A Whole Lot of Nothin'

I usually begin my days in a very structured way. Namely, I wake-up and groan at how early my boy insists on greeting the day--the time ranges from 5:40 to 6:30 a.m. Then, I quickly remind myself that this is my life. It's not going to change and I can only change my attitude, so I jump out of bed with a smile on my face and greet the day. Okay, you caught me, I don't shift gears that quickly, but I do get out of bed with resolve and get on my exercise outfit (no, it's not a matching ensemble with cute bows) and haul him downstairs with me.

After locating something with nutritional value, I put him in his chair to eat a small portion (he doesn't like a large breakfast, he said it makes him feel groggy during the day and hey, could I argue with that?). I put on the tape/DVD and get a large glass of ice water. Yes, it has to have ice in it. I don't like water that isn't chilled--call me a snob. "What tape/DVD do you do that manages to keep you looking so trim and toned?" you are dying to know... Well, it's a random assortment based on my tolerance for pushing myself that particular day. If I'm feeling really tough it's David Kirsch's video that has--I'm not kidding or exaggerating--50 push-ups worked into it. Go read the reviews on amazon.com, it'll kick your booty. If I'm not feeling that tough, I may do a Tae Bo or The Firm or another step tape that I really love. For those who are truly interested, I'll let you know if you want some ideas (not all Tae Bo videos are created equal let me tell you).

After the exercise has ended (I've had to stop the tape and remove Owen at some point from his chair), I usually drink a little bit more and let my body cool down a bit by doing the dishes or a general clean up session of the kitchen. I now also have to clean up the bunny do-dos and feed him a bit as well. Following that, I head to a shower, then hair and make-up. This is all performed by me, not a team of stylists. Although I have wished for that before. Following the Audrey production, I throw my kids in my tub--not their tub--my tub. They prefer my tub because it's bigger and I don't mind of course. I get them dressed and do Ryanna's hair and have her make her bed and brush her teeth. We then usually head downstairs to do a 30 minute violin practice session. After that, it's whatever needs to be done for the day.

Why am I telling you the tedious details that seems to take up so much of my morning? Well, it's because today was so very different. Today, was not a typical get up, get going day for me. My day began at 3:45 a.m. and again at 6:45 a.m. I woke up the first time because I had to go to the bathroom and then my mind started going. My husband thinks I'm crazy, but this is a big problem with me. It's not usually to-do's either that run through my mind. It's thoughts like, "I wonder why so and so hasn't emailed me in a while?" or "Really, how could I be a better parent...what could I change, how am I going to start in a few hours to reach those goals?" Other such thoughts that do have merit, but are best left to be pondered in the daylight hours. Once I get going though, it's hard to stop as it was today. I was awake, tormented with my thoughts and feeling sick to my stomach (that's literal) and didn't fall back asleep until 6:00 a.m. At which time my husband got up and I fell asleep until 6:45 a.m. when Owen greeted the day. I was actually thrilled he'd let me sleep in a bit.

Feeling sick, still, I got up and carried him downstairs where I fed him and then let him watch the new pbs channel that is composed of all their children's programs all day--have you seen this? I read a bit of the new book I'm reading and generally felt yucky all day.

My house looked like trash, my body felt like trash and my mothering today bordered on nanny with serious neglect issues. I am not a TV mom. I allow one hour a day. Seriously, one hour, sometimes two if there's a very good reason. Today? Uh, let's not go into details here. Suffice it to say that my daughter loved today because of all the TV.

Did I mention I'm still wearing the pjs I went to bed in last night? Gross. Real, but gross.

Tomorrow? Tomorrow holds so much promise--another day of TV is what my daughter would hope for I'm certain. For me, it holds the hope of my usual routine. I am a creature of habit.