I Keep On Fallin'...

So, I can't help myself. I didn't know what it would be like to have a second child. I was honestly a bit worried being raised as an only child, though I have lots of siblings. I love Ryanna so deeply that I questioned how it would be possible to love another child as much. Could it be done? Well, I can attest that it can...it is being done...each and every day I think I fall more in love with my little boy.

He's doing the cutest things lately. Just this week he started holding both of his arms in front of him when he wants me to hold him. So cute! Even when he's doing something naughty, it's so cute. For instance, when he's done eating whatever I have placed on his tray, what does he do? He picks it up one piece at a time and in a very calm manner drops each piece on the floor. When I look him in the eye and say, "No." He looks very calmly back at me and picks up another piece and repeats the process, all the while thinking, "Dear woman, if I wanted to eat this, I would. I am simply done. Please remove the food or I'll do it for you. Look. I'm showing you how."

I bought him some jammies the other day and put them on him tonight and he just looked adorable, so I couldn't help but take several shots of him. Don't worry...there's only nine pictures for you to browse through.

How do you teach this?

Ryanna had her third violin concert in her life Saturday. I was really excited for her because she has progressed so much in her abilities the last couple of months. We took the summer off because her teacher was gone and we were terrible about practicing...pretty much didn't practice to be honest, but boy did we have good intentions. I didn't know how it would be starting up again this August and I have been pleasantly surprised by her improvements in so many areas--bow hold, fingering, speed, etc. There is a lot to think about when you play a violin.

I signed her up to do this concert at one of the group lessons she takes every other Saturday. They have children of all ages and abilities that perform. Ryanna's teacher, Mrs. Bowling, had decided that it would be good for Ryanna to play the theme to Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. I agreed, she had really grasped the song well. Seriously, she's been able to play this song without any errors for several weeks. I was really excited about the concert.

A brief history about Ryanna's violin concerts...She was always a bit shaky on the songs she was going to perform before the past two recitals. I never knew how she would do. I was always excited and anxious for her. She apparently has the ability to rise to the occassion and do well. With this history in mind, I knew she was going to rock this concert. She was so prepared.

Imagine my surprise when she got lost playing her song on Saturday. Here she was the first performer (she always is because she's always the youngest person playing the easiest song) and she started the song beautifully. I was really pleased and all of a sudden, she forgot to repeat the middle section. Oh no! I was worried for only a split second because not only does she rise to the challenge of these pressure filled events, but she is very good at finding her place in the music if she misses a note.

Well, this time she didn't. She wasn't able to find that note right away like she's so talented at doing. She wasn't able to act as though she slightly missed it. She got lost. She did eventually pick up with her teacher and finish the performance. She bowed...(I love her bows) and everyone clapped of course.

Honestly, I felt badly for her. She KNOWS this song better than any other song she's ever done before. We've practiced this song over and over. Not to the point where it's obnoxious because she knows it so well there has been no need. I couldn't help but wish it had been perfect. I wanted her to shine on her special day. Her grandma drove down from Colorado and we even had some good friends, Jack & Annie & their little girl, come and watch.

After the performance she went and sat down to finish listening to all the other performers. She didn't cry or seem distressed at all. After the concert finished, she came up to me and I told her good job, but I couldn't help but ask her what had happened. She didn't seem to know exactly herself.

We went to get gelatto afterward and had a good time as a family celebrating her performance. She had done the best she could after all.

I just wonder, how do you teach your child to strive for their best and be slightly disappointed that they didn't reach it and want to do even better next time? How do you do it without making them feel like they aren't good enough? How do you let them know that they are so perfect to you in every way, but you want them to reach their full potential, but not heap so much pressure on them that they always feel inadequate?

I struggle with this because I know I have felt this way. I know my potential in different areas and I know that I'm not reaching it all the time. I remember as a child wanting to please eveyone so badly and feeling their disappointment when I wasn't reaching expectations. Honestly, it definitely helped me to excel, but is it good? I don't want to be one of those parents you hear about who are vicariously living their lives through their children. You know those parents on the bleachers who are freaking out about their child missing the shot or the goal or the pass opportunity. That's not me. I want to be encouraging without demanding. I want my child to want for herself to achieve.

When Ryanna and I did a lesson today, we warmed up playing the first four variations that she knows. Then I said, "How about we do the theme now and I'll go get the camera and we can record it?" She said, "Yeah, 'cause I didn't play it right yesterday." My heart kind of sunk when she said that because I wondered, "Did she say that because she recognized it herself or because she could feel my disappointment?"

I realize that I'm imperfect as a parent and I hope that my child can look back and forgive my imperfections as I know I've certainly had to do for my parents. I just want so badly to be a better parent. Isn't that what we all want? To be better than the previous generation? To reach our potential...to feel like we might not have been perfect, but no one could fault us for trying? I think about this all the time. I worry that through my thoughtless words and actions, spoken or performed in haste, I may damage the relationship I have with my children or cause them to lose confidence and trust in me.

I am so proud of her. She is such an amazing child. My gosh, she's playing the violin at four years old!!! I could've never done what she's doing at her age. She's such a great sister to Owen, helper for me, friend to so many. I love her to pieces and I am so proud of my little girl. I hope that she can continue to teach me to be a better parent and remember that we're all works in progress.

(Here is the song from this afternoon. She starts to play the wrong note and catches herself and corrects it. The camera goes crazy a couple of times because I am holding Owen and he was batting the camera. Note: you'll need to turn off the music on the Pumpkin Patch slide show to hear this correctly. If you can't figure out how to do that, you can also view this at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXfu1_Qy7oE)

DEmotivational

My Aunt sent me these funny posters and I thought I'd share some of my favorites with you...

The Pumpkin Patch

Today Ryanna's preschool class had a field trip to The Pumpkin Patch which is located just down the road. It was a great place!!! It only cost $7 for me, Ryanna and Owen to get in and they had tons of activities that were included in the cost: a hay bale maze, decorating a pumpkin, a hay ride, pumpkin smashing to feed the pigs and goats and a bouncy tent. Seriously, a great deal for the money.

Limited Edition

Do you get so excited when you go to the grocery store and they have a new ice cream flavor that sounds absolutely scrumptious? Then you notice the wording on the package: "Limited Edition" and you think: "Oh my, I better buy up everything they have here, 'cause they are only making so much of this stuff." (Oh by the way, most of the blog entries on my blog will involve comments revolving around food. Get used to it. I can tie almost any subject back to food. It's MY blog and that is my obsession and problem. Good thing I don't drink huh?)

Come on, you know you think this when you see that Dreyer's has their Girl Scouts Thin Mint ice cream out. I can not possibly be the only addict...okay, maybe I am. I honestly don't consume as much ice cream as I did growing up, but you may never know that from how much I talk about it.

Now I'm all about the advertiser letting me know that a good thing is only out there in a limited amount, but when I saw this at Costco I had to feel a little bit deceived.

Now, I do realize that Dreyer's chooses to only make so many quarts of that delicious ice cream, but really--are strawberries soon to be on the endangered fruit list? If they are, let me know, I'll freeze them up! Maybe this is why the Prophet is telling us to keep a year's supply. I always thought I'd see this on hamburger or bacon or some animal product...who knew the first casualty of our time would be the Strawberry?

T-shirts in All Their Forms

Last night Derek and I were invited to go to an Arizona State University football game. We were able to get some friends to babysit at the last minute (thanks Chris & Lolly!) and off we went. I didn't know until we got there that our seats would be amazing. By amazing I mean we were on the 50 yard line three rows up. I was telling Derek that lately we have been scoring amazing tickets to games. Now, if only we could find someone who has tickets to the Suns...

I had forgotten how fast, big & athletic the players really are. I had previously only attended BYU football games when I was a student there. Those were such fun games. I sat with my roommates and we had such a great time. We weren't in the student section this time, but the student section was directly next to ours corded off by a long, yellow rope. After being there for only a short while I realized that that rope was probably for my own protection. Those fans are crazy! I think they're mostly crazy because they're drunk. Well, they are college kids trying to impress each other so that comes into play as well.

You'd think that with such amazing seats it would be impossible to be distracted by anything else. Well, you'd be wrong. I am a people watcher. I love to see how people present themselves not just in dress, but in body language and facial expression. I had a really hard time when we were looking at houses when we were deciding where to move because if the house was occupied, all I wanted to do was look at the photos on the wall or try to figure out the person's interests from items in their homes. Honestly, I even looked in their pantries not just to see the size of the pantry, but to see what foods the home owners liked. I know, I'm weird.

So, when I wasn't watching the game and trying very hard to protect my ears from the foul language of the all the fickle "coaches" sitting in the stands, I was being shocked by the way the ASU women present themselves. Now, to be fair, there were some female students there that were dressed very modestly and looked very sweet, but they were in a small minority compared to those girls who were prowling around. These prowlers were wearing ASU T-shirts that they had deconstructed into tube tops, dresses and whatever else they could to barely cover their chests. Seriously, I've never seen such a sight. I did figure out how they do it though:

1. Buy an ASU T-shirt that is already too small for you if it were left completely alone.
2. Rip said T-shirt to where you can tie in around your chest exposing most of your clevage.
3. If you think that style is too "last year" then you can cut slits in the side of the T-shirt causing others to place bets as to how long your shirt will stay together.
4. If styles mentioned on numbers 2 & 3 are too boring for you or you actually want to try a new avenue, you can buy two shirts and make them into a dress. It won't be flattering, but it will be a dress.
5. I also forgot to mention that you must bleach your hair blonde and wear a lot of foundation on your face.
6. You must carry a cell phone with you at all times. If you are not texting on this phone, you must have it stuck to your ear to let everyone know that you're at the game, but you are so popular you could be anywhere with anyone.
7. You need to walk up and down the stairs or in front of the bleachers where the other ASU students are sitting at least 4 times per quarter. Any less and you might be able to watch the game.

Okay, I'm being really judgmental here. I know, I know. I was a crazy college girl once too, but I couldn't help but think while I was there, "We are going home and teaching Ryanna the BYU fight song. We are going to buy all of her clothing in blue, tan and white. We are going to bring up the idea of BYU at least twice a day and mention how excited we'll be when she goes there." It really scared me to think that women are presenting themselves this way. No wonder the men in our society are turning to hard porn, there's soft porn surrounding them daily.

Even sadder is that these girls are dressing this way to attract attention from guys. I had a group of about eight such guys sitting directly behind me during the first half of the game, so I was able to hear their running commentaries on the above-mentioned women. They did think these females were hot no doubt, but with absolutely no respect for them. They called them very unflattering names. They didn't find these girls interesting for any other reason than their bodies. Besides, what kind of a man are you going to attract when you dress that way?

Ryanna would've talked my ear off if she would've been at the game. We had a family home evening lesson on modesty about two months ago and boy she took it to heart. Whenever we're out she lets me know when she seems a woman immodestly dressed. I hear it from her when I do my exercise videos:

Ryanna: "Mom that lady is not dressed modestly."

Me: "I know, that's not good is it."

Ryanna: "No, she should put some modest clothes on."

Me: "Yes, she should."

Now that I've got that out, I feel a lot better. Oh yeah, ASU stomped Washington.

Why Am I Such a Poor City Girl?

My friend and fabulous hair stylist, Brooke, invited me to go to Schnepf Farms with her today. Since the weather appeared to be cooling off lately, I thought it would be fun. Plus, I think it's good for the kids to get out of the house. Anyway...we went to Fry's to buy the tickets for the Farm because they were "discounted" to $12 per person.

Now, you know how they say that similarities between you and your spouse are like money in the bank? Well, Derek and I have lots of money in the bank in this sense. We both try to be very careful with our cash. We only eat out once a week, we don't go shopping very often, we definitely don't buy big purchase items without thinking about them for so long that we usually talk ourselves out of said item. Dear Reader, do not worry, I'm tying this all together.

So, after getting into this dusty "farm" we decide what we want to do first. Hmmm...should we go pay more money to ride the train that goes around the farm? Maybe we should get ripped off by buying lunch at this place. I don't know, why don't I just get a bull horn and broadcast my credit card number to everyone? I know, I'm forgetting the whole purpose of this trip--to go broke! Wait, I mean to have very expensive fun!

Really though, the train was fun and the food was fine, if overly priced as is most food. But what did the kids enjoy the very most? The little park that was just like all the free parks you see built in track neighborhoods and this gigantic FREE slide oh and let's not forget perhaps the most amazing attraction of all--dirt & rocks!!!

Yes, it's just like when you buy your child some big ticket item for a holiday/birthday and what do they love? The item you found at the last second in the dollar bin at Target. I swear, it happens to us over and over.

Before you start calling me Ebenezer, I want to let you know that I wasn't raised this way. My grandparents are all about buying a huge tub of really buttery popcorn with sodas and candy to boot when we go to the movies. They would never dream of sneaking in items. That's a whole other post I swear--do the movie workers not suspect a single thing when you are bringing in a beach bag to the movies? Okay, I'm getting off track. Anyway, my grandparents were uber generous with every activity, no corners were ever cut.

I think that I've learned this from my husband. It's probably a good thing. Have you met my husband? This is a man who would come home from school, after being gone 12 hours and proclaim how hungry he was. Upon further investigation, I would learn that he didn't have time to eat breakfast and forgot to bring lunch, so he didn't eat all day because he didn't want to waste our money to feed him.

Isn't it crazy how you can change over time? Maybe the difference is that I grew up in a small town and even when I was in high school going to the movies was only $5.50 a person. Can you believe that? I don't know...I had a really fun time. I think the kids had fun...Ryanna said she did. I feel good about my day: $24 to get into the place, $8 to split lunch between the three of us, $4 to ride the train, the parking was free, so was a little carnival type ride that didn't work correctly, the tiny petting zoo and the big slide. I mean, the zoo charges you a fortune too. I guess it's capitalism at work.

I feel good about my day and my sunburn, in fact, it probably wasn't that expensive of a day if you figure how long we were there and that my kids had fun. I'm going to have to say that this was money well spent. (Now you can read how deeply this disorder goes when I have to write an entire blog about it and convince myself of my decision.)