Why I'm Going to Love This...

About three weeks ago, I got the news that the Bishop wanted to see me. You know that means something new to do. I was actually excited to get in and get involved in this ward because we've been here since the last week in August and I still had no calling other than being a visiting teacher. So, Derek, the kids and I headed to the Bishop's office to find out what awaited me.
I like to think of myself as a very willing participant--someone who realizes the importance in the small callings. Especially after being Relief Society President in my last ward, I appreciated those people who took their smaller callings seriously, allowing my job to run smoothly.
That being said, when the Bishop asked me to be the Assistant Nursery Coordinator, I was a bit disheartened. I accepted of course because, like I said, I'm willing to help and not every calling is glamorous. However, it was a very hard day for me following this news because I don't feel like the nursery calling utilizes my natural talents in anyway. One of my only talents (the other talent is eating) is being organized. I asked the Bishop if I should contact the Nursery leader to find out what I should do and he said, "Nah, just show up." That made me feel worse, thinking, "Great, I'm just going to be hanging out in the nursery all day."
I realize that callings are supposed to help us to grow in areas where we are weak and apparently I still haven't mastered what this calling is supposed to teach me because this is my third time in this calling in the last 4 years. It's still hard for me though because I'm with small kids all week long and I'm one of those people who goes to church and is actually willing to participate and enjoys learning while I'm there. I know plenty of people who would vie for this job because they just endure church. That's not me.
So, today I was sustained in my new calling and I showed up at the nursery only to find no other adults and a bunch of kids running around. I don't know what happened to the coordinator today, but she didn't show up. Luckily, there was another couple there who knew the kids and helped me out. It actually wasn't bad and the time went pretty fast.
The best part though was feeling a little connection to the kids. I really did feel a little close to them--one of the blessings of a calling. It's not that I don't like other people's kids, but nursery is a lot of kids running around usually and you, as the director, trying to keep them from hurting themselves or each other. One of the little girls sat on my lap during singing time and told me how beautiful my shirt was and was so sweet. Aren't children fun? This same girl asked me to take her to the bathroom and this is where the conversation occured that made my day.
We arrive at the bathroom stall. I asked her, "Do you need any help or can you do it yourself?" She replied that she could do it herself. While she's using the bathroom, I'm standing outside the stall door and then she says the following:
Kennedy: "My mom says that I'm going to have to start wiping better."
Me: "Oh yeah? That's a good idea."
Kennedy: "Yeah, she said if I don't wipe better I'm going to get an infection."
Me: "Oh no, that wouldn't be good."
Kennedy: "Yeah, and it will last a long time and hurt a lot."

I can hardly wait to find out all of the secrets in the ward. You know I'm going to hear it all. This is going to be so fun!

When a Good Thing Goes Too Far...

I went to book club the other night. No, this post is not going to promote literacy again. I know you're sick, sick, sick of that, so keep reading.

The friend I sat next to said she had spoken to her sister that day. Apparently her sister was at their mom's house for Thanksgiving. She went through the canned goods and discovered (I am absolutely not making this up) that her mom had canned M&M's.

This is just wrong for multiple reasons:

1. If the bag was unopened, you should've left them alone, that plastic bag was doing just fine.

2. If the bag was opened, could you not just finish them up? Could you not put them in a candy dish and let visitors eat them by handfuls?

3. I'm pretty sure this isn't what the Prophet meant when he said store a year's supply. I mean, it's left vague, so you get what's a year supply for your family, but this might be over the top for me even.

Although, if they were peanut butter M&M's, I might cut her some slack, 'cause dang, those would be a part of my year's supply as well. If you're going to have to survive on whole wheat, rice and some dried apples, you might as well have some dessert. No, fruit is not dessert. Fruit is only a dessert if it is covered in chocolate or assisted in its effort to act as a dessert by being a part of lots of sugar or cream.

Stake "Torture" Conference

Our Stake Conference was today. Also known as the dreaded day without Primary or nursery for those of you who speak in LDS terms. It was a double whammy for me because Derek was out of town until this afternoon, so I was going to have to brave it alone.
Imagine it if you will. Let's put it into one of those movie preview voices. You imagine the music in the background while I narrate:
Hold onto your scriptures because here it is, the most anticipated spectacle of the year! One woman...(dramatic music inserted here and flash my face without the stress zit that popped up on my chin the other day) two children under the age of five (more dramatic music and pictures of my kids running)...face the daunting task of: Stake Conference!
They said it couldn't be done... (show pictures of people mocking) this woman barely out of her youth (I'm adding that phrase to make me feel younger here, just go with it okay.) handling these two children during a conference where adults speak for TWO FULL HOURS without stopping!!! (flashes of speakers at the pulpit).
She'd have only one opening hymn, a couple of releases and sustainings and a rest hymn to help her survive (more dramatic music). Was she up to the challenge? Who would come of conquerer--the young mother or her two, fatherless children? Coming to a theater near you!
Well, I'm happy to say that we survived the entire conference and I actually did feel the Spirit while I was there. Our stake president reminds me a lot of my last stake president in his down to earth, let's be real approach which I really like. I was really blessed to have some friends of mine, who don't have any children, come in and sit right behind me and the wife pretty much served as my nanny during the whole thing.
I really do have to wonder about the whole stake conference idea...I think it's a great idea for all of us to come together as a stake, but it's really, really difficult to have your children endure that much sitting for that long. I realize Ryanna is old enough to do okay with a fair amount of coloring books and Benadryl injected straight to her veins. Owen is not able to do it (I can't seem to get the dosage right yet...) and I am not alone in this either as I saw zillions of other parents roaming the halls with their brood trying to keep them quiet. (Before someone turns me into child protective services, I am totally joking about drugging my kids up okay?)
Even harder is the Saturday night session which my husband and I have never attended since we've lived in Arizona. In our last ward, all of our friends had small children like we do, so it wasn't fair to ask them to miss stake conference so we could go. For those with family nearby, it's was no big deal. Frankly, after serving in Young Women's in the prior ward, I don't know that I would've trusted many of the youth to watch our kids.
Seriously, can you imagine the day before microphones? Can't you just see the families? Here's a probable pioneer family discussion in preparation for attending stake conference:

Mother: June!!! Do you have the gunney sack full of treats for young Henry and Eliza?

June: Indeed I do mother. I have packed some of our tastiest smoked jerky and a whole jar of raspberry preserves with a loaf of that wonderful bread that Sis. Pierce brought us a fortnight ago. (I knew I could get the word fortnight in an entry if I wrote enough of these blog things!)

Mother: Bless you June. I think you may also want to grab some sticks and rocks that they can throw at each other to keep them entertained as well.

June: I already thought of that mother. (you'll notice in corny books written in this day and age, the children always say "mother" instead of "mom.")

Mother: I do appreciate your help with all of this. I can only hope that we don't sit next to that noisy Petersen family. They are what I'd call a lively group.

June: Yes, and have you heard? The town's all a flutter with news that her husband has left her to study abroad for a time and she'll have to care for the young things all by herself.

Mother: Well, we can only hope to set a good example for young Sis. Petersen. She does try her hardest after all.

I am still thinking of creating a petition to begin an even earlier nursery than currently exists. You know how they have CTR A and CTR B or they used to anyway. It would be Nursery A. My guidelines would be:
1. Child must be mobile ('cause before that you just have to deal with them--sorry!)
2. No biting allowed (one bite and you're gone, no fair to make other parents hate your kid)
3. Run by responsible married couples without kids (this will serve two purposes: give the parents of the child a break and make the married couple running the nursery realize how much they want a baby or how they are not yet ready to be parents--bonus either way)
All joking aside, I love church even if it is difficult with kids. I know that the only way they will be able to learn to sit quietly is if I keep giving them opportunities to do it. It's just fun to poke a little fun at my own struggle to deal with it. I am grateful though that I have my husband by my side to help out. There are special blessings for all you women that have husbands sitting on the stand.

Conference, Conference, Conference

Another General Conference down. I really enjoyed what I watched and what I could hear. I'm usually really good at watching an entire conference each day. One of the two conferences each day I normally crash and fall asleep about part way through.

Maybe it's my memories of the time I attended General Conference with my roommates and some friends our freshman year of BYU. One of my roommates was from Utah, and she insisted that we would have to get in line at a horrendous hour if we wanted to get in without having any tickets. Plus, we were young and foolish and it sounded like a lot of fun, so off we went up to Salt Lake City to get in line. Now, when I tell you we got in line at a terrible hour, I mean 2 am. That's right, we never went to sleep the night before and then got in line. My roommates packed a bunch of blankets and I attempted to snooze on cold, hard concrete without much success. We did luck out and get seats in the tabernacle though. Remember, my freshman year was 1996-97, so I'm talking about the OLD tabernacle.

It was really exciting and invigorating to be a part of a live session. However, the adrenaline rush didn't outweigh the effects of dimming the lights to begin the session. The lights dimmed and me and my roommates lasted for a few minutes and then slowly began to fall asleep...in the old tabernacle...where the seats are hard, wooden pews with straight backs. To sum it up, it was one of those experiences that is fun to do once when you're young and foolish. I would never be able to do that now...of course all of my ideas of what I could do now are jaded due to having to think about hauling kids around.

My favorite talk was by Julie B. Beck. She is such an amazing speaker. I love that she feels real, that she seems to be so organized and capable. When she spoke about how important the role of mother is, I couldn't agree more. She spoke, like she did last Saturday, about how important it is that we have children and not be selfish with our lives. I know several couples that have or are currently struggling to have children and I'm sure it's so hard for those women to hear talks like this, but I hope they realize that remarks like this are never meant for them.

I have to say that it was wonderful for her to emphasize that mothering does not mean babysitting. What sort of vested interest does a babysitter have in your child. None. As a mother, you have 100% interest that the child in your care is well fed, well taught, well loved. I watched an Oprah one time where they had working mothers and women who had chosen to stay home with their children. One of the working moms said, "Anyone can read a story to a child." How sad that her perception of a "mom" is someone that is only able to perform menial tasks. As if her mind were too important to waste on instructing her own child.

My husband actually heard another woman speak one time who works well over 40 hours a week as does her husband. Someone asked her if she felt like she was being a good mom given that she didn't get any quality time with her child. She honestly said that she felt like the drive to daycare and the drive home were quality time because she had good conversations with the child. Now, if she HAD to work in order for their family to survive, I would say good for her for trying to make the most of what little time she gets with her child. However, when you CHOOSE to work because you feel like your talents are wasting by being at home I feel badly for your children.

I have been blessed enough to always have the opportunity to stay home. I'm not saying I'm the greatest mom ever either. It was a very hard transition for me to go from working 8-5 to having no defined hours. From leaving my work at the office, to actually, literally living at the office. It was especially frustrating when my first child was a newborn because all she really needed was sleep and food. How easy to convince myself that anyone could do that for her. (I'm not going to go into all the arguments that support how much better breastfeeding is than formula.) Plus, I felt like I was highly appreciated at work where at home this tiny baby never seemed to be aware of my efforts in her behalf.

However, I have to say that having had a full-time job and also having had the opportunity to be a mother, being a mom is hands down the harder option. I think some women choose to go back to work because they actually can't handle the stress of motherhood. Did I get stressed at work? Definitely. Did I worry that I was shaping a future life? Never. Did I have bad days at work that made me want to quit? Definitely. Do I have bad days at home that make me feel like a failure? All the time. The difference is for me, simply this. ANYONE CAN DO WHAT I DID AT A PAYING JOB. NO ONE CAN DO MY JOB IN MY HOME WITH MY KIDS. NO ONE.

Sure, other women are going to be better moms and offer talents that I won't have to offer my children, but if I'm sincere in my attempts to teach and love my children, God is going to bless me. I know it, it has happened. I have seen my child be hurt, sick, happy, elated, surprised, the whole spectrum of emotions. When my child needs something she cries out for me. When my child learned something new for the first time, I was there. I didn't have to hear about it from anyone else.

When we die nothing but the knowledge we've gained and the relationships we've nurtured are going with us. I want my child to know that there wasn't a single job that I thought was tougher than being home with my children because only those tasks which push us to our limits are those activities that provide us with growth and improvement. Nothing was tougher, but nothing was ever so fulfilling. So thank you Sister Beck for recognizing the importance of mothers.