Stake "Torture" Conference

Our Stake Conference was today. Also known as the dreaded day without Primary or nursery for those of you who speak in LDS terms. It was a double whammy for me because Derek was out of town until this afternoon, so I was going to have to brave it alone.
Imagine it if you will. Let's put it into one of those movie preview voices. You imagine the music in the background while I narrate:
Hold onto your scriptures because here it is, the most anticipated spectacle of the year! One woman...(dramatic music inserted here and flash my face without the stress zit that popped up on my chin the other day) two children under the age of five (more dramatic music and pictures of my kids running)...face the daunting task of: Stake Conference!
They said it couldn't be done... (show pictures of people mocking) this woman barely out of her youth (I'm adding that phrase to make me feel younger here, just go with it okay.) handling these two children during a conference where adults speak for TWO FULL HOURS without stopping!!! (flashes of speakers at the pulpit).
She'd have only one opening hymn, a couple of releases and sustainings and a rest hymn to help her survive (more dramatic music). Was she up to the challenge? Who would come of conquerer--the young mother or her two, fatherless children? Coming to a theater near you!
Well, I'm happy to say that we survived the entire conference and I actually did feel the Spirit while I was there. Our stake president reminds me a lot of my last stake president in his down to earth, let's be real approach which I really like. I was really blessed to have some friends of mine, who don't have any children, come in and sit right behind me and the wife pretty much served as my nanny during the whole thing.
I really do have to wonder about the whole stake conference idea...I think it's a great idea for all of us to come together as a stake, but it's really, really difficult to have your children endure that much sitting for that long. I realize Ryanna is old enough to do okay with a fair amount of coloring books and Benadryl injected straight to her veins. Owen is not able to do it (I can't seem to get the dosage right yet...) and I am not alone in this either as I saw zillions of other parents roaming the halls with their brood trying to keep them quiet. (Before someone turns me into child protective services, I am totally joking about drugging my kids up okay?)
Even harder is the Saturday night session which my husband and I have never attended since we've lived in Arizona. In our last ward, all of our friends had small children like we do, so it wasn't fair to ask them to miss stake conference so we could go. For those with family nearby, it's was no big deal. Frankly, after serving in Young Women's in the prior ward, I don't know that I would've trusted many of the youth to watch our kids.
Seriously, can you imagine the day before microphones? Can't you just see the families? Here's a probable pioneer family discussion in preparation for attending stake conference:

Mother: June!!! Do you have the gunney sack full of treats for young Henry and Eliza?

June: Indeed I do mother. I have packed some of our tastiest smoked jerky and a whole jar of raspberry preserves with a loaf of that wonderful bread that Sis. Pierce brought us a fortnight ago. (I knew I could get the word fortnight in an entry if I wrote enough of these blog things!)

Mother: Bless you June. I think you may also want to grab some sticks and rocks that they can throw at each other to keep them entertained as well.

June: I already thought of that mother. (you'll notice in corny books written in this day and age, the children always say "mother" instead of "mom.")

Mother: I do appreciate your help with all of this. I can only hope that we don't sit next to that noisy Petersen family. They are what I'd call a lively group.

June: Yes, and have you heard? The town's all a flutter with news that her husband has left her to study abroad for a time and she'll have to care for the young things all by herself.

Mother: Well, we can only hope to set a good example for young Sis. Petersen. She does try her hardest after all.

I am still thinking of creating a petition to begin an even earlier nursery than currently exists. You know how they have CTR A and CTR B or they used to anyway. It would be Nursery A. My guidelines would be:
1. Child must be mobile ('cause before that you just have to deal with them--sorry!)
2. No biting allowed (one bite and you're gone, no fair to make other parents hate your kid)
3. Run by responsible married couples without kids (this will serve two purposes: give the parents of the child a break and make the married couple running the nursery realize how much they want a baby or how they are not yet ready to be parents--bonus either way)
All joking aside, I love church even if it is difficult with kids. I know that the only way they will be able to learn to sit quietly is if I keep giving them opportunities to do it. It's just fun to poke a little fun at my own struggle to deal with it. I am grateful though that I have my husband by my side to help out. There are special blessings for all you women that have husbands sitting on the stand.

This is the Halloween that does not end...

So, when I was growing up, each year I celebrated Halloween one time, one day of the year. It seems to me that in everyone's attempts to make Halloween wonderful for our children, Halloween gets done multiple times a year anymore. For instance...
Halloween #1: Our ward's Trunk or Treat where we were able to have chile (I made a really yummy white chile that I took) and hot dogs and drink root beer. The kids walked around and got buckets full of candy at this event as well as winning little prizes at the various booths.
**Sidenote**I do have to ask though, whenever my grandma makes rootbeer, she always puts dry ice in, to keep it cold and probably for entertainment value as well. This rootbeer was that "left on the counter too long to be good and cool" temperature. Doesn't homemade rootbeer need dry ice or is that one of those myths that I've created from my upbringing? I'm looking to find out if I'm abnormal or do the rest of you do dry ice too?
Halloween #2: Ryanna's pre-school did a small little Halloween where we moms each did a little activity with prizes for the kids. I did the cupcake walk. Ryanna helped me decorate the cupcakes. They were strawberry with cream cheese frosting.
Halloween #3: Our community where we live held trick or treating the night before Halloween because I guess in past years our subdivision got slammed pretty hard and some of the residents were upset that their own children didn't get any candy because houses would run out before kids who live here could get any. I really liked this because it allowed me to meet my neighbors. It's hard in this day and age to meet your neighbors because people work so much and when they come home, they don't go out. I met a lot of people and really enjoyed myself and the kids came home with loads of candy.
**Sidenote**NO Owen's costume is not him being eaten by an alligator as I got asked TWICE. Seriously, that's a little out there for me to even think of. He was a dragon. It's not my fault he wouldn't wear the head piece. Doesn't he know I'm trying to get good photos here? Those Anne Gedes & Tom Arma photos where the kids are in cute animal costumes--don't believe it for one second! Those kids were doped up on Dimetapp or something to get them to grin and sit still and not try to yank the head piece off and give an Indian war cry in your face. At least my son would never go for it.
Halloween #4: Ryanna helped me to pass out candy to the kids that came to our house on Halloween night. We didn't get nearly the crowd I thought we would because so many people turned off their lights and didn't participate on the real night because they had done the community trick or treat. I thought it was a good chance for Ryanna to give since she had received so much. I think she might've enjoyed the power of distributing the candy more than she did getting it even.
Wow! That's enough Halloween festivities to last a lifetime...or I guess till next year anyway!
**Last Sidenote I promise**Due to the amount of times Ryanna was able to dress up, she was a Princess for some activities and a cow for others. Her choice.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart

I just wanted to let you know that I married the most wonderful man (hopefully you all feel the same about your own husbands).

I really feel so blessed to have a hard-working, intelligent, athletic, spiritual, HOT man in my life. The more I hear about some of the guys that are out there, the more I realize how lucky I was to find Derek. If you feel like you're married to a man with great qualities who treats you well, offer a prayer of thanks because you have a huge blessing that some women would die to have.

Serioulsy, how easy is it to bash your husband's faults rather than to acknowledge his differences and celebrate how your differences and his are what make your marriage wonderful? I know that if Derek were just like me, we'd drive each other crazy...and be really, really FAT. You can't have two people obsessed with junk food like me and be healthy.

He's such an example to me...I love him!!!

Derek, I wish that you were able to be home today to celebrate with us, but know we're thinking of you.

Friends, Food, Fun

Do you remember hearing this slogan a while back? (see title) I think that it hits the nail on the head so to speak.
Honestly, yesterday I was having a crummy day as per my post. Don't we all have those days where we deeply ponder the unfairnesses that life has presented us and worry that it will never be right? I get in those funks sometimes...luckily for me, I have a wonderful husband who is so much wiser than I am. I also have such wonderful family members (Kell & Don) who take the time to tell me they love me and appreciate me. I'm sorry I posted when I was having a down moment, I hope you won't all think I'm ridiculous. Thanks for your support though, it really lifted my spirits.
Last week some of my girlfriends and I got together to do a craft project. One of my closest friends, Alacey, is incredibly creative and talented and so she volunteered to help us do a fun fall project. We tried for several weeks to establish a night we could all get together sans kids to make it happen. We literally could not find one single night that all of us women could meet. Finally, we decided to do it with the kids around.
It was chaotic, it took longer than it would've taken without the kids, my house was a mess, but more than any of those things--it was fun. After we had finished our little projects, we all started feeling the munchies. Alacey said, "I think we should go to Barro's for lunch." She didn't have to say it twice and we had all grabbed our kids and were out the door. For those of you not familiar with Barro's--it's a local pizza chain that has a kids' area with a huge TV which plays Disney movies, a play kitchen with tons of food items (even milk cartons that look real--huh Jen?) and a little house and car to play with. Oh yeah, the pizza is delicious too.
After we had devoured the pizza and we were rounding up the kids to head home, I had such a content feeling. Friendships do that don't they? A good chat with a close friend is akin to a good accomplishment--you just feel so satisfied when you've taken the time to do it well.
Today I had a group of girlfriends and their kids over again. It too brightened my spirits. It's just so nice to forget yourself for awhile and just play with friends. It's also refreshing to have a good night's sleep. Amazing how waking up in the morning and thinking about the blank slate of a new day will help you to keep your issues in perspective.
Though I may not have everything I need, or I think I need, I do have so much more than most. I have wonderful friends and I am grateful for them.

What makes you sad?

Have you ever mourned the loss of something you never had? Something you recognized other people had and you envied, but try as you might, you would probably never have it in your life? I'm not talking about something superficial like a nice car or house or killer body, I'm talking something deeper like a relationship with a family member or close friend.
I don't think I would describe it as envy or jealousy of other people because I certainly don't begrudge anyone their happiness. I would love for everyone to be happy. I'm talking about something that's perhaps out of your control...A friendship that is taken from you without your permission...a missing piece of a relationship that will never be filled.
Take for instance my dad. My dad was around for about the first year of my life, or so I'm told. I don't ever remember him being there. I don't really remember anything in my life before about age five which is actually quite a blessing I think. Well, my dad tried on and off throughout the years to be involved in my life in his minimalistic way. He would call and have me over for a couple of hours and then return me to my grandparents' house.
We didn't really develop anything closer than that until I was married actually. He calls me fairly frequently now. He often calls to tell me his troubles and sometimes get advice. I appreciate the effort he makes to be a part of my life. I don't think he had the greatest example of a father himself growing up and he openly admits that. The point is that he's trying now, in the best way he knows how, to be in my life.
This ties back into my first question--mourning the loss of something you'll never have--because I never had a dad. I had a grandpa who served in that capacity, but that doesn't mean that I don't need a dad because I have a grandpa. It would be like saying because I have my grandma, I don't need my mom.
I have reached a point in my life where I have to recognize that I will never have a dad. I don't call my biological father dad because I don't think I ever saw him fulfill that role in my life. I don't know that the love he feels for me is that of a father for a daughter. I know that he feels closer to his other kids than me and that's fine. I don't begrudge them their relationship with him. I'm glad he got a second chance to try and be a dad.
How do you fill those holes in your heart? How do you move past that desire to make things how they should be and accept someone else's right to hurt you? How do you look at them and feel such sadness and let it go and hope for better?
I wish I could explain this to her. I wish I could make her see how she makes me feel. She doesn't even know me.

7 Things You Never Knew You Wanted to Know

So, I was tagged by my friend Julie... Apparently I'm supposed to come up with seven tidbits of information about myself that you didn't know. I don't know how interesting this is going to be since I think I'm pretty open. We'll see... Also, I'm supposed to tag seven of you faithful readers out there, so make sure you read to the bottom and don't let me down.

1. I exercise five times a week for approximately an hour a day. I don't really love to exercise. I just really love to eat chocolate and hence I have to exercise because I'm still trying to convince myself that I love my current body and don't need to change it. The exercise cancels out the chocolate and maintains my status quo. Though I don't think I like exercising, I really do like the feeling I have after I have conquered a very tough exercise tape though.

2. I have a phobia of large masses of deep water such as the ocean. I need to explain this a little better so you'll understand. I love the ocean, when I'm sitting on the shore. I don't love the idea of being stranded in the middle of the ocean without a boat or a small island. I think that Jaws did in the friendliness of the ocean for me. I mean, how deep is the ocean exactly? You don't know do you! Neither do I!!! Just stay away that's my motto. They have fish down there that they've only recently discovered because of the depth they live. Come on, that's freaky.

3. I love 80s music. Ahhh yes, Madonna, Michael Jackson, George Michael and Whitney Houston--the early years, the Pointer Sisters, Milli Vanilli, the Cars, Tiffany, Erasure, lots of other one hit wonder groups whose names you probably wouldn't recognize except for that one song you've heard.

4. I like the driver's seat. I realize that many women like to be the passenger, but I don't. I like to drive the car, no matter where or for how long. There are a couple reasons for this--I'm a control freak is one of them. The other is that my husband's driving scares me sometimes. He's definitely a better driver than some of the other people I've had drive me around while I've sat in the backseat, but I just try and close my eyes and pray a lot.

5. I was accepted to go to law school, but met my husband in the meantime. I chose not to go and haven't ever regretted it!

6. I had a roommate with an eating disorder my freshman year of BYU. She started out anorexic and changed into bulimic. She had some major issues. She stole checks from other roommates and went to eat at McDonald's. Imagine how much $34 at McDonald's will buy one person in one sitting. She would throw up in our shower and our sink and not wash it down the drain. She needed some real help.

7. I dated the same guy from the time I was 16 till I was 20. He was NOT the man I married.

Phew...I don't think any of these items is all that interesting, but that's all I've got to offer. You all could start up a collection and fund an exotic cruise for me to go on and then I'll happily write something interesting. Don't worry, my phobia about the water won't stop me from going on a cruise. It's just the idea of the water that scares me. If that ship sinks though, I'll probably die from a heartattack before the water ever gets to me. I don't want any of those crazy fish eating me!

Okay, I tag: Kjirsti, Kelli, Sherri, Tina, Rischel, Annie & Heather.

Yard Work--not for the pure in heart!

Derek and I spent the day preparing our yard to plant our winter grass. Yep--that's right, winter grass. In Arizona you have two seasons for grass and every winter you have to replant. So, we decided to do it today.


In preparation for planting the grass, I went to Home Depot to get us a rake. I found one that I thought would do an awesome job. Unfortunately, it did. It did too good of a job in fact and you couldn't rake more than two feet without breaking out in a sweat because the prongs grabbed the grass so deeply. So...Derek sent me back to Home Depot to get another rake and he also asked me to get a shovel and a file to sharpen it.


A few side notes here: I did not know until last week that a shovel had to be sharpened. Also, Wal-Mart used to be the establishment that ate up most of our money, but Home Depot is quickly taking on that title.

Anyway, I find the rake and the shovel no problem, but I didn't know where to find the file. Since their motto is: "You can do it. We can help," I went in search of a helpful sales associate. The guy took me to the files, picked one out and handed it to me.

The following conversation ensued:

Me: "Is this the right file?" (There were several lengths of files to choose from.)

Him: "Yes. This should be fine for what you need."

At this point I look down at the package to read it and am startled to see what must be a typo. I point to the word and say to the salesclerk

Me: "What is this about?"

He looks at the word and gets this embarassed look on his face and says, "Oh...that's not what you think it is..." Though he couldn't explain exactly what it was though.
For all you file masters out there, you must know what I'm talking about. For you file novices such as myself I'll enlighten you. The box said "Bas*ard." What? Yes. You read that correctly. I know you're not going to believe me, so you'll just have to go to Home Depot and see for yourself. You can also click here and type in the abovementioned word and see that I'm telling the truth.


Now, I didn't even realize till I was about 18 that there are "male" and "female" parts to objects such as outlets. When I first heard it, I thought the guy was just trying to be funny. Nope. He was serious.
Last month when my husband and I were making a list of what items we'd need to buy for yard care, my husband said he'd need a hoe. Of course, you can probably imagine what kind of comments that lead to. I told him that he could have one, but I better never find it in our home and he better keep it outside, etc.


I'm starting to really wonder how much more home improvement or gardening I can be involved in and keep a clean mind.

And, since we're on the subject, I have to tell you about the conversation Ryanna and I had a couple days ago when I gave her and Owen a bath.

Ryanna: "Mom, what is that?" pointing to Owen's male anatomy

Me: "What?" hoping she is not pointing to his male anatomy

Ryanna: "That!" pointing to Owen's male anatomy

Me: "That's Owen's private boy parts."

Ryanna: "But what is it called?"

Me: "That's his pe___" (I'm not going to type the word out hoping to avoid somehow causing a bunch of weirdos to accidentally link to my blog.)

Ryanna: "Oh! His peanuts."

I'm still laughing...