having had a full-time job and also having had the opportunity to be a mother, being a mom is hands down the harder option. I think some women choose to go back to work because they actually can't handle the stress of motherhood. Did I get stressed at work? Definitely. Did I worry that I was shaping a future life? Never. Did I have bad days at work that made me want to quit? Definitely. Do I have bad days at home that make me feel like a failure? All the time. The difference is for me, simply this. ANYONE CAN DO WHAT I DID AT A PAYING JOB. NO ONE CAN DO MY JOB IN MY HOME WITH MY KIDS. NO ONE.

Sure, other women are going to be better moms and offer talents that I won't have to offer my children, but if I'm sincere in my attempts to teach and love my children, God is going to bless me. I know it, it has happened. I have seen my child be hurt, sick, happy, elated, surprised, the whole spectrum of emotions. When my child needs something she cries out for me. When my child learned something new for the first time, I was there. I didn't have to hear about it from anyone else.

When we die nothing but the knowledge we've gained and the relationships we've nurtured are going with us. I want my child to know that there wasn't a single job that I thought was tougher than being home with my children because only those tasks which push us to our limits are those activities that provide us with growth and improvement. Nothing was tougher, but nothing was ever so fulfilling. So thank you Sister Beck for recognizing the importance of mothers.

It's Official!!!

Late Friday afternoon, I called Derek to find out when he would be venturing home from work. As we were talking he checked his email and discovered that the results from the bar were up.

Drum roll please......

He passed!!!!!

YAY!!!!

Just so you know I'm not lying, check it out for yourself. Click here.

Am I at Wal-Mart or What?

Yesterday, some of my friends and I brought our kids to the Superstition Springs mall to let them run wild at the play area. It was great because none of the too big to really be playing there kids were there. I also have to provide one side comment and say that the whole day was sooo worth it to me because Owen slept for an hour after we got home!!!! No lie.

After the playing was through, we all ate lunch in the food court and went our separate ways. I was parked in front of Sears and began cruising through to get to the car. Well, I have been wanting to get some new t-shirts, so I stopped and picked some out to try on. After the try-on session, I went out to find a cashier and buy the shirts. I saw a big line at one register and decided I'd try a different part of the store because Owen does not do well just sitting in his stroller. I began walking through the ENTIRE store and could locate only one other cashier whose line was longer than the first. I decided to head back to the first cashier to find her nowhere in sight! I walked through the entire store again to only see the overloaded cashier.

This is the point where all moms decide if the product in hand is worth the screams and wait. For me, I decided it was. So, I jump in line and when the cashier raises her head I ask her what I'm sure everyone else in line is thinking, "Don't they have anyone else who can help you?" She looks at me and says, "You could try over in the women's section." I told her I had and in fact had walked the entire store and she was my only option.

At this point I think she freaked out a little bit because I'm like the fifth person in line and there are no other Sears employees in sight. She whips out one of those magic phones that magnify your voice to sound like a school principal on the intercom and says, "Cashier to men's. Cashier to men's." So, we all stand in line and wait some more, about five minutes with no one coming. Okay, two customers down and Owen is working up to provide a doozy of a fit. She gets on the magic phone again and repeats said phrase with same, dismal results.

Now, I don't like to think I'm a jerk, but I do like to consider myself a woman of action and assertiveness. I have absolutely had it just like my baby. You know, sometimes I even feel vindication when I'm forced to wait due to poor service and I actually enjoy hearing Owen let out a few extra loud yowls before I comfort him. This was not one of those times. I wanted to go. So, another Sears employees saunters casually past the register and I beckon him over and demand, "I want to speak to a manager." He gets a slightly startled look on his face and says, "What about?" I tell him, "This woman has been trying to help all of us for 10 minutes and has called for help (I didn't tell him on the magic phone) twice and not one single person has come to assist her."

I think he could tell from the sound of my voice that I was through with this situation as much as the baby in the stroller was. He got me a manager in less than 30 seconds, no joke. She comes out and I tell her the situation. She begins apologizing immediately and starts ringing me up.

Oh yeah, in the meantime I actually used my mad Spanish skills to help the lady in front of me. My husband would be so proud!!

What I'm wondering here is what is going on? I realize that Sears isn't up there with some of those other stores for the elite, but am I wrong in expecting some modicum of customer service? I mean, when I go to Wal-Mart, I expect poor customer service and I often get it, but I just have to tell myself, "you shop here for the low prices, you shop here for the low prices--and the free cookies they give at the bakery---if you can find an employee!!!)

You know some of those even pricier stores are where the worst customer service is. American Eagle, the Limited, they consistently give me terrible customer service. Then there's stores on the other end of the spectrum where you feel almost violated by over attentive clerks--Bath and Body Works comes to mind. I mean, do I need a basket in a store that sells lotions? How many bottles of lotion do I need?

I'd write more, but I've got to get to Wal-Mart and be ignored.

Do you need a laugh?

Okay, I just breezed through all of your blogs, what's up? Nothing to talk about out there? Come on, I need some reading material. Some of you obliged me, but not enough. So, I'm going to provide you with the seriously funniest blog entry I've ever read. Warning!!! Don't drink while you read this or you'll spit it all over your screen!

For a good laugh click here!!!

Ghost Poem for you to replicate & recipe to share!

Since some of you requested the poem that was left on our doorstep, I'm copying it for you.

The very top of the page is titled: "The Phantom was Here!"

Written inside of a cute ghost it says:

The "Halloween Phantom" has come to town.
To Leave you some goodies I see you've found.

Pass on the phantom next family night.

And watch it spread until Halloween night.

Take 3 treats and notes down the street.
To friends and neighbors who will feast.

Don't let them see you inyour work of surprise.

Leave it with those who've not been phantomized.

Happy Halloween!
We hope you have a great holiday season.

(Don't forget to hang this note on your door or window

So the phantom will know you have already been visited.)

There you have the poem and I also wanted to publish this recipe my cousin left under one of my comments. I have to say that I normally avoid sweet potatoes, you know, don't even take a polite sample, but this recipe changed my mind. Do it for Thanksgiving!!!

Ruth's Chris Sweet Potato Casserole

FOR THE CRUST:

1 cup brown sugar

1/3 cup flour

1 cup chopped nuts (pecans preferred)

1/3 stick butter, melted

FOR THE SWEET POTATO MIXTURE:

3 cups mashed sweet potatoes

1 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 eggs, well beaten

1 stick butter ( 1/2 cup), melted
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Combine brown sugar, flour, nuts and butter in mixing bowl. Set aside.Combine sweet potatoes, sugar, salt, vanilla, eggs and butter in a mixing bowl in the order listed. Mix thoroughly. Pour mixture into buttered baking dish. Sprinkle the surface of the sweet potato mixture evenly with the crust mixture. Bake for 30 minutes. Allow to set at least 30 minutes before serving.

Night of Surprises

So, I am a bit of a family history addict. My mom got me started when I first moved to Arizona. She's had incredible luck and definitely been blessed to find a lot of information that has lead to amazing discoveries. I wanted to do some family history work at the time because I am named after my dad's mom. I thought it would be cool to find out something about her family.

Well, after finding a lot of information about my grandma Audrey, I decided to also trace the Roy line as well. I also hit the jackpot on information there and even attended a Roy family reunion a couple of summers ago. I did reach a point though where I felt stuck.

My grandma did a lot of genealogical research many years ago before the days of the internet. You know, when you had to order in a census and go through every stinkin' page and hope you could read the census taker's handwriting. I thought I would at least enter her information into my computer database and see if I could find anything beyond what she had listed.

Well, I actually found lots and lots. This internet thing, it's amazing!!!! I found old wills and photos and connected with many people who wanted to share loads of helpful information with me. It was all quite exciting. If you haven't done family history work, you won't understand how exciting it all is.

I got a bit obsessed with this one particular branch with the last name of Swick. I felt really strongly that there was information I needed to find. I kept looking through postings on this message board and never located anything connected with my branch, but I still felt like I was missing something. I decided to delve into the siblings of my direct branch and see what information I could locate. Well, after I had flushed out information on the siblings, I went back to the message board and located a message that was directly connected to my family!!!! I contacted the man and bought a photo album full of photos of my great, great, great, great, great aunts and uncles. It was an amazing find. But stilll...

I felt like I was supposed to keep looking. I had the line all the way back to 1809. I just couldn't find anything prior to that because census information before that doesn't have the names of the family members, only the male heads of families and I didn't have any money to hire a researcher. So, I spoke with my Uncle Mickey. He agreed that if I would send him all of the information I had, he would pay for a researcher to find out who was the generation back from where I was stuck.

Last night I received news that through mine, my mom's and my grandma's work as well as the researcher, we found him. His name is Anderew AND we know two more generations past that. Wow!!!! How exciting. If you want to get started, let me know, I'm happy to help. It really is so fun.

Here are a couple of websites that are great for getting started:

http://www.familysearch.org/ (provides a free database where you can begin entering your info)

http://www.rootsweb.com/ (it's free and you can play around with tons of options)

http://www.usgenweb.com/ (is a great free resource once you know location for your ancestors)

The Ghost Got Us!!!

Last night during the ritual of bedtime the doorbell rang. Our doorbell has some issue. It starts out fine and then clunks to a stop. Since neither my husband nor I are very good at such matters, it won't get fixed anytime soon. Anyway, it rang as best as it could. Ryanna jumped up to go and open the door. She's at that age, you know where answering the phone and the door are such exciting events. It's actually a pretty exciting development in my life too since I'm often nursing or tending to something else. It can be a bit of a problem if I don't hear the doorbell first as happened last week. I'm getting way off track here though.

So, she opens the door with me right behind her and waiting at our door is a cute Halloween bag with no one around. You can imagine how exciting this is for a four year old and let's confess a 29 year old woman as well. Owen was excited for a different reason--the front door was open and he's mentally gauging how much of a headstart he has to escape before we grab him. So, we bring the bag in the house and open it to find a big bag of M&M's and a little poem talking about how we needed to post the sign in our window, so we didn't get delivered to again and we needed to copy the poem and surprise three other families next Monday night.

Now, not that I'm an evil person at heart, but I am a bit of a chocolate addict and I'm going to be completely honest here that my first thought was, "Maybe I won't put this sign in my window and see how much chocolate I can score this Halloween season." Ssshhh...don't tell anyone I thought that.

Ryanna said the prayer at breakfast this morning and said, "Thank you for the treat last night. Bless us that we can eat it" or something to that effect since I'm doling out the candies after lunches or dinners or violin practices. Come on, she's got half of my genetics, if I leave her to her own devices she'll eat the whole bag!

(These photos are from making caramel apples Sunday night as a family.)