Sunday, January 17, 2010

Owen the Soccer Mobster



In a rare and never before published interview, this reporter gets inside the head of the star player for the Gilbert Thunder Soccer Team.


Reporter: Owen how has being on this team changed your perception of the game of soccer?


Owen: You know, it used to be so innocent. Me and my dad would kick the ball around in our backyard. It was good times. Life was so uncomplicated, but the field, that's different. Those kids are trying to take the ball away from me!


Reporter: So, when everyone comes to the center of the field to kick the ball, how do you get in the zone?


Owen: Well, I enjoy kicking the ball and then standing there frozen in my kicking stance. Why would I chase after the ball? I'm a star not a rookie. I've proven myself at my "home" field.


Reporter: And what about your critics who say you play a dirty game finding kids who are shorter than you (there are actually kids shorter than him), and pushing them or shaking your fist in their faces? (All of this did occur.)


Owen: I guess those kids should know that I came to kick the ball and if they are going to attempt to kick the ball too, they are going to have to pay.


So, the verdict is left to the people. Is Owen merely the shortest bully you've ever seen on a soccer field or is he pure, uncontrolled talent? His shorts may touch his ankles and his x-small shirt may be large enough to fit his older sister, but he is a threat nonetheless. With no yellow or red cards to be handed out, will this star continue his reign of terror or will his coach finally have to bench his ego for the sake of the whole team?

Owen conferencing with his coach about their strategy.

***This interviewer reserves the right to interpret all actions on the field as actual dialogue.

13 comments:

Devin said...

Haha too funny. I wonder where all that sports aggression came from?

rachel said...

Don't mess with him. Derek has trained a machine. Thankfully he will have someone to work out the contract details when he goes international;)

Lyndsey said...

I am laughing so hard! way to cute, and he is pure talent, no way a bully on the field!

Tina said...

Love love love this interview- priceless really.

Mariley Johnson said...

Watch out for that one!

Lacey said...

So funny!! Elodie is excited about starting soccer next month!! I love his ankle length soccer shorts!

Lara said...

Well, one thing's for sure: He is the cutest little soccer star I have ever seen. Too-big-uniform and all.

DKAZ said...

Does that boy even have legs? I mean obviously he does or how could he kick the other kids on his team-I meant the soccer ball. I think the uniform is to blame-for the aggression and cuteness.

Jessica Martiele said...

Doesn't it amaze you how completely different boys are from girls?! I thought there was something wrong with Tyler and his anger management...but then, I only had a sister. Come to find out, so long as he can run and play and tumble and growl and wrestle, he's happy as a clam...even if he looks like an agressive menace to me. (And the most amazing part is that other little boys respond!)

SUPER-cute - LOVE the outfit! - and your commentary was fabulous, Audrey! GO, OWEN!!!

Lauren and Trevor said...

It looks way to warm there to be winter!! You are so lucky to even have the option of a winter outdoor soccer season. Go Owen!

Tiffini said...

how cute! sounds like he's really good. that's awesome!

(The way this little guy kicks at my belly - as if he's trying to kick himself free - makes me wonder if he's going to be a soccer player!)

Heather said...

That's hilarious! He is so cute. And he is SUCH a Petersen! A chip off the ole' block.

wackywilsons said...

You are so creative! I love his little personality coming out.