Owen the Soccer Mobster

In a rare and never before published interview, this reporter gets inside the head of the star player for the Gilbert Thunder Soccer Team.


Reporter: Owen how has being on this team changed your perception of the game of soccer?


Owen: You know, it used to be so innocent. Me and my dad would kick the ball around in our backyard. It was good times. Life was so uncomplicated, but the field, that's different. Those kids are trying to take the ball away from me!


Reporter: So, when everyone comes to the center of the field to kick the ball, how do you get in the zone?


Owen: Well, I enjoy kicking the ball and then standing there frozen in my kicking stance. Why would I chase after the ball? I'm a star not a rookie. I've proven myself at my "home" field.


Reporter: And what about your critics who say you play a dirty game finding kids who are shorter than you (there are actually kids shorter than him), and pushing them or shaking your fist in their faces? (All of this did occur.)


Owen: I guess those kids should know that I came to kick the ball and if they are going to attempt to kick the ball too, they are going to have to pay.


So, the verdict is left to the people. Is Owen merely the shortest bully you've ever seen on a soccer field or is he pure, uncontrolled talent? His shorts may touch his ankles and his x-small shirt may be large enough to fit his older sister, but he is a threat nonetheless. With no yellow or red cards to be handed out, will this star continue his reign of terror or will his coach finally have to bench his ego for the sake of the whole team?

Owen conferencing with his coach about their strategy.

***This interviewer reserves the right to interpret all actions on the field as actual dialogue.

Friday's Lessons

I learned the following things this Friday. None of which I wanted to learn.

1. Our house is apparently built on a bit of a slope. At least I gathered that from the water running out from under the bathroom door, into the hallway and on its way to the laundry room. But, wait, I forgot my first lesson.

.5 A scream coming from a three year old located in your bathroom is probably not going to end well. Now we're back on track.

2. Though I thought that my three year old would know not to use half a roll of toilet paper in one bathroom session, this information is not intuitive as I supposed.

3. There is a valve located to the left of your toilet that you should immediately turn off when you see water spilling out of the toilet bowl.

4. You may be grateful for several things in your life and these items may change hourly. But, at least once in your life, you're going to be grateful for a plunger.

5. You may also be grateful to own a Hoover WetVac mop.

6. It's not easy to move your washing machine all by yourself (even if it is empty).

7. In your attempt to not immediately harm your child, should you send him upstairs, you will probably learn that the child was traumatized enough to not do as instructed which is to say put on underwear and pants.

8. This naked child will crawl on his bed for comfort.

9. That naked bum will probably not be clean even though half a roll was used in that very cleaning procedure.

10. You will now be washing a comforter from your child's bed.

Lessons learned. Really. All learned. Glad my New Year's resolution wasn't patience!

My Least Favorite Holiday

I've never looked forward to the actual New Year's Holiday. I think it's because of the let down I've always felt. A little bit like a graduation experience. Somehow, by dressing up in a goofy robe, walking across a stage and being handed a diploma, I should feel different.

It may also have something to do with the idea that I'm staying up really late in anticipation of some change happening. The only thing that seems to happen is with less sleep, I'm a bit grouchier the next day.

Well, hopefully, this year will be a bit different in my recognition of my anticipation issues. I've scaled down my expectations in a big way--nothing is going to be changing with the year advancing. At least nothing is going to change with the striking of the clock. I've also added one resolution to my list this year.

That's right just one.

Perhaps it sounds weak--only one resolution?

Of course I have many more qualities and issues I need to change, but with years past I've found the more changes I attempted to make at one time, the less I actually accomplished. So, just one goal this year and I'm going to try my hardest to make it happen.

This New Year I'm realistic and I'm happy.

Little Sayings to Record

These are all courtesy of Owen--the resident 3 year old.

Two weeks ago driving in the car, from the back seat I hear:

Owen: "That makes Jesus really mad."

Me: "What makes Jesus mad?"

Owen: "When you cut down his plants it makes him really mad."

A little too much exposure to Al Gore or too many "green" commericals on Disney? Who's to know?

Last week while he and Eli are bathing in the tub, Eli starts crying:

Me: Why is Eli crying? (I can tell you that it's because Owen dumped a bucket of water on his head, but it's good to allow a child to confess right?)

Owen: I don't know. I think it's because he wants those things.

Me: What things?

Owen: Your things mom. Pointing to his chest, "Those big things you have here."

Me: Why do you think he wants those?

Owen: Because that's what you do, you give him those and he's happy.

Me: Well, Eli's too old to do that now. He just gets food now.

I could sense Owen's disappointment for Eli's loss. What a caring brother.

I Used to Be...

Fun.
I think I was anyway.
I sure hope I was.
I like to envision myself as fun, but now I am boring.
I must be because I can't think of anything to blog about.
Well, actually, I've thought of a few things to blog about, but before my fingers could hit the keyboard, I lost steam. Yeah, not even partial drafts of blog posts, but absolutely no blog posts.
Maybe that means I'm still fun, but lazy. Yeah, maybe I'm lazy, but I don't feel lazy. I mean sometimes I feel lazy when I find myself getting excited about putting the kids to bed, so that I can break out the foods I hide from them, so I don't have to share. (lazy and selfish a bit too)
I feel stressed sometimes during the holidays. I've been debating back and forth, back and forth. Do I do treats for friends? I've done them every single year since I started the tradition. Even when Owen was only three weeks old. Even when Eli was only a month and a half old. I did those treat plates and I really like taking a little bit of love to my friends, but I'm debating doing it at all this year.
I've been cold. Yeah, it's been cold for us. Down in the 50s or some other frigid temperature I don't want to feel. I want to have temperate weather. I endure those 100+ degree days to have winters where I wear my sandals everywhere. I've had to wear socks all week! Socks.
Phew, I sound really whiney. I'm not meaning to. The cold does this to me. Well, I'm also a bit hungry too. It's my first time fasting in about two years. Not that anyone is counting, but I've only got 53 minutes left to go.
I shouldn't even post this because it's really lame, but my mom requested I update my blog. Boy, she's going to be impressed huh? 52 minutes and counting...

Family Pictures!

Okay, it's time to vote again. Of course Derek and I don't agree, so which one is your favorite? I'm talking a picture of the whole family. The others are just for your enjoyment.

#1 (above)

#2 (above)

#3 (above)

#4 (above)


#5 (above)

72 Hour Survival

This last month our Bishop challenged us twice to live in various states of emergency. The first challenge involved having no water for several days--except the water we had on hand (although he didn't prevent us from going to the store to buy more). The second challenge was to live without power for several days.

Knowing that these challenges were going to be thrust upon me really got me motivated to get our 72 hour kits in order. I have never bought a single item towards this. I have worked on my general food storage, but never my GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW kit. Don't you think that's a more appropriate name? Anyway, I got the most fabulous book from my husband last Christmas called It Wasn't Raining When Noah Built the Ark. It's written, coincidentally by my Bishop's Wife's sister Tami Girsberger.

I have to say that the whole food storage, 72 hour kit, general disaster preparedness had always completely overwhelmed me, so I did what I do when coping with situations like that--try to forget it and then get really stressed out when the topic was brought up because I hadn't done anything. Well, when the book was published last year, the Bishop's wife brought it to book club to show us. I flipped through it and was drawn to it immediately because of the simple way it was broken down. I thought that doing the preparedness thing for my family may seem do-able after all.

So, I don't want to type out a huge list of items to tell you what I put in my bags, but I do want to say some of the general things I didn't necessarily think of that she tells you to put in.

1. N95 dust mask. This makes a lot of sense--what if there's something in the air that you're not supposed to be breathing? Especially in Arizona, there's a ton of dirt and if there were a windstorm and we had to leave you might need to have one of these handy. You can get them at Wal-mart in the painting aisle.

2. Road Map. I got a map of our local area and better yet I bought it already laminated. If it were raining or we threw the backpack down in a puddle of water, I'd be fine. If I have to leave on foot or in a car, then I can tell where I'm going.

3. Emergency Phone Numbers. Before the day of cell phones, I used to memorize phone numbers. Now I know about five phone numbers it seems. And, if I'm panicked? I know I wouldn't remember anything. I'm thinking poison control, police department, neighbors, long distance relatives...

4. Suitcase Tags. You know how hard it is to determine which of those black suitcases belongs to which person when you're at the airport? Well, I bought five backpacks (red for the men and purpley flowers for the girls). I'm thinking of a situation in New Orleans where everyone was thrown into the football stadium with what they had brought. With a tag on the bag, I can easily know whose bag it is and if it's lost, they can find me.

5. Cards. Playing cards. Who knows where we'll be and for how long? Better to have something to entertain the kids and it hardly takes any room.

Anyway, if you're interested in this--a great book for Christmas--you can get it from Deseret Book or on amazon.

What about your 72 hour kits--what did you put in that you thought was super smart, but not everyone may consider?