Check Your Sources

As we all noticed when Mitt Romney was running for President, the LDS church got a lot of coverage--both good and bad. It was wonderful to see the good stuff and hear people who weren't members of our church stand up for the good members they had known throughout their lives. The bad stuff was always hard to listen to--be it McCain's mom's comment or articles that just had half-truths.

So, when this whole incident involving the FLDS church happened, I wondered if the media would be more careful this time around. You know, would they mention that this group has absolutely no association to our church or would they do what the media loves to do and call them the FLDS all the while flashing pictures of the Salt Lake City Temple.

Just like with Romney, some of the coverage has been good while some not so good. There are some papers you like to hope will be more dilligent in what they allow to be written. Papers that reach a huge audience. Papers like the New York Times. So, imagine my disappointment to read this short article in their opinion section.

This terribly researched article says things like:

"But religion can also be used as an excuse for awful behavior – from the torture of the Roman Catholic Inquisition, to beheadings by Jihadist killers, to the sexual manipulation of children by early Mormons and their latter-day sects. "

And

"It [Mormonism] would have been just another Christian faith had not Smith let his libido lead him into trouble. Before he died at the hands of a mob, he married at least 33 women and girls; the youngest was 14, and was told she had to become Smith’s bedmate or risk eternal damnation."

Wow, that's some research this guy has done citing only one author for his whole piece. One author--Fawn M. Brodie whom Wikipedia (not the most credible source either, but it's all I've got) states:

Although Fawn grew to maturity in a rigorously religious environment that included strict Sabbatarianism and evening prayers on her knees, her mother was a closet skeptic who thought the LDS Church a "wonderful social order" but who doubted its dogma. According to Brodie, in the late 1930s, while her father headed Mormon mission activities in German-speaking Europe, her mother became a "thoroughgoing heretic."

Definitely the author I would use on what our religious founder believed and supported. Or not. How about Richard Bushman's thoroughly exhaustive look into the prophet that was published more recently and was completely open about his strengths and weaknesses? From what I read in Bushman's account, the exact number of Joseph Smith's wives was never fully known, yet this Fawn Brodie lady apparently found it out. Hmmmm.....

I just think this is a really good lesson for me to remember next time I read something about another religion that sounds a bit out there. Does it match up with what I know of people who belong to that faith? Does it sound a bit too crazy to be completely correct? It probably is.

This Is What I Do

So, all growing up, I used to get canker sores--not occasionally, but frequently. I would get them if I ate too much citrus or if I had too much sugar or really too much of anything. It was my body's way of saying, "hold it sister."
Then, one day I decided to get married. The wedding planning was pretty stressful. If you've ever been married, you'll know what I mean. My body really didn't like that I put it under so much stress, so right after Derek and I tied the knot and boarded a plane to fly out for our honeymoon, my lip started tingling. This was a new sensation for me. I'd always had canker sores, but I could not figure out why my upper lip was feeling numb. Oh well, the wedding was over, I was ready to have fun!
Well, the day after I woke-up from the plane ride and went into the bathroom to get ready, what did I see? My first ever cold sore. It was nasty. You see, I already have large lips, so anything on top of them really makes a scene. I was a bit devastated because after our honeymoon, we were headed back to Derek's hometown to have our reception. I would be meeting all of his friends that I'd never seen and now I looked nasty. I started crying. I really did. I couldn't help it. Here I was, supposed to be looking so incredibly beautiful and now my lip looked like a mini crater had erupted.
I survived the reception and no one was mean enough to mention how terrible my lip looked and eventually--WITH MEDICATION--the cold sore went away. I had to take amoxicillin or some other drug like that. I'm telling you, it was nasty.
Last fall, we were in the process of buying a house and moving and accepting our first real job and we decided to take a trip to San Diego. It was a great trip, but I got sunburned and guess what happened? Yeah, another nasty cold sore. Let's see, if you'd describe the first one as Mt. McKinley, this one would have to be Mt. Everest. I'm telling you, I could see it from my peripheral vision. The thing is, I was slathering on the abreva like you're supposed to and it was only getting bigger and bigger and grosser and grosser. By the time I went to the urgent care, people were gawking at me. I blogged about this event here. The picture doesn't show up anymore I don't think, but use your imagination if you must.
Well, this last week I allowed myself to get a little worked up when a doctor bill came. It was my own fault. I opened the mail on Friday after everything had closed, so I mentally stressed over it all weekend long. Of course, on Monday, when I finally called about it, it was nothing! And, Derek is leaving town for the whole weekend. And I'm pregnant and feeling chubby. You know how it goes. Blah, blah, blah.
Right now, it's just a mere baby cold sore and I'm trying to calm myself down and hope it doesn't get any worse. But that just seems to stress me out--trying to not stress out about the cold sore. What a vicious cycle.

Magazines vs. Books

I have always loved to read and read and read some more. I come from a family of readers and was read to a lot as a child. When I was in college, I didn't have time for selecting my own novels because I majored in English, so I had to read whatever the assigned reading was. I read lots of great stuff, don't get me wrong, but my reading style changed.

You see, I joined a gym and at the gym, I would do the eliptical or the stair climber. This allows a great opportunity for reading magazines. Since I was trying to get in shape and I had no children, I would read magazines like Shape and Self. I liked the information on how to tone up and the tidbits of info on health and lifestyle. The magazine would easily lie open, once I ripped out all of those annoying cardstock inserts--seriously, those things should be banned, and I could read away while working out. The best of both worlds!


Then, I got married and had kids and I stopped working out at the gym. At home I do exercise tapes which don't allow me to read while I exercise. I do have subscriptions to several magazines now though: Parents, Midwest Living (thanks Mom & Dad), Better Homes & Gardens (thanks Sabina), LDS Living (thanks Donna), Family Fun (thanks Phil & Ruth), the Ensign and Ladies' Home Journal. Each of these magazines provides a different and fun reading experience. The problem is that I am also involved in two book groups and so that has kept me really busy reading novels. You see, no one is going to ask me about the character development from the latest magazine I read.


So, what has happened is a pile-up. I have a stack of seven magazines sitting on my microwave right now and they are dying to be read. Do you know what magazine I am currently finishing? Parents December 2007 edition. Sad. You know what's worse, I just got notice from the library that the book I requested is in to pick up and another friend of mine just loaned me another book to read. I'm drowning in words over here.


I never thought in a million years I'd be feeling overwhelmed by my love of reading. The truth of it is, I now have to add to my to do list: read magazines Jan-May 2008.

We've Got Lots in Common Where it Really Counts!

We went to the Maricopa County Fair yesterday afternoon. It was our first venture out to the fair in these parts since we've lived here. Since the weather is finally getting too hot (it's supposed to be 94 degrees today) to be comfortable, we figured we'd better get out and enjoy it while we can.

My main purpose in going was to show our kids all of the animals. They both really like the zoo, so I thought this would be fun too. Plus, these would be animals they see in books all the time. There really were tons and tons of animals. Both Derek and I went to fairs in our own home towns growing up and we compared the experience to our own.


First, I don't remember any llamas at my fair growing up, but there were lots at this fair. It was really neat to see them, but the way they would watch you with their eyes...and knowing that they spit...it really made me think of those dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. And, apparently, it's fashionable to cut their hair like a poodle.

Second, I can talk geese. I would make this honking noise to this one goose and he would immediately answer me everytime. I just figured he was noisy like that, but when I walked away, he stopped doing it to anyone else.


Third, the food didn't look as appealing to me as the food growing up. I'm pretty sure the food growing up was sold by local vendors. Most of this food looked like carnival food--pizza by the slice, funnel cakes for $5, lemonade, etc. There was one stand that sold Mexican food (where we ate) and another that sold BBQ.


Fourth, the kids who were in 4H didn't look all the same. Most of the kids that participated in the raising and showing their animals would wear Wranglers (boys) and Rocky Mountains (girls) and lots of these kids had on regular looking clothes. There definitely were kids dressed like I remembered, but I guess I had figured things don't change--that's how I know I'm getting too old.


Fifth, I remember being enthralled by the rides. The colors and lights were so intriguing. Now, I look at them and see all the grease, grime and germ potential. My daughter, however, still views them in the same favorable light that I did. She begged and begged to ride on them.

Sixth, our bunny is big. Seriously, I looked at over 100 different rabbits and we only saw about 4 that were bigger than our chubby bunny. There was one rabbit that was so large it was shocking, but mostly, these bunnies made me realize we own a very large rabbit.

Three Kids Elitism?

My friend, Jack (whose wife NEVER updates their blog (thought I'd get a guilt trip in there while I'm blogging--multitasking!)) sent me a really good article from the Washington Post. Yes, my friends, it has come to other people having to keep me up-to-date on what's going on in the world. How sad, but so, so true. I'm bad about current events. The article was funny because it addressed the idea of having the third child.

Given that I have been raised LDS, three kids never seemed like much to me. Not that I, myself, was raised in a big family (I have multiple step and half siblings, but never lived with any of them). However, going to church and associating with friends, big families were the typical thing--I was the anomaly. I also have never discussed the ultimate size of the family my husband and I want to end with. Since I was raised as an only child, I figured it'd be better to take it one at a time and see how my sanity was holding up.

In the article which you can access here, the author talks about how she too is expecting her third kid. Apprently, NYC is not accustomed to seeing people who can afford to raise three children. She sites the Dept. of Agriculture as saying that the average child costs $204,060 to raise to the age of 18. I have to digress again and wonder why they didn't round out that $60? Was that the Disney movies you had to buy or the popcorn at the theater you knew was too expensive, but bought anyway?

She goes on to poke a bit of fun at how we think of children nowadays and I had to think that some of it rang true:
For a couple's every conceivable wish or worry, the parenting industry knows the precise formula of guilt, fear, hope, love and desire that will empty the parental wallet. Rather than fret about spending too much money, most parents these days are consumed by the anxiety of underspending -- the fear that somewhere, some other parent is offering her baby an educational toy or child-development class that will propel the toddler ahead, and that if you skimp, your child risks losing out and falling behind.

Isn't it true that we're feeling the stress to keep our kids in the game of life? I know that getting into college is getting trickier and trickier and good grades are nowhere near going to be enough to get a child in. My mom enrolled me in a few summer activities a couple of different summers, but my family was in no way hypervigilant at pushing any one activity in hopes of leading to my college success.

However, don't we parents worry now when we think that somehow we are letting our children fall behind the "average" or "accelerated" curve? It's funny because most of us realize that if we want little Tommy to play basketball in high school, he had better start by age 4 or he'll never even have the skills to make it on the middle school "A" team.

I'm definitely digressing from the point of the article. I just thought it was absolutely outrageous when she cited the following statistic for NYC:
Once a new mom's maternity leave (if she's lucky enough to get it) is up, a nanny or quality day care is in order. In upscale urban areas and tony suburban enclaves, where luxury families are flourishing, that can translate to $800 a week for child care alone. So-called high-end nannies -- those who hail from licensed agencies and come equipped with working papers and even driver's licenses -- can cost more than $50,000 a year on the books. And to think, some deluxe families hire two. After all, how can one nanny juggle a set of twin infants and a 3-year-old, or ferry three kids under 6 to their various play dates, preschool programs and lessons?

$800 a week for child care??? That's $3,200 a month folks. I just can't imagine expending that much money for child care. The most ironic thing of all is that these families don't consider the mother staying home. It's not even on the radar. Instead, the effort is expended in finding the best nanny. I just don't get it.

And, you're not going to believe this:
Today's American children, by contrast, get an average of 70 new toys a year, yet child development experts agree that the best toys are simple playthings such as blocks, balls and figurines that a child can play with over and over, in new ways. When I was growing up, a sticker was something precious that a stationery store owner would carefully cut off a roll and sell for 25 cents. Today, a made-in-China jumbo book of 600 stickers can be bought at CVS for $6.99. Something has been lost in this ostensibly positive development.

Wow! 70 new toys a year? Think of the cost of that alone. She also cites how these parents put their children in private school and private lessons for sports and how all of that adds up. Well, no wonder they consider three children a sign of wealth and elitism. If I felt the need to buy all of those things for my child, I'd probably never even have one.

I love how she ends it though:
As for my husband and me, we hardly have unlimited resources, but we're still planning to go forth and multiply in the big city. The way we figure it, one day our children will be grateful for what we didn't give them -- and what we did for them instead.

I hope that my children know I love them 'cause I'm never getting a nanny (no matter how I beg my husband won't give in. I tell him it's for me and not the kids). I think that we worry too much about giving each child this amazing childhood and not enough on how important it is just to love them. Running through the sprinklers, coloring in a coloring book, reading a story, those are all interactive, fun activities. Not saying that providing more is bad, but don't you feel the pressure to do so?

The Amazing 4D Ultra-Sound

So, I realize that there are those of you out there who are kind of weirded out by seeing a baby in such early stages of development, but I, personally, find it fascinating. Today we went in for a nuchal translucency screening. It is where they administer a 4D ultra-sound to test for birth defects and down's syndrome. I love it because they spend about 40 minutes just looking at your baby. I had this done when I was pregnant with Owen also. They also said the preliminary results of the tests look positive (no birth defects) for those of you who are wondering.

And, because I didn't give all the details in the first post:
Our baby is due the middle of October (the nurse told me the 14, the Doctor said 15 or 16, so I'm saying sometime in the middle).
We are very excited to have this baby coming. We waited till 12 weeks to tell everyone because it's a safer time in the pregnancy.
The doctor told me that he would not make me go a week past my due date as I have had to with Ryanna & Owen because Owen weighed 9 pounds, I can be induced at 39 weeks if all looks healthy.
My body has never gone into labor on its own, so I'm planning on being induced.
We don't have a name for either gender decided on. Derek has already been trying to pin me down, but I want to wait till I know boy or girl and then the negotiations will begin. Ryanna was a very easy pick for us, Owen was a very difficult decision to reach--but we absolutely LOVE both names. That's what I want is a name we both feel good about, not a name where one of us feels that we had to settle.
Now, back to the photos.

Our baby is not quite 13 weeks old and already, you can see the head, arms, legs, eye buds, hand development and feet. You can also see the heart beating and the tiny brain. For me, it is just simply amazing to think that life has developed so quickly.


The first shot is the frontal view. The second photo the baby has her (I'm just picking a pronoun here) back to us. When we started the ultra-sound, she was sleeping so peacefully, but the technician needed her to wake up. Once she was awake, she kept rolling over. So, here is the newest Petersen.

Pop Quiz

This picture makes you feel:

a. Excited!!!

b. Curious?

c. Surprised

d. Sick, in fact you wondered why you'd been feeling exhausted and sick for the last while now.

When you see these results, your husband will say:

a. Yay!!! We continue to populate the world with our beautiful children.

b. Are you sure? Did you take it right?

c. Nothing, he's asleep.

d. Good, I hope it's twins.

Your friends will say:

Here's your turn to answer with your favorite and correct response.

Fabulous Number Five

Five years ago yesterday, I went into the hospital to get a dose of prostaglandin to help my cervix to relax, so that I could have my first baby. My original due date was March 25 and I treated it just like I do all my other goals--with certainty. I told myself that I was going to have this baby on the 25 of March because that is what the doctor had told me was my due date, that was the date the ultrasounds said was right and perhaps because I was born on my own due date I thought my daughter would come with as much punctual courtesy as I had.

Well, they administered that first dose and I had to lie there for an hour with no book to read, no TV to watch, nothing to do but wonder why my back had started hurting after a few minutes. After the hour, I left the hospital and headed to the house. My grandma and mom arrived shortly after. My mom had driven from Missouri and stopped in Colorado to pick up my grandma (her mom) and then headed over to Provo.

My mom took some cute shots of me and what felt like my huge, pregnant belly. We soon picked up Derek from school at BYU and headed to dinner at Red Robin. The whole time my back had been hurting, but I figured that's how it is as you near the end of your pregnancy, you're just uncomfortable.

After dinner, we went shopping for nursing bras because I had forgotten to buy one and they were going to be needed by April 1, my scheduled induction date. After bra shopping, we dropped off a set of tires to my grandma's accountant and then headed to the hospital, where I was scheduled to get my second dose of prostaglandin.

Well, the nurse that checked me in looked at me and hooked me up to the monitors and told me that I was not going to be leaving because my contractions were coming along well enough that I would have my baby sometime soon. Contractions? That's what all that pain in my back was? I never did end up having a single contraction in my front. All back labor. My grandma, mom and Derek all got comfortable and we waited for whatever would happen next.

Not much later, the contractions were measuring off the monitor, so I requested some drugs only to be told that they would need to call my doctor to make sure that was okay. Huh? I want some pain medication. I'm telling you it's okay, why does he have to okay it? Well, his policy was that no drugs were to be administered to his patients without his consent. Fine if your doctor will answer any of the three numbers he's provided for the hospital. (One of those numbers was a pager he claimed to sleep with.) After waiting for an hour for him to return a call, Derek had to sign some form saying the hospital held no liability in case administering the drugs had some ill foreseen consequences.

A few hours later, I received an epidural. The epidural was overdone and so I could no longer move my body at all from the waist down. It sounds great for the pain, but you don't realize how the concept of pushing really requires feeling. I also was held off from pushing for an hour while they attempted to locate the doctor again for the delivery. Remember, he's the one that scheduled me to go to the hospital on the 30 of March to begin the whole process and then he never answered his phone once.

Finally, another doctor was located. When I began pushing, Ryanna's heartrate immediately dropped. With each push--the same effect. The doctor told me that he was going to get the forceps. Three pushes later and one yank with the forceps and my beautiful daughter came into the world.

The umbilical cord had been wrapped around her neck causing the distress when I pushed. Other than that, she was completely fine.

Now, it's five years later and I can hardly believe it's been that long. She has brought so much happiness to my life. She is so beautiful inside and out. She has taught me patience. She has taught me unconditional love. Forgiveness because it's the right thing to do...because you love someone no matter what. She is not only my daughter, she's my best friend.

Isn't this cute?

First smile caught on camera!

Visiting cousin Talia.

Sassy!

So sleepy.

Derek rode the bus to school everyday and she insisted she was riding with him this morning, so she did.

That is some good Kool-Aid.

Three generations carving pumpkins. Owen would come a couple of weeks later.

Like the rest of the family, Owen adored her from the very beginning.

Uncle Keith came to visit.

Easter Sunday

The birthday girl with another fabulous Alacey cake.