Wednesday, January 22, 2014

The Toughest Calling Yet

A few weeks ago I was released from my calling as the Relief Society Activity Such and Such. I can never remember the full title because it's very silly and much too long. Anyway, I was what they used to call the Enrichment leader before it became called the longest calling in our church.
My new calling is a Sunday School Teacher to the 14 year olds in our ward. I was excited about my new calling because it's a change and it means that I no longer have to plan a party for about 40 women every month. I loved my old calling. My organizational skills along with a super committee made it fun and rarely overwhelming. But, after planning the Relief Society Christmas dinner three times in a row, I was ready for a break.
This new calling is different. The old curriculum was lengthy and very literal. It said things like, "After telling the kids this story, you will now feel the Spirit." Okay, not really exactly like that...the new curriculum is about three sentences long. Okay, maybe not that short, but it's definitely short. Now, instead of being a teacher, I'm really Oprah Winfrey. I get to ask tough questions like, "How does that make you feel?" and challenge the kids when they give me answers like, "Say our prayers and go to church." So, I'm a little bit Oprah combined with an investigative journalist. I even get to make the kids feel really uncomfortable by saying nothing at all or commenting on the fact that I'm saying nothing at all, by saying, "What do you think?" Wait, wait, wait... "I'll just wait while you guys think about it."
I have discovered that even though they are teenagers, they still love stories. They remember them and reference them from previous weeks. The story lines are more complex and I only provide true life experiences, but I guess that in some ways we all still love a good story--no matter our age.
I have a really great class filled with smart, pretty respectful kids, so it's really not bad. It's fun to see their personalities revealed in their answers. When we had a discussion about reading scriptures once, one girl said, "Of course I read every day. We have a chart in seminary and I can't fall behind!" I could feel the guilt oozing out of her pores and saw my own to-do list, guilt driven self sitting right there. Her friend beside her said, "I know about that chart, but I'm behind. I'll catch up sometime." I saw someone who gets that she needs to get it done, but isn't going to be kept up at night with the guilt. Then, I heard some of the other kids say, "I don't read my scriptures at all." I wasn't quite sure how to keep the discussion friendly and yet not offer up some advice. I can't remember exactly what I said in the moment, but I think it was something along the lines of, "Well, we all have to start somewhere."
I really like the new format. I think that the youth are much too smart to be lectured to--not that all of us don't need a lecture from time to time. They have great ideas. They see things. They certainly can relate to each other if given the opportunity.
The trick for me is to figure out if they are feeling the Spirit while they are in my class. I hope so. As I expected from teenagers, they don't give me any feedback about my role. I hope they are coming prepared to feel the Spirit and I'm going to come prepared to try and listen to the Spirit, so we can all guide each other through this journey of learning.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Remodeling Ourselves

2014 sort of snuck up on me...along with every other holiday this year it seems. I love to plan things. To peruse Pinterest and pin ideas that inspire and motivate me--mostly you would think things containing chocolate, peanut butter and caramel are all that motivate me, but that's not entirely true.
I have disliked New Year's as a holiday for a long time. It's not the actual holiday itself that I hate, but the lack of excitement I think it contains. With Valentine's there are chocolates and decorating and cards. Christmas brings yummy flavors and Christ and such a warm spirit. Halloween--I love the Halloween season more and more the older I get. It's not the actual dressing up, but the season and flavors and change of temperatures and all of the fun activities I can do with the kids that we have all grown to associate with the month of October. But New Year's? It's a night to stay up much too late and after counting down from 10, absolutely nothing has changed. I don't know, it's very anti-climactic. It's how I remember my last day of high school. I expected to feel very different and instead I felt very much the same only now I had no strict schedule ruling my days.
This New Year's along with the last few have actually been a lot of fun. My husband's family all make different treats to share with each other and we would go outside and watch the fireworks that other people set off. It was low key and fun. For us, we talked with the kids a few days before hand about what their resolutions would be for the new year. I have to brag on all of them and say that each of them reached their goals for this last year. Ryanna's goal was to read at least 80 chapter books and she did--many more than that. Owen's was to read that many books, chapter or not, and he did. Eli's was to try at least 5 new foods and we would have a party to celebrate and eat each one of those foods at the party. Ever attend a party where the main dishes were: grapes, hot cereal, pineapple, blood oranges and German pancakes? It's quite an affair. My goal was to write in my journal every Sunday. I didn't do it every weekend like I had planned, but I would say I missed less than 10 times, so that feels decently successful. None of us can remember what Derek's resolution was, so I'm going to let him grapple with his own conscience about whether he changed in a positive way or not.
I usually spent several weeks thinking about what I want to change about myself for this New Year. Not that there aren't several things I could improve, but I really wanted to do something meaningful. So, this year, my resolution is not a change of myself, but a creation of memories. I have wanted to compile my maternal grandparents' life stories for many years now. This year I will do it. I have already recorded an hour of my grandpa's memories last week and I need to transcribe them now and put them together into what I want them to be. Next comes my grandma.
I love family history work. I love finding the names of people who are related to me. I don't know why it's so magical to me, but it is. This project is one that I hope my kids can treasure when they are older. These stories that my grandpa told me--they don't happen anymore. The world is so different. How many of us will grow up with more than 10 siblings? Tie up a neighbor man at his own prodding only to see him chew through the rope? Have our first pair of new overalls ripped off our three year old body and torn to shreds, but be completely grateful to be alive? Quit school in eighth grade to support a family only later to own a successful business? Life is different and each of us has a story to share. I'm determined this year to remodel myself by saving memories from the past of people who have helped shape me into who I am today.